A colleague told me, in his words:

I go to the men’s toilet, and there a little girl runs. There is no more.
I asked her"Are you lost? Where are your parents?"
And she replies:"It’s okay, I and my dad. Do you want to see how it works?"
He opens the cabin door.

It will be much more fun to perform swears if you spread your hands to the sides and say "ku!".

What an ugly word is the vagina.
It looks like something huge XD
xxx:or terrifying and dark, like "happy"

A school year is 9 months, teachers leave 2. She has to work for a month.

Thanks or free of charge, that is, a gift?

According to the head of "Rosneft" Igor Sechin, the purchase of expensive dishes was planned by one of the "daughters" of the company, and he personally withdrew this purchase. It was about 83 thousand. The rub. 15 thousand cups of tea. The rub. Everything"

What will I eat like a loch from a spoonful cheaper than 1000 backs? More plastic buy, urds"

Fuck, I am the third.
the deer who wants to take a used thing at its own cost, allegedly because when buying a new thing he pays all delivery, rents and taxes, and the seller of the used thing carries no expenses.
Did you not think that the one who sells a used thing also once bought it new and also paid a bunch of other people's expenses?? to

Someone is impressed by the students who do not understand the word "sweet"... As a child, I excavated a book from my parents "Russian fairy tales of Siberia". I remembered the beginning of a fairy tale: "Oral once a man in the field and erupted a colored stone..." What was there next - God knows, but I was then really impressed, until I finally found out that "oralo" is an outdated word for socha. Could it be "told" an outdated word, but we do not know? and ;)

We went to the lake at night.
Breastfeeding: Do you sleep?
Knotty: Em not to sleep.
Knotty: I’ve already eaten two plates of borst.
Knotty: If we don’t go soon, I’ll die from a overdose of borst.
The meat: Hold on.
Knotty: It’s easy for you to talk, you don’t have a borst.

My son came and picked up a laptop. In exchange, he played a spinner.
What about impressions? Better than vodka?
- this is a new-fashioned toy for young people... we have played it from time to time... when the chewed cassette from the maffon on the pencil was overwhelmed...

The truth alone.

The winner is the one who first understood and silenced.

In our group of part-time students there was one creative jobless (we sometimes wondered how he entered the university at all), who often came to the exam with an entirely empty head, but for the teacher he wrote some incredible tragic story, usually little plausible and stupid. Then he was shot by a car before the entrance to the university, then he protected the girl from hooliganism, and he was marked for this, I don't remember. And most teachers, strangely enough, believed him. He told these stories very complainingly, Stanislavsky himself would applaud him. Unfortunately, not all of them were so confident.
Once on an exam in political economy, the professor after several attempts to extract from him at least something distantly related to his subject, asks him what hindered him from learning if not a textbook, so at least the material he gave in his lectures. And it would be good if he had explained why he did not regret any of his lectures with his presence. Well, he pulled about the following labu:
“You know, I just arrived at the session, settled in a hotel, started studying, and suddenly my wife comes from home with our breastfed child. The child throws on me, and she goes to Gagra with her lover. And the baby needs to be fed, diapers washed (at the time there were no diapers), and he is crying in the room day and night, interfering with all the neighbors around the hotel. Eventually, they wrote a complaint to the director about me, but he did not understand and expelled us out of the street. The boy was booming with the baby for a few days, until they somehow settled on the station in the room of the mother and the child. And this is the train station, there some go, others come, a bunch of children, everyone is crying over. Can we learn anything in such circumstances?
What you now read is only a pale shadow of his true story, he himself then painted much more picturesque, just years have passed a lot, many details have been erased in the memory. If you read and think, "What a fool this author, how could you invent such nonsense at all," it will be easy for you to understand what was going on in the heads of all of us who had to hear this nonsense in the original.
In short, he tells all this, and the people in the audience are pressured by laughter, but tolerate, so as not to take care of him and not give him up with a little bit, comrade still.
The professor listened (he seemed to be filled with sympathy on his face) and said:
Well, my son, I understand, family problems are serious. But we still have an exam, at least something I have to ask you. If you answer the simplest question, give me a definition of what is the science of political economy in general. It is written on the first page of the textbook. Opened a textbook?
- Of course I opened up, now... Politeconomy is... it is... science, economics, only political, well, like looking at economics from a political point of view (not literally, of course, but he missed something of this kind).
Some of us are running like horses, but we hold on.
The young man! I see, I have tried, I have taught, comrades, take an example. My son, do you have a father?
There is, and what?
How do you wear your pants, on the straps or on the belt?
Without understanding, he answered stupidly:
On the belt, why not?
And then, when you come home, you pass on my request to your father, remember: "Daddy, our teacher of political economy Ivan Sergeevich asks you to take off the belt and pour it on me, the unemployed man, as it should be on his naked ass, so that the next time I do not hang the scarf on the ears of the old professor." Remembered it? And that, son, you’re still lucky that he’s wearing the belt.
The whole group is already in the open, and yet this monster has found nothing better than to ask:
Why was lucky?
"Because if he had been wearing heights, I would have asked him to just drown you, an attacker, on them.

When I see a priest in a armored car, I realize that he is not a believer!
Because he believes more in the bullet.

Weather in the middle:
This year, the graduates clearly did not wonder, at night 6 degrees was...
It is nothing. It is important that the fountains do not freeze during the day.

The cell phone was dried up and he resurrected, so now he is not a drowning but a diver!

God, take away this misery! What is it?
vvv: Our modelers believe it is Pomeranian Spitz
Kkk: And what to do now?
vvv: Well, I can still quickly add to the description text the phrase "The evil witch tried to turn the spit, but something went wrong".

I am a student working as a night guard at a building.
Then the stomach got sick. Guarded, in short, I ended up a small wooden house meter per meter with a hole in the middle. From the morning it was even ashamed in the report to write: on the certain object of incidents did not occur.

He won a grant. I tell the girl, she says, “Oh cool, let’s go for that money to travel. I tell the boss, she says, “Oh cool, you’ll go to the conference for that money. Should I tell my mom?

They are asked to print a table in 6 columns with a width and height of about 560, when printing comes out 0.8 m.• 6 m.
U: And you can do it in a shorter way, or we will not hang on the wall at 6 meters in height.
A: Change the file, you have a ratio of 1 to 7, do not compress
U: Well, we really need to see everything and not high! You are an expert, you must be able.
A: I can’t, it is forbidden to do that.
U : Who?
A: Demiurg and the spatial-time continuum.

Are you sitting with the calculator?
YYY: Yes
XX: How is there in the parallel universe? YYY: there is everything in parallel

Today around 1 p.m. some high school students decided to put up with the girls in the yard. Beer was taken.
They whisper in front of the girls, worship the whole courtyard, like, they are steep and fear nothing.
A car stops nearby. Two men come out of the car and go to the gunmen:
You guys can’t smoke?
We don’t smoke, honestly.