I talk to my grandmother:
B: Grandson, tell me who taught you this?and :(
I am : Mom.and :)
B: Who is she?
My mom :D
B: She is fucking...

Your Mikhalkov, we in Siberia, do not need a naker.
and...
We were sent to Siberia only the best that could overshadow the Tsar. And this "Queen" let somewhere on the Column shine!
and...
It seems like he needs it on the corner!!! to
It’s better to leave him in Moscow...you don’t get used to it.

I was witnessing the scene today:
Running guy 25 years old "hop" on the appearance of...fast so runs..I get out of the building, behind me a man 45 years old in glasses - the image of "intelligence botan".
The guy takes him off with his shoulder and runs on slowing the speed, turns around and says so with a call in the voice: "What are you looking at? Let’s go here"
The man flegmatically repairs the glasses at his nose and hits the guy with his fist in the face. He falls his whole face in blood.
Man: "I’m sorry, but try to be more careful next time" and just as flegmatically go on.
I tried not to swim so wide.)

This is Russia)

With Kilimanjaro:
My husband two years ago changed with the ugly overgrown lady, from her brought me gardenerellosis, which is very poorly treated for some reason.

------------
Probably because it is not a sexually transmitted disease and the husband could not bring it. And it arises from medicinal abortions and (or) frequent change of sexual partners (women’s microflora begins to revolt). The woman herself does not know how to burn.)

A timid girl convinces a leading programmer to go out to work on the weekend:
Okay, I have to! And in general, in the word "team" there is no "I"!

The programmer, thinking looking out the window:
But there is "man"

I just came up with the name of the soc. Tagged with: "Ventakle" xD

At the door to the toilet:
Go out, shit, I want to!
... (with a compressed voice) and I...

You should go to a psychiatrist once in your life and you will prove your normality for the rest of your life!

Memories of my childhood.
I was three or four years. My mom, as usual, took me from kindergarten, but a little later from the service group and so she was unable to talk to the teacher. I have assumed the responsibility to provide the information.
and Mom! Tomorrow I have to bring in the garden of calas - these are such beautiful white
The flowers. If I don’t bring me, they won’t let me into the garden!
Maybe you’ve confused something, maybe it’s not necessary?
He said, “I won’t let any cal in the garden.”
My caring mother searched all morning for flowers, very expensive at that time of year, taking into account the salary of the cashier, but still found it. We went to the garden: I am happy with the calams, and my mother is evil, with a clear attitude to argue with teachers.
The situation resolved by itself when we joined the group, my mom just laughed so much that she couldn’t say anything. All the children, like grandparents, came with cockroaches in flashcards, and I was alone, like a fool, with flowers!

Today I saw an advertisement: "I sell a printer" - written by hand.
Something is wrong here...

A funny picture was seen yesterday while driving on the Leningrad Highway. A huge poster on the road with the inscription "Burning wells", and underneath it there are girls of easy behavior =))

News on the track:
"Lunar probe LCROSS found life on Earth"

Noah, who could have thought...

Do you need a slave? I will fulfill any wish!
YYY: Coffee in the sort?
Xxx Offline

I have a Kent in the Navy. He sent a passage from the harsh servants.
XXX is
On the ship shortly after the ship's oil tank was cleaned, the entire crew was involved.
10 contractors and 5 contractors.
In order for the slaves not to bother, the commander brought clothes from секонд хенда.
Why was she a woman. The harsh military days slowly turned into a gay parade.
Then there was construction...
Cap went out and looked at it. He cried and went back.

Let’s go together =)
Accident near Yekaterinburg, Sverdlovsk region. The main acting person is the Mercedes G55 under the control of a driver of a man born in 1937, the governor of the Sverdlovsk region. Coming out to a meeting, collision with two cars.
Now napalm - comment GIB2D:
A case on an administrative offence was initiated and an administrative investigation was conducted. During it, the left front wheel of the Mercedes G55 was picked up for automotive research. According to the results of the study, the cause of de-hermetization of the left front wheel was damage to the outer edge of the wheel disc, due to the impact on it of a non-exploitation impact load with an effort exceeding the strength limit of the material from which it is made.

The cause of the accident is "concentration of excavations on the road".

Mega commentary from the forum:
The final version of GIBDD: In fact, the cause of the accident was a sudden spacetime curvature resulting in a change in the gravitational field by which the Mersedes car moved to the opposite side of the road and committed an accident. In relation to the general theory of relativity, an administrative offence case was initiated by Einstein.

Albino
The director comes to me with a bunch of documents and says sign all this for me, you know how to fake my signature.

Albino
And then thoughtfully says you are a dangerous man albino

<XXX 1 place: The hose tractor stuck at the turn of the 600th merino.From the merino comes out in the rage of the NR, jumping on the hose of the tractor, rolling open the door, and there the tractorist is sitting, barely fit in the cabin, ambal, ppc....
I... I... this... the key I wanted to ask on 19...
Tractorist: I close up to 42 hands!! to

<YYY> long thought and here Hewlett Packard...

"According to the calculations of experts, Russia cannot provide enough food to Russians"
I don’t understand – the half of the country is happy farmers, and we can’t feed the population.

Menu in the market:
hamburger with cat.
The Fruits Wedding
Samson from Gove.

I immediately wanted to eat...

Test - "Learn the name of your future husband".
Question of 1. Their pol?