Classic trousers, family trousers and spontaneous erection are a great combination! :D

Today the neighbor broke to his house at five in the morning, and his wife is also named Tanya... he quietly called her and knocked on the wooden door: I woke up from the knock and the aftermath call: Tanya, Tanya... imagine my condition :)

Because of the lack of good condoms, my boyfriend and I had to buy 4 rubles, he complained about everything, bad, fat, I don't feel anything. And I’m with a fool and laughed "At the bad end and such will come down" =)

A lecture before a long break, during which the wild queues to the dining room.
Teacher:"How long do we have until the end of the couple?"
Let us go early, we want to eat.
Do you eat every day?
“No, I’m okay, I’ve been eating in August.

You are such a wicked, rude, senseless man...do you ever cry?
I cry, but mostly from laughter.

by 4epen:

The comrade told me.

Spammers call him once again from %providername%. The text is standard - we offer to connect, advantageous rates, special offer, and all that. This time he decided not to hang the phone, but to answer:

I already use %goodprovidername% and what can you offer me?
- We have the rates are some of the cheapest in Moscow, for example (the description of the tariff); maintenance is one of the best; and the communication is the most stable!
- You know, my rate on %goodprovidername% offers a rate twice as high for a price twice as low.
This does not happen! We have the best and cheapest internet!
Please read: (dicts the link)
for one minute...
Have you looked?
Until now, the internet has stopped...

On vacation abroad:

Meegell: Do you know what website would really produce furor in our time? Website on which in addition to reviews about the hotel, would give information about the number of Russian vacationers in this hotel!

Everything went smoothly until he realized that the torch had to be turned around.

To be married is to not be able to buy black socks. The husband will take them for his own.

Morocco: I am sorry
by Olya?? to
Moragone: I want to live
Olya:your desire is a little different from my plans for your organs))
Morocco: O_o

xxx: Fuck, ipad, I better know how to write the word fuck! Shut up, not shut up!! Do it yourself, the fool!! to

and 1017

Wherewolf: Well, let’s prohibit it clearly.
People who watched him as a child subsequently ruined and looted the great country.
This has a detrimental effect on the child’s psyche.

Rumik: I buy my little pants for the height of 116, although he is about 110. long-legged turned out to mean. And the residents! And still brown eyes while blonde...death to girls!))

I also gave it to U-Shu.

tutta: no, well if a girl is well cut, then there is no difference between eyelids and blonde ?

I mean, it’s good ? ? ? ? ? ?

Right was the classic, the personality of a person is shaped by the environment... and the Sabbath and Resurrection are degraded.

My parents, leaving home and leaving me alone, give me guidance.
and Dad:
Do not drink, do not smoke, do not drive men home.
With a breath of despair:
Let him bring someone, maybe even get married.
The MDA. Still, the absence of my personal life is angry not only me alone.

I play tanks. There is a little boy, 2.5 years old, on his knees.
The tank goes, the tank fires.
I: Right, right is right.
Suddenly they wander, I sit silently.
Fuck the fly!

xxx: he (cat) shrugged my hand to the blood...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

yyyy : (

XXX: I am crying

yyyy : ((

xxx: shedding blood, hardly added to the pharmacy box and..... did not have time.......... the wound healed

xxx: We then still assembled the moped from the bicycle and the straps. Driving 25 to 30 km/h

We sit in the office, waiting for an uncle from the transport company Major. Well, he came and after signing the documents he had to show the manager how to use their site, more precisely our personal cell on it. He asks to open him an Internet explorer, which he hears the screams of the whole office and the phrase that we do not have it and here, attention, he gives: "You what? After all, without this program you will not be able to access the Internet in any way!". We were even upset. He has a leading specialist there. and :)

by Carlo

Logic is when you understand that citizens who believe that everything in the USSR was done through their ass are themselves made in the USSR.