bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142414
 23.06.2017
He is
I’d like to beat you right now, mmm.
She
Don’t lick me, I don’t like it.
He is
What do you love?
She
Pastries with cheese, fuck, I love it.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142413
 23.06.2017
The boss told a browned joke:
“You are my punch!
Am I so fat?! to
“No, sweet and with a hole!”
Everybody pretended to be stuck and deepened into work. After 5 minutes, the head of the laboratory comes from production, greeting everyone loudly and addressing Lone, my colleague: "What is there with my application, Lonchik-Ponchik?".
There will be no more work today, I feel...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142412
 23.06.2017
“Hello everyone, I’ll have sex with anyone who has sexual flare-ups (I’m collecting records for the Guinness Book of Records).
Are you dead yet: Lust, that is, let everyone gather now? For the company?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142411
 23.06.2017
A: If I eat a lot of cabbage, like rabbits do, I’ll grow big breasts.
Yyy: Strangely, I thought for some reason all my life that rabbits are not famous for breasts.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №142410
 23.06.2017
ddd: just game designer asked me how to translate "respawn for reward" in English... I think if someone has earned, or just in the pretext doesn’t ball :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142409
 22.06.2017
Comments to the news about another American school teacher who slept with a student and made him expensive gifts.

Ggg: I don’t understand why the guy posted this at all?)
PVV: here
VVV: I also don’t understand what he liked.
TTT: You may have been like this: "Son, where do you get such expensive watches? Will the teacher rape you?
“Our son, where did you get these clocks? 7 You are throwing grass? “No, Mom, the teacher is raping me"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №142408
 22.06.2017
It happens that you leave somewhere your phone number and it will be "miraculously" known to everyone who is not lazy. Banks, all kinds of shops, etc. Today I called a local pizzeria, tell me about all the memorable actions and congratulate me on my birthday. I told them they were wrong and I had my birthday a year ago. They apologized and said they would be more careful...I don’t really like the shares.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142407
 22.06.2017
It is "Two Thirds Cheaper"

Do you not see the bark in your eye? In your debt box and the solution is contained: don't like - go directly to the manufacturer and buy the product there at the cost, and then bring it home to yourself.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №142406
 22.06.2017
In the interview.
Employer: What can motivate you to resign in the first month of work?
A gross violation by the employer of the labor law.
How rough is it?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142405
 22.06.2017
Asutr: at the work of the warrant - Moscow urgently needed a report, which no one ever needed. A programmer is out of vacation. He comes, the face swollen, all out of the body... It seemed. I looked at the numbers, the numbers are true. He went and left. In Cyprus, the I print today, and there at the beginning of each paragraph "How did you bite me, puzzles!!!". Reporting tomorrow, what to do?! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №142404
 22.06.2017
Novosibirsk, a week for 30, but we are courageously silent, otherwise someone promised to beat skies here.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №142403
 22.06.2017
... and there at the beginning of each paragraph "How you hit me, puzzles!!!". Reporting tomorrow, what to do?! to

"Correct/replace/replace everything" to help...
And in the resume of the podcast "Confident PC user"... How you beat me, puzzles!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142402
 22.06.2017
The ratings of competent people are worth money, the ham will evaluate you from head to foot absolutely free.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142401
 22.06.2017
(from the real dialogue)

No, I am not a Jew. Except for my mother...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142400
 22.06.2017
If you say to any beautiful girl or woman, even a married one, “Yes, a prostitute’t get out of you!” she’ll ask, “That’s why?”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №142399
 22.06.2017
[21.06, 17:39] Alexei: Smoking is cheap, food is expensive, smoking is low
Alexey: And then they are surprised that people on board the plane behave badly

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142398
 22.06.2017
here here :
"colbassa" - in the neighboring area, the color of the composition is dark red well and length.

Generation of EVA!
Electricians were called cowboys because they were taken to Moscow for cowboys in the 80s and 90s.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142397
 22.06.2017
The disappeared breed of dogs Moscow diving - its selection was also engaged in the Red Army: after the Second World War, specialists raised a special breed of dogs capable of participating in rescue operations on water. Only the dog was too aggressive for such a human-loving mission. Moscow divers to the drowning sailors sailed without difficulty, but, apparently, the need to swim the hell knows where for some unknown uncle they were so angry that the victim often had to stumble from the savior...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142396
 22.06.2017
Post with a gips on which a girl of Asian appearance rotates a burning lighter in her hands.

The comments:

As the saying goes, no matter what you do, there will always be an Asian who does it better than you.
YYY: Who said that?
zzz: Asian who speaks better than you.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142395
 22.06.2017
In the second grade he wrote in the dictionary dictionary "robOta", t.k. The word “Robot” means “Robot.”
Later, the parents explained that the test word was a slave!

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