xxx: In the past work (local television) in five years I:



Slept with half of the monitors.

with their boss;

- slept with the head of the engineering service (husband of my friend, with whom I worked together);

- regularly slept with both aithishniks (as if alternately);

I slept with the directors.) ;

pregnant three times;

He has been married (two times)

divorced three times.



I learned about all this from the accountant and other employees of the subscriber. The department.

A couple of years ago I drank coffee with a friend.

I went to him with a question of an employee, I do not remember the essence of the question, but it does not matter.

After her departure, the colleague began to complain how she is angry with him, always asks stupid questions, and in the face - horror-horror, - does not like it to him, gently speaking.

And then I decided to joke, I say, - you pay attention to her, she is not just going to you, you can see that you really like her, everyone around clear, and you have not yet understood this.

A couple of months later they started dating, a year later they lived together, and a year later they married.

They still live together, fifteen years have passed.

I did not expect such a long joke.

When you hear again "...this can only be in Russia...", you understand that the storyteller has never been anywhere other than Russia.

“Mash, I’m tired of your cell phone, so make a quiet call! Who is calling you all night?
and boys.
What do they all need?
Well... differently. They ask me what I do, if I don’t go out for a walk, offer to sit together in the bus on a tour, on a techno-ram with me in a pair to be. Misha asked if I had a heavy wallet for tomorrow, he wanted to come after me in front of school.
What do you stick to them, right? Tell me, I am most interested! Why is this line always like that of Lenin’s body in my childhood?
Why this to you? You have Daddy!
Purely theoretically. I study people.
Okay, I will tell you. Just boys are such people that they need to be praised all the time. It’s like swallowing your head, but without your hands. Even the most unnecessary boy does something good. The equations are decided, for example, either on physical education leaps further, or tanks paint beautifully. No one ever told him about it except his mother. And I always speak. I’m not sorry, and that’s fair. Not everyone knows how to paint beautiful tanks and jump well in length. I admire it out loud!
Probably so with girls. And with adults too.
This I do not know. You asked about the boys. You can’t be nicer than a boy, that’s all. A boy should always feel cool.
How do you implement this principle in Taekwondo? All your boys have a green belt, you have a blue. Objectively, you are the best in the group.
– Ah... – Masha graciously shakes her hand – It’s a little chi-ki!!! I told them that with the belt I accidentally got lucky at the certification. And when I get to hide one of them in the sparring, I say that I was so scared! I say – I was so afraid of you in advance that Sparring won from fear!
Are you wrong, in other words?
Do not lie! I always fear: you will go wrong, you will miss - you will break something else, they are so badly blocking! You don’t have to walk because of training. We need to feed the boys. You know, they’re very dependent on that. If a boy knows that he will have a delicious soup with cream at home, why should he go somewhere for a walk with other boys or girls? I think they marry their wives for that when they grow up. Therefore, I always eat - on a change, on a walk. You and dad laugh that I always carry a lot of food with me, but I need it. I eat and feed the boys all the time.
Well, I’ve heard from you for a year that you need to feed your husband. That I understood. I feed all the big boys in a row, even though I don’t plan on conquering anyone.
No need to conquer. You have a dad. Another thing I watched, to tell you?
of course. What exactly?
You can’t stop talking when the boy is tired or hungry. He should eat and be silent. Do you know when they look stupidly at one point? They do not rest, but rest. Boys can’t talk as much as girls. Sometimes they have to be silent, think about every important figure of the boy. You are doing the right thing that you do not go to your dad immediately after his work with all the water counters and a trainer there.

I just saw the ad on the tape: 4-day courses on how to be a desired girl and get married. They are expensive. I’m breaking the whole business, I feel. Write down: praise, feed, not rub without silence, not be cooler. All the brides are yours. The legs from the ears are not mandatory, beat, Masha has the most ordinary legs, more genuinely seen. But her 8-10-year-old friends are ready to sleep at our doorstep.

by Galina Sozanchuk

- On the boat, the motors must be changed, the gardener in Nice to pay, for the school in the Alps, the daughters, business jets were more expensive... In short, I make a proposal: to build a city-millionaire in a deaf man. You have to figure out why it is needed and who to settle it!
The proposal is interesting. We warmly support! But not one of you has a yacht parking in Marina is not paid. Therefore, you need to build three millionaires. Better than five!
The decision is taken.

Xxx: The materials were brought to the house. Well there is concrete, boards, iron... I run for myself, I unload. And Davecha pulled his back, lubricated his back with a heating ointment, like a finalgon. I run, I discharge, and I sweat. And the final, together with the traitors, went into the Middle-earth... It burned so that the second breath was opened! It quickly unloaded.

I go home from almost fourteen hour shift, I get to the bus stop, I sit down, throwing my head on my arms.

After a while, I hear a child’s voice near me.

Is this a homeless person?

The thought in my head is fucking, well we came. And to change clothes I really no longer had the strength, I went out of production as I was. I raise my eyes and say no, I just didn’t change clothes from work.

The girl speaks to her mother again.

Let’s sing a song?

“Don’t,” said my mother, “maybe my uncle has suffered so much.”

I remember playing with my older brother in the village in hiding, he told me to joke, helped me to hide in a distant room behind the closet, covered up with bags and told everyone that he could not find me. First I was sought by my grandmother and grandfather, then the grandmother and the nearest neighbors were connected. I heard everybody around me hanging, calling me, but I was silent like a fish. Then I learned that they had gathered two groups to look for me in the forest and on the river.

I went out when the grandmother stood, whispering, shouting that she would give me a gum. I think I understand that instead of gum they gave me puzzles. And the brother, who was also silent in the cloth, I have not yet given up, almost twenty years have passed)

Judging by the actions of Zyuganov, the symbol of the KPRF will be the cross and hammer.

Vitaly Lazarevich Ginsburg jokingly recalled how a party official was annoyed by saying: “Among the great Soviet physicists there are Jews: Joffe, Landau, Zeldovich, Chariton, Liffschitz, Kikoin, Frank, Bronstein, Altschuler, Migdal, Ginsburg... It is good that there is ALWAYS ONE Russian – Khalatnikov! He replied, “Yes, only Isaac Markovich remains.”

Roskosmos chief Rogozin accused Elon Musk of working for the Pentagon.
Given the state of the Russian space industry under Rogozin, we can say with greater confidence that Rogozin himself works for the Pentagon.

Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go Go



Xxx: Oh, he has a good skill. He ran a long time before dying.

Several times before I received SMS "Papa, translate but to the number +7XXXXXXXXXX 5000 rubles. I will explain everything.”

Since I have two children, and I knew exactly who was where (about the older one), I always answered.

“Come home, take a taxi at my expense, take it in the safe, you know the code.”

Usually there is silence, but the answer has just come.

“The greedy woman”



Oh those kids :)

Judging by the sharp rise in prices for most foodstuffs, livestock and fuel, we have in the country from stability – only the immutability of power.

© Dmitry Sviridov

The first working day. I just want to go back to the warm sea and a cold beer. And here - in the morning, we can't pull, we can't pull out. On the left side of the motorcycle wheel is a wheel, wheel.
Behind the last bike, in four meters, like a rope tied, a crown flies. Ordinary gray, thick such, Moscow carcass. I woke up a little - this is a bird handy at the bike driver, running after the owner without a guide. The Style!
Before supporting the bridge, the two-wheelers are slowed and pressed into the left strip: narrow. The aforementioned motorcyclist also reduced the speed, after which Vorona, after catching up and hanging over him for a moment, climbed and licked a huge black-and-white-green cacao on the polished ground. If it were not the round head of the helmet, it would have been placed precisely behind the shovel.
Then she broke the twist across all five rows and scratched back along the edge.

I know that motorcyclists don’t like bad motorcyclists. But what did the motorcyclist have to do to get the crown?! to

and b.

I believe that Russia should gradually discontinue the celebration of victory in the war and slowly begin the post-war reconstruction of the country!

Xxx: hz, feel guilty only if I tremble at something very perverted and wrong



Yyy: Okay, who didn’t scream on that porn with gay dwarfs...

Do not blame yourself...



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It is out!

If the glass is half empty, the vodka in it is already exhausted. If it is half full, the vodka is fresh.

In the ninth grade we got a new physicist. Before him was Evdokia Maximovna, she, of course, taught us something. She had a point, she fell on everything supernatural. At the beginning of the lesson, someone asked her:
– Evdokia Maximovna, did you see in the “Komsomolk” that someone has seen UFOs somewhere?! to
And all, there is no Newton or Pascal anymore, only UFOs and a 45-minute Poltergeist. We used this over-the-counter, looking at what soon to enter the institutions.
And here, at one of the lessons, instead of her came a young, tall, in large "horned" glasses and a light-grey costume of ON.
- Hello, my name is Oleg Vladimirovich Ostrouchov, I will lead physics with you. He said loudly and calmly. Half of the girls fell in love with him. From the first lesson he began to explain everything very calmly and quite clearly.
Before the second or third lesson, I suddenly got a bad thought: - what if the desk projector board, which he has over his head, is pushed by a metronome? Not thinking long, in the eyes of the whole class, I did. Having led and placed the metronome on the slowest tikanie, I pushed it over the board so that it was not visible. The boys chicked in anticipation of the reaction of a new and "very calm" physicist, the girls also smiled slightly. While there was a change, nothing was heard, but the bell sounded and Oleg Vladimirovich entered the class. Everyone instantly got stuck, and it got stuck. It was like a well-established theatrical whisper from somewhere behind the scenes – loudly but clearly:
Tick – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Everyone is in physics. He calmly opened a classy magazine, checked who was in the class and began to ask homework.
Tick – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – so.
Right above his head, and at the same time on the ears of the whole class.
People begin to look at me.
What am I? I am nothing.
Tick – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
A few minutes later, she could not stand:
Oleg Vladimirovich, turn off the metro!
What kind of metro? I hear nothing. Ask the housewife.
Tick – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
On my side, my classmates are already blinking with the eyes of lightning.
In a minute:
Well Oleg Vladimirovich, well turn off the metro!
Physicist: Well, whoever turned it on, let him remove it.
Class angry and almost chorus: - Rodionov get rid of the metronome!! to
I get up and, like a beaten dog, I go to the teacher, pull out from behind the board, turn it off and put it in place, next to other devices. and all.
Oleg Vladimirovich didn’t say a word to me, he didn’t even smile. He just continued his lesson.
It’s been more than 35 years since that lesson, but I remember it like yesterday. My ears burn of shame.
Thank you very much Oleg Vladimirovich for that morning.

What is safe sex?
It’s when a woman doesn’t know your name or address.