Vampire hunters come to the castle of Count Dracula. They knock on the door, Dracula’s daughter opens and asks:
You are who?
We are the ones your father hates the most.
The girl cries inside the castle:
Daddy, here are the pids on the self-drivers!

Even when a woman doesn’t want anything, she wants something.

I just read the story of a driver who picked up a woman with children, despise the screams of his boss’s wife.
I remembered a story that my mother’s husband once told me. He is a Moscow citizen, born in 1932. In August 1941, shortly after the Germans began bombing Moscow, their class was taken somewhere to a pioneer camp, somewhere near Jasna Poljana. They lived there for a couple of months, and in October 1941 the Germans broke there... The teachers who were with them were in panic and didn’t know what to do when the director of the camp managed to brake some staff. The bus. The soldiers who were in him listened to him and briefly negotiated with each other, began to quickly throw the boys into the bus and told the soldier-driver to chase with all their strength... And they themselves stayed there... Cover... He also told that a kilometre and a half, 300 meters from the road on which they were driving, several tanks appeared, judging all the German, in one of which the tower turned, and a tankman pushed out of the lookout, but to shoot, why did they not start...
And our military remained there, to die for absolutely strange and unfamiliar children.

Summary of the report of the IAEA mission on Zaporozhye Nuclear Power Plant: "Shooting bombs and missiles on the nuclear station is not useful for its operation. and all.”

Don't fool a cat who sprinkled something delicious from the table, he should also have a minute of happiness.

She poured me a cup of scented tea and said:

“When the Germans approached Minsk, our neighbor came and shouted, ‘You have to leave, Bertha Aronovna! The Germans are about to enter the city! My mother, just breastfeeding the younger five-month-old Leo, said to her neighbor, “Where can I run with my four children? My husband and I have to wait for the trip. He will come, but we are not. Where will he then look for us?”

But I decided to leave anyway. The neighbor’s argument won: “Do you want him to come back from a business trip and catch you with the children in the form of dead bodies? After the war, he will find you anyway.”

Mom took the little Lion in her arms, and we all ran after her with a goat along the dusty road. There were a lot of people there: all fled from the Germans. German planes periodically bombed us, I remember someone screaming and asking women to remove white shirts from their heads: these shirts for planes were just like targets.

Then the road suddenly split. And no one knew where to run: to the right or to the left. My mother decided to run to the right and saved our lives: then we learned that everyone who ran to the left fell right into the feet of the Germans and was killed.

And here we run on that road. The girl grabbed her mother in a large button on her coat: her mother wore a coat with a huge carapace button on her stomach, despite the fact that there was a terrible heat on June 27, 1941. She said that Leo would have something to keep up with. And here’s the Lion holding my mom’s button, and we, Lena’s older twelve-year-old brother, three-year-old Clarochka, and I, all running along, grabbing my mom’s coat.

Soon my five-year-old girl got tired of her legs, I stopped and cried. And my mother cried, sat down, hugged me and whispered to my ear with dry lips: “We can’t stop, Slavochka, we can’t. I have to run through “I can’t.” And I scream and I do not even move from place to place.

Suddenly we see a truck. In the cockpit next to the driver sits some important lady in a fashionable hat and with a bright red mask. And in the body of the truck - furniture, such beautiful, expensive furniture. A lot of furniture, a whole mountain: the car is about to crash. The lady gently pointed to my mother in the window: “Let’s, say, clean up from the road, you can’t see if I have furniture!”

Mom was humbly started to go to the side and take us away, not to interfere, so the lady furniture to save, and the truck suddenly take and stop.

The driver jumped out of the cabin and let this furniture be thrown right on the road and cried out to my mother: "Woman, please, I will put you and your children in the body now!" And the lady from the cabin cries like, “What are you doing, shit? Yes, I'll tell my husband, he'll give you to court, he'll shoot you for violating the order!"

And the driver ran to her, grabbed her for the collar and said to her, "Stop yourself, shit, you don't understand that if I leave them here on this road, they will dream to me for the rest of my days! I’ll take them to a safe place, and then you can shoot me and hang me, you’re a bad creature!” The lady immediately stopped, and the driver threw us all and our mother into the body, and then a few more women with children, and we went.

We arrived safely to the tomb, he landed us and left with the lady of that. Then there was evacuation. Then Dad found us in the evacuation. And then the war ended, and my mother was burning that she didn't even ask the driver's name to find him after the war and thank him. I think, Oksanochka, the driver is not alive, like my mother, but suddenly he told this story to his children or grandchildren? So if you write about it on your internet, will your children or grandchildren suddenly read it? It is so important for me that they know that we still remember him and will never stop thanking him in our hearts... Write, Oksanochka, do not count for work. The Internet is so omnipotent, and suddenly...”

And indeed, I wrote here and publish this unthinking story here. Suddenly, by some space mail or other unconfessable ways of God, the driver or his loved ones will receive a message of thanks from the deceased now Berta Aronovna and Abraham Nahimovich and their four now alive children. More precisely, even five: the younger Mark was born after the war, after the husband of Bertha Aronovna, returning from the front, found her with the children in the evacuation healthy and unharmed.

Thank you, dear human being. “The salt of our land” is about such people. the salt of the earth.

Oksana Lexell, 2015

The word “self-driving” sounds somewhat rough. How much better "racer of the formula C2N5ON".

My grandfather and grandmother in the village. Grandfather loves strawberries, gathers a bowl, takes off his glasses, sits down, eats.

Why did you take off your glasses?

(Dad) - Yes, in the glasses all the slides are wormy. Without glasses, you can...

In retirement, a person becomes the enemy of the Pension Fund.

There was a wooden ball in my avocado again! Can avocado manufacturers not come up with any other toy surprises?? to

A man buys an analog of a well-known drug for potency.

The amount is 234₽.

He placed 200₽ bills and said:

- I will call 34₽ a little.

It is great! I answered.

I put my pen on the counter, I wait.

In his wallet he digs, digs,

He excavates, he excavates, he blows, he thinks, he excavates, he is still crawling.

He looked at me and said:

I did not succeed.

Xxx: How ridiculous would the plot of the movie Call now look. You find a mysterious video cassette and don’t know what to do with it.



Yyy: Yes, and then you’re called to a home that’s been turned off for a long time.

Worse than the smell of shit can only be the smell of fried shit.



YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The worst smell of shit is when in the basement, where in the summer the heat broke the sewerage and could not repair it for more than a week, also broke the hot water.



The smell of cooked tough dirty shit - this is, I will tell you, the smell!



Zzzz: Fuck the judges gathered. Fucking to say so.

Xxx: I’m in the subway, two guys are sitting in front of me, talking in the sign language and stealing looking at me. My mother is deaf, so I understand her very well. They discussed my figure and the fact that my breasts are flat. I caught their eyes and replied in the sign language that my legs were beautiful. I showed them the facts.

Remember to!
No one is hurt as badly as a man who fell into the pit he dug for you.

I was on the train, with me in the coupe was a glamorous kiso (right everything as it should be: lips, eyelids, blonde, leopard bark suit) with two children: a teenage girl and a 3-year-old baby. An adult girl stuck in the tablet, her mother quietly drank tea, and the little girl ran on the wagon, though, quietly and in sight.

Suddenly, the little girl began to roar, stood up in front of her mother and the roar intensified.
Mother quietly dropped the tea, leaned to the baby, raised her finger and said:

and no. Stop to!

A little poem, the girl opened her eyes and looked at her mother.

How did we agree with you? Speak calmly and clearly what you want. If you just cry, I don’t understand you. In the words I taught you, let me.

The little girl nodded and said she wanted to see her grandmother.

Unfortunately, the grandmother is not yet there, but in 8 hours we will come to her. 8 hours will pass when the sun sets, then we will arrive at the station and grandmother will meet us. Is it all?
and DEA.

And no more caprices until the end of the trip, a wonderful family.

Everyone is very interested in how the Germans will survive this winter.
How Maria Ivanovna of Ivanovo will experience her, in principle, does not interest anyone.

In many peoples, parents call their daughters "stars": Stella, Yulduz, Esther...
But the Russian name Star did not survive.

I can’t stop thinking about the guy who was sitting behind me in the bus with his baby. When the baby started crying, he simply said, “Now is not the time for this,” and he immediately stopped.

Yesterday in the bookstore I saw the book "How easy to solve half of all your problems". I took two.