bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132039
 12.08.2016
The Chair
I lived in many rented apartments and visited many friends. Toilets are different. Without a cap, without a chair, with a chair, which does not hold itself in an open state. I have never failed. That's why it's worth blaming, so it's for the fact that the chair is not raised, and worse - they don't wipe out after themselves if they missed. The rest are personal cockroaches. I had scandals because I could wash my hands in the dishwasher in the kitchen, not in the bathroom. from the same opera.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №132038
 12.08.2016
How to blatant la la foolish contextual advertising. This game Diablo fans have been waiting for years". The game that fans of Diablo have been waiting for years is Diablo 3, but it is not the next game with an indescribable name from the brave soap.ru.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132037
 12.08.2016
The Men's Dream
to fuck without protection, not to raise children and not to pay alimony
Beauties and Heroes,

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132036
 12.08.2016
XXX - I did not understand. I live in the Astrakhan region and don’t know about the watermelon girl boy...How do you distinguish them?

YYY - I didn't tell you) fucking strawberries are not accepted.

ZZZ - Why are they being cut?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132035
 12.08.2016
Morgil: I do not understand. You are so careful, so careful, why do you have things that live one season maximum, and I have five or six years?
Roland: And you look at the state of your things and mine. When my things go out of order, I honorably accompany them to rest, like veterans of labor who have fulfilled their duty. And you use dark spells, raising them in the form of zombies, and forcing them to crack until their flesh itself is destroyed from time.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132034
 12.08.2016
XH: Has anyone read Baiser? I don’t know if I’m lacking brains or if he’s writing cleverly.
WOW: What is this at all?? to
ZZZ: This is the huge black orange book that is in the boss’s office.
Is it being read? I thought they bought it to hit us in the head if we were cutting!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №132033
 12.08.2016
Obviously so. The toilet should always be lifted, and the seat should always be lowered. A cat in the bathroom.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132032
 12.08.2016
I do not need a child. Can I force a woman to have an abortion? I can not. Can I write a refusal at birth? I can’t, but a woman can. I have only one right - silently paying alimony, and I want children or not - no one fucking. And you say "sexism"...

Man, you have the right to make yourself a seed bandage. This is called vasectomy. No, there will be no children. This is why when a woman learns about this feature of the male body, she quietly leaves almost immediately... for different reasons...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132031
 12.08.2016
OSSINEZATION - A Preventive Work Complex to Fight Vampires???? to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132030
 12.08.2016
This is:

/////////////////////////////////
17 years ago there was no war around the world, prices did not rise so rapidly, there were no food sanctions, firms and opened, jobs appeared rather than shrunk, the dollar was more than 2 times cheaper. Have you forgotten it or remembered it from your childhood?

Again, they fought then in their country, in the Second Chechen War, and for a year before that the dollar immediately increased 6 times. You once again admire me, I have long noticed that comments "//////////" are often just rare idiotism.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132029
 12.08.2016
I don’t know what shocks me more: the fact that you replaced my laptop charger with a serving knife and a meat cutter, or that you eventually repaired it!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №132028
 12.08.2016
Chinese doctors mistakenly took a man who was waiting for his wife's birth as a patient and performed an operation to remove hemorrhoids, China News reports.



The incident occurred in one of the hospitals of the city of Shenyang in the province of Liaoning. According to the 29-year-old, he waited for about 40 minutes at the door of the operating room, where his wife was doing a cesarean, when a doctor from the neighboring operating room called to him. According to the victim, the doctor ordered him to dress up and go to bed.



At the young man’s question “why,” the surgeon briefly ordered “to do what is said.” The man, afraid of being mocked after further questions, obeyed the instructions of the doctor and went to bed. According to him, during the operation he heard the screams of his newborn child coming from the neighboring operating room.



After the operation, the "patient" demanded explanations of the doctor's actions.



The hospital administration admitted that the man had been operated by mistake and promised to pay compensation of 5,000 yuan ($750), stressing that he actually had hemorrhoids.



The lawyer of the hospital, in turn, said that part of the responsibility lies on the victim itself, since he is of adult age and can be responsible for his actions.



According to the agency, the man still needs rest due to the unexpected operation, but he is happy that his wife and child are healthy and their lives are not threatened. The newly born father regrets only that he is not yet able to take care of them.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132027
 12.08.2016
I witnessed the greatest deception. The supermarket, the evening, a bunch of people and half the box office as usual do not work, and those who work have built up such a straightforward line. I stood in one, I almost got there, 4-5 people all left. To the next turn approach a guy with a girl, estimate her length and bitterly breathe. Suddenly the girl whispered something to the guy's ear, turns and goes along the box. "I probably went to look for where the people were smaller," I decided and continued to stick into the chocolate stand. Suddenly I hear:

Go to this box!

Half of that row immediately broke on the voice, like the mosquitoes on the lamp, and the guy calmly took his place, already much closer to the box office. After a while, the girl came back, and on their faces I immediately realized that I now have an offgenic way to reduce queues in stock!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №132026
 12.08.2016
Do you know how to improve the taste and quality of water?

Buying a water filter?

- No, you have to put a huge bite of meat in the water and put it on fire.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №132025
 12.08.2016
I work as an odmin in an office that delivers premises for trade (mainly furniture, light, household). In the building where the server is located and, accordingly, my nest sits office with soft furniture, there are three virgins working as sales consultants. The chief offered them to hire a carrier in the staff to place chairs in the hall, re-group on Feng Shui and other rotating furniture. Or divide his potential salary between them if they are willing to perform his duties. The virgins chose the second option. The additional 9 thousand (three per nose) is not superfluous. At first, what did the ladies do? Right, they ran to me, the man. And the next and the next time the ladies tried to hide me to perform their duties. He refused and became a fool.

I spoke to the boss, now he is paying me 6k for the duties of the furniture carrier, but I still sit there. It is not difficult for me, it is even more beneficial for him.

Now I am a double fool - deprived the poor women of their earnings, almost as a child, I took away the candy.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №132024
 12.08.2016
More about rides.
Drivers, who are slow, who are fast, have forgotten that the sound signal can be used solely to prevent an accident or to notify about the departure outside of settlements (and not as a requirement to give up the road), and not on any occasion. Not in the residential area at all.
Or go, get stuck in a bumper and I will "bubble". No one cancelled the cameras on the rear glass - you biked, pay a fine of 12.20 KOAP.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132023
 12.08.2016
As a child, I learned from somewhere that if you say something in the sewage hole in the bathroom (located below the border), it will be heard by the neighbors. And one day, taking water procedures, I noticed that the neighbors also have someone in the bathroom. Well, I did not think for long, as closely as possible, attached my face to this hole and said with a cartoon voice: "Hi! I am home!” I have never heard such a thump and cry of "MAMA-A-A" from the neighbors) Thus myths are born.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №132022
 12.08.2016
Rome was destroyed by migrants. At that time they were called barbarians.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №132021
 12.08.2016
In 1988, they were fused by the Black Cheromesh. The river is in the Carpathians. The West of Ukraine, if. We visited a God-forgotten village. The appearance on the river of tourists in the face of us provoked some revitalization in the form of cries of "moskalyki splashy". Well, we are poker faces and we float further... And behind the turn is a bridge, such a wooden structure on low supports, under which you climb on the bay, bending to the water. And between the supports, good people tied their hair. Coat casting, if anyone has not understood, a 40cm thick steel blade. The spectators were scattered on the shores.

There was no blood, there was no blood. But, in fact, this is all you need to know about the "happy, benevolent and polite" people from Western Ukraine, about whom here one affair writes almost every day.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132020
 12.08.2016
In the event of Trump's victory, for the first time in America, a billionaire will move to live in public housing, which was previously occupied by a black family.

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