bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №86465
 03.09.2013
It is harmful to eat on an empty stomach, and to think on an empty head.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №86464
 03.09.2013
Wankel and his son are thorough. All right, with feeling, with arrangement. Not in a hurry, proven and progressive to the very outcome. Seven times measure, one cut, short, two incarnations. Wankina’s wife calls them bobras. It reminds me very much when they do something together. And also externally.

No, there is no wool, there is no tail, the teeth are human: this is like no sign, and the resemblance is so strong that it is immediately visible - here is a bober to build a hatch.

And these boobies bought Vankin's son a car. Choosing, the price there, the equipment, where it is cheaper, where it is better, so that everything is balanced and everything is fine. The parking space was purchased in advance. Because in one opinion on both men the car on the street should not stand. She there prevents the passage of other cars and must stand in a strictly reserved place for her.

A car they are inexpensive, but they chose the best that can be bought for such money. All the best for everyone is not enough so the car, of course, on order. They took this into account in the calculations and signed the contract for the delivery of the car exactly three months before the parking lot was put into operation. So that no day to wait, and straight from the salon to your own garage box to enter, a little drive. But not fasting.

Not them, as you know, but the builders. Parking is late. So they rented the garage temporarily, but also in advance. Three days before the car arrives. Garage cooperative in front of the house. The co-operative garage was so close to the house that it did not meet any standards. He would have been demolished, but he was there before building the house. Although that is not important. Just someone in this cooperative had a leg. Therefore they did not disappear. So our bobs were lucky. The rows of these cooperative garages can be seen directly from the window.

Then our friends came to put the car in the garage. They walked around the city and went for champagne to wash.

After the child. Both are not drunk. And not smokers. They run together in the morning. The athletes. And here these athletes open the icy, in fact, in the winter was immediately after the icy rain, the garage box castle. Vanka opens, and the son looks to help his father. And from above it is polite: “Have!” Polite but loud. Even “gow-gow” to believe. They both jumped out of the garage and looked up to the roof. There is a puppy. Young but not small anymore. The ear is black, the tail is black, and the same dirty though white. It shakes the whole body. It is cold on the roof, the wind is there, but it is fun. He is very happy to have found people. The tail goes straight from the head. He cries like that, whispering.

“Yes,” said Vanka to his son, “he will not go down. Three and a half meters high roof. Someone, in a joke, threw him there and forgot. Should the dog freeze to death.

“No, daddy,” says Vanke’s son, “there won’t be three and a half here. Thirty a maximum. Three and a half is a staircase, not shorter. I saw this on the third day when I was looking at the garage. I’ll go and take a look at the dog. The roof is long, it will escape, look for it later.

He resisted and went out to look for the stairs. Vanessa was still watching the dog. Not to follow. To follow the process without having the opportunity to turn it in the right direction is not in Vankin’s character. The process must be stopped in the embryo. Therefore, Vanka got out of the package one slice of Australian marble beef cut off, the Swiss multi-purpose knife he always in his pocket, from it a small piece and thrown to the dog.

Personally, Vank from such a bloodshed with blood, would never have left until it was over. The puppy did not leave. Despite this, the breakdown quickly ended. Vanka already wanted to get the second of the three bought, as his son pulled the staircase.

of metal. with glazed stairs. After consultation, the men decided that they should climb the Vanke. He has heels on his shoes. If you put the foot right, it will not slip.

The son holds the ladder, and Vanka climbs somewhat. Dolez, robbed a completely unresistant dog and down the utility. with difficulty. The dog is busy. And not just a dog, but a moving, swirling tail and tongue, twenty pounds of fun puppy with a black ear.

The tears of Vank all licked, the dog on the ground put, breathed with relief from well done work, got a clean nose cloth and began to wash off the face of dog saliva. Only the dog saw it. There is no dog, no dog. And what I did not say thanks - so dogs do not talk in a human way at all.

The son took the staircase where he took it and they began to open the castle again. And they just started, as polite from above: “Have!” Polite but loud. Even “gow-gow” to believe. They both jumped out of the garage and looked up to the roof. There is another puppy. Similar to the first. The tail is also black, the own dirty and the ear black. The left is black and the right is black. seem to.

- It is because they are so similar that from one piece of a puppy, - with knowledge of the case said Vanka to his son, - go after the staircase, this too will freeze, if not removed. I will feed it so that I won’t run away. Hunt after him. It is a labyrinth of roofs. We can see everything from the window.

- Immediately you can see that from one spot, - agreed with Vanka's son and went down the stairs. And Vanka got out of the pack a second batch of Australian marble beef and cut off the puppy a small piece. The dog cheered joyfully.

Father, you are the opposite of a puppy. The tail to the top, said the son, when the staircase stood up to the previous place, or it will lick everything again.

- Right, I also think so, - agreed the dog Vank, who came to the dog, - the tail to the top is necessary. He will not be able to blast.

He did not succeed. Hanging almost down his head in Vankin's hands, the puppy could not lick him, as he did not want. But his tail did not cease to whip from this and wiped him out of Vankina’s face.

Vanka put the dog on the ground, again breathed and started wiping out the face with the clean side of the no longer quite clean nose cloth.

“Look, it’s scratching,” the son looked after the running dog, “only the heels shine. Standing on the roof, it is warm. I will take the staircase to the place.

and took. When he returned, he opened the garage. You have understood, right? And from above it is polite: “Have!” Even “gow-gow” to believe. As if with a laugh in the voice. A puppy on the roof. The third already. With a black tail and an ear. But it also has a black mark on the second ear. The first two did not. seem to.

My son went down the stairs, of course. A dog needs to be saved. It will freeze on the roof, but it will not swell. Three fifty, three twenty, and still high for a dog. The son went, and Vanka fed the third. The last. Australian marble beef. A piece, a piece and it is over.

The boy with the ladder came back and said:

– Dad, let’s put the car in the garage first, and then take the dog off. Who knows how many dogs are there? We can not open the garage door until night. So, first, we will do what we came for, and then we will save the dogs as much as we want. Someone for pleasure already. The puppy is nowhere. You fed him.

“Right, son,” Vanka agreed, “we will put the car in the garage, we will remove the dog and we will go and find the wretches that are wiped out over the animals. Well, it would be OK to throw one puppy on the roof or three at once. This is repeated bullying.

They put the car in the garage, removed the dog from the roof and went to the exit of the garage cooperative. On the way, they put the stairs where they came from.

- Something you have been fighting for a long time, not otherwise the castle frozen, and there was no Vedeshka, - welcomed their car park guard, - I told you at the entrance, I have a Vedeshka, come if anything.

- The castle we immediately opened, I poured there on the third day of special lubrication, - Vanka replied to the guard, - we took the dogs from the roof there. Three dogs were thrown onto the roof. Do you know who?

Are these dogs? The guard moved his hand toward the garage. On the roof of the closest to the garage guard cabin was a puppy with a black tail and an ear, so it is Bim. He walks on the roof alone. Eat asks me. The people at first were scared, then they took off the ladder, even the stairs were pulled from somewhere for this, then they got used to it. Why did the owner of the garage not warn you? Behind me is the staircase he climbs there.

“Hey, Jim,” cried the guard to the dog, “go eat, parasite, you have been brought out of the bone.

“Nothing is going on, a strange thing,” he added after the pause, “usually goes off immediately, as he hears about the bones.

“Yes, he’s filled with you, probably,” Vanka said briefly, but he didn’t get into Australian-marble details.

Since then, Vanki's son has already changed the car, and their parking has been completed. But one of their windows still goes out to that garage cooperative. And sometimes. and occasionally. Looking out from this window, you can see how some heart-hearted person lean to the wall of the garage the same staircase, climbs to the roof and with tremendous difficulty pulls down a large old dog with a black ear. The dog rolls his tail and does not resist at all. The rest of the time, the dog walks on the roof and waits for something.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №86463
 03.09.2013
I used to treat people well, but now I treat each other well.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №86462
 03.09.2013
Our cat has a ugly character - it is almost never smoothed, rarely grumbling, reluctant, in general. The kids try not to get into it. And then she walked around, grabbed to everyone, whirled - and so on all day.
The children looked, and then the eldest said:
A broken cat has become something. Did you break the cat?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №86461
 03.09.2013
Well, I’m off, I’ll go to the bedroom to camper.
What what? You are about what?
I’ll go to my wife’s maternity department. He says he will give birth in a few hours.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №86460
 03.09.2013
Apparently, I will have a second half only when I get transported by the truck.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №86459
 03.09.2013
[28-08, 09:39] Taniko: <...> And from these seeds will grow beautiful bread trees, near the milk rivers.
[28-08, 11:35] Satty: and only the hanging shores will not hold the bread trees, they will eat in the milk rivers and get a burda))
[28-08, 11:35] Satty: Oh, this is a mistake – ASID
[28-08, 12:02] Rhiamon: The hanging shores are straight as if George Martin was writing a fairy tale for children.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №86458
 03.09.2013
The importance of the letter Y and adequate work/rest.

I went to work in the morning, in front of a fork with the inscription "TECHOSMOTOR OF KINGS" and address/phone.
The 10th minute spotted why the queens were checked, why such discrimination against other members of the royal family, how this event takes place, how the queen can be kicked on the wheel and what leverage to mount.
Then he noticed the region code 150 and realized that "Kraljev" refers to the address.

Moral: Respect the points and get out of sleep.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86457
 03.09.2013
The police also paid special attention to prevent armed spectators from entering the airfield. All who attempted to carry pistols, guns and knives to the MAX were taken away and returned at the exit if there were properly signed documents on the "stones" and clings.

According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, police officers seized: one cutting and seven smooth-cut rifles, 73 traumatic and two gas pistols, 777 cartridges to them, 52 pneumatic pistols, 1426 cutting objects without signs of cold weapons.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86456
 03.09.2013
I am your first teacher.
This is a good face.
Please remember Patagonia.
I am good for the last time.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86455
 03.09.2013
to this:

My niece (5 years old) today made me understand how girls become good.
While playing at the zoo, she began to tell me about her tiger family.
This is a tiger dad. He is so good.
“This tiger mother, in order to be good, must give birth to a tiger. And I will be giving birth until I have finished my plasticine.
So, dear girls, to be good, give birth to children. Until the plagiarism is over XD
__________
To take the one who inspired this girl to hurt, and to tear her hands on her ass.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №86454
 03.09.2013
and thou thou thou thou thou thou thou thou thou
It would be to go together at a distance from Dubai, on the top floor of a skyscraper with glass walls.)

Phehod [11:15:34]:
The mortgage there.

and thou thou thou thou thou thou thou thou
body

Phaeth [11:16:07]:
My phone replaced the body with a mortgage, a shit not to dream

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86453
 03.09.2013
Schedule at Nikita: Monday 3 pairs of physics, Tuesday - 3 pairs of chemistry, environment 2 of mathematics and laboratory physics, Thursday 2 of computer science and laboratory chemistry... the child is studying cooking in Politech))))))))))))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №86452
 03.09.2013
On the morning of September 2, we go to the cottage with a friend.
There are children with bouquets around.
We get in the mood and go into the cockpit smiling, I sing:

"Breast and Biceps
Sitting with a stake.
Teach in school, teach in school, teach in school
Consuming Protein
Hands to Raise
Teach in school, teach in school, teach in school"

Friend, pointing a glance at one very stupid everyday:

"To four add two
Read the words..."

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №86451
 03.09.2013
My uncle said: Yes! We are fun! You are sober!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №86450
 03.09.2013
He put the Russian anthem on the ringtone. Yesterday I sat in a line at the clinic and the phone ringed. But getting the jeans out of the pocket was uncomfortable - I had to get up, but did not get it right away. Within 15 seconds, everyone who was sitting next to him stood up from the bench - the patriots.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №86449
 03.09.2013
and Mom! Do journalists pay for lying?
MMM, what are you talking about?
The students are pleased that the school year has begun! You cannot lie so!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №86448
 03.09.2013
to this:
"Correspondence of employees of the transport company, chat with the name "Let’s look for":
Saratov: guys can't find the cargo, look at the warehouses of who it is, there are 2 doors from Kamaz, 3 six-meter pipes in diameter of 20 cm each, and the pad 2x2x2 meters black film packed by the manufacturer and band yellow overwrapped.

One major oil company in the city of Naftyugansk had an overflow of empty railway containers and decided to sell them. And a certain owner of a local IP bought a container for his household, came to load it, jumped it with a crane - and the crane can not lift it. The man decided to open the door of the container, to see what was there - and the new, zero car tires were poured on it. 20 tons of tires. Just lost, it happens... When I was a warehouse manager in the same company, we had five pallets of equipment. It was five years old and nobody knew what to do with it. Then, during the inventory, the curator called me back and said, "Listen, write it somewhere, even in the metal, give it up, or it does not count on the balance sheet, but hangs on the warehouse. And all the questions are what". They were thrown in a warehouse when moving equipment for $ 150,000.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №86447
 03.09.2013
A person on one forum asked a question about JavaScript:
Q: I’m sorry, but you’re not a troll? Everything is clearly described in this topic.
A: No, don’t worry, I’m just stupid, thank you for the hint))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №86446
 03.09.2013
The most difficult thing in installing lying policemen is to make them stand out against the background of the road.

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