Look at the pictures:
Oh, the Soviet electric!
Q: What kind of electricity is this? It is a cargo. God, don’t let us live up to such electricity! Such electric cars only go to Magadan, you know.

I often dream of an elevator going horizontally. by this sign I learned to cut off in a dream that it is a dream and I tell the companions in the elevator that you know gentlemen, of course, you look very real, but you do not exist, you dream to me.
Leonid: And they answer, “Sasha, we’re not in the elevator, we’re in the tram!”

I went out to smoke on the balcony. On the street is ZIL yellow-red and out of it so melodically "and the world broke up напополаааааам"...

not funny.
How got the minors, writing about how they love sex, and whether it is possible to make minettes in breaks! I go past school and hear the conversation of two 12-year-old girls: ''When are you sleeping with him? You have been walking for 2 weeks!'' This is where the degradation begins! My first man was 19 years old. I am his first too. We are peers. We are going to get married and we are not afraid that ''s partner is not with anyone to compare's. Many don’t believe it, but I beg you, girls, don’t turn the country into a bordel. There are good, decent guys, you just need to patiently look for them, and not push your legs in front of every butt, say, I will not get married, so at least I get fucked up.
Bring it to the top.

nick
I saw this day, the girl in an open dress crossed the wide road to the red. He didn’t even speed up, he sneaked. slowed down, missed

nick
A rare animal from the Red Book.

We have a teacher at the faculty with the name Kenis.
The first lecture. He enters...

-Hello, my name is Mikhail Semenovich, and I will write my name on the board so that they don't question me.

You know what I do when I’m bored at work and have no one to talk to? 😉

YYY: What is it?

XXX: The Roundup

I sit with my father in the kitchen. My mother passes by.
M: I have found it. It lies where usual. (It is leaving)
A: And what did she find?
I: (Lowing down my voice) Gold.
Q: What other gold?
I am the neighbor. (with a dark determination) which must become mine. I’m going to hunt the neighbors right now. (I go out, I come back with the stumbling and I start hardly forging the ceiling)
O: O_O

Well, not to explain to him that my mother planned to do repairs in the kitchen and asked me to shake the bead from the ceiling. And the stumbling for the implementation of this plan could not be found for a long time.

The parents!! If your child asks for 100 rubles per night - don't dare to refuse him!!! Because in nine months he will ask for you a lot more!!! to
All parents are dedicated...
With respect, Father Egor.

by mail.ru
"My brother and I have a problem: we decided to pour a carburetor cleaner into the tank. And when it was poured, a stopping ring fell from the throat of the bubble into the tank. It is plastic, it will probably use gasoline!!! First we tried to get him by a bicycle spark, but it turned out to be short and we accidentally dropped it into the tank. Then they tried to get the spit with the help of a magnet: they took a larger magnet and dropped it into the throat of the tank. But they didn’t think and the magnet clung to the wall of the tank from the inside. They began to shake, and the beetle soaked and rubbed around the magnet’s edge. He also stayed in the gasoline tank. In order to pull out at least a magnet, they took the largest key that had ever been able to climb into the throat in the hope that it would catch the magnet. The rope was thick. But it turned out to be synthetic, and while we caught the magnet, gasoline turned it off.
So now in the gas tank lies a ring, a magnet, a spearhead and a gauge key.
Tell me how to get it all out of there.
We are afraid to go back into the backs again. Can I ride that way?

The brothers are not fooled!!! to
I’m going to go with the vacuum cleaner and get it all!!!!))))))

I was bitten by a donkey in my cheek yesterday. Yesterday the eye because of this swelling strongly, today is still a snack, this trouble floor yesterday returned home bought beer and fish. I sit in front of the entrance and eat it and stupidly broke my front tooth with this fucking fish, talking like a shrimp. Go to the dentist for lunch. I wonder only when he sees me with such an eye and a broken tooth he will believe me that in my eye a donkey bitten and a tooth I broke about a fish?

In Russia, the phrase "Money will be credited over the course of a day" means "not earlier than after 23 hours" ((

I own a computer shop.
Talk about guarantee:

I’m sorry, I haven’t seen this kind of debboebism for a long time... never before...they’ve finished the cartridge, they’ve thrown it out, then the printer doesn’t print...they’ve gone to the court to file with me.

The guard told me: I had a friend whose doctors found a kefir stick. It’s when you drink a glass of milk and you’re drunk like a bottle of vodka. And what do you think? This idiot went away and healed 😉

The child was bought cubes with letters, on the letter Y colorfully drawn a bubble and headlines on it is beautiful "YAD".

<Aleut> in the past work once decided to go to nature with two departments. Distribute who buys. Responsible for the repellents brought a raptor plugged into the rotor. He picked up his clothes and ran to the store.

A funny story happened yesterday:
In general, at work, our office premises are near the warehouses, well, from these same warehouses dogs run to our offices sometimes, we of course chase them. Here is the situation:
Yesterday came the boss with her daughter 5 years to work, enters the transportation department and with the door opened lean to the daughter and says to her "Well, don't be afraid, come in!!!", while the girls in the transcopter department have not yet seen the daughter and thought that the boss is calling the dog, and how they will give the choir loudly "I will come to you now".
The poor child :)

I sent a pass to the client. In the pass office are sitting two aunts, who yesterday just put a computer (formerly written from the hand) one dictates passport data, the other carries them to the word.
Suddenly, the printer breaks off the keyboard and speaks frightened.
I pressed 5 instead of 8, what should I do?? to
The second answer killed:
Go out of the program and restart it. This is not paper, it cannot be repaired!!!! to

and Saphiroth:
And the dialogue with their secretary came out as follows:
Can you go to the solarium for 3 hours?
- Only if you are firmly convinced that your girlfriend is a good shemale more valuable than a guy.

R: Do you do it?
W: The wounds of the victim :-)
A: Do not print with your mouth full.