bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102094
 25.08.2014
XXX: I torment the acinator. The question "your character is a teacher?" "yes", the next one immediately after it "your character is familiar with the devil?" I even got confused somehow...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №102093
 25.08.2014
In the year 97 we also gathered in the playrooms and cuddled until the morning, until the dawn. And nothing—normal people worked out, except for those who were sitting or accumulated from drugs...in general, I was the only one left.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102092
 25.08.2014
A friend issued a great slogan for advertising cigarettes with a superagent surname: "Bond-die, but not now".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102091
 25.08.2014
I sit on the internet, I don’t touch anyone. And here begins the siren of emergency situation. It is never funny such a sirene, which voices on our entire AND area, and, in the current situation, can even signal military actions. I was scared, looking out the window. I don’t have a telephone to know what it is. I started breaking the internet. And here is what I found on city.dp.ua:

“Before the start of the “Hody of Glory” at 10:15, the entire region will stop and honor the memory of the dead in the ATO zone with a minute of silence, and the service of the HCS of the region will turn on its syrene. The signal, which usually symbolizes an emergency, on this day will be a symbol of respect for the heroes of the country, who gave their lives for the future.

ppp: they would still have an air parade from bombers immediately after the syrene launched - it would be fun at all.

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №102090
 25.08.2014
I drink, you drink, we drink, you drink
A disappointing class.
It came about Russia.
The story...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102089
 25.08.2014
I look at the unknown strawberries, bought by my favorite in the store.
I ask :
What is it?
In response to the whole apartment is distributed
E-e-e-o-o sparring a-a!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102088
 24.08.2014
Men mourn complaining about their half-dead chickens.
___________
Men lie, however, as always, rushing and canyoning to get under the shirt of another fool. Oh-oh, my wife doesn’t give me half a year, and she doesn’t understand at all, but here’s you! Other women pretend to act if they really need sex.
Being the mistress of a married man is not good. But if there are few good men? I didn’t hear about his wife. And when I saw and talked, I almost fell from the chair - a smart, beautiful, with humor! She would fuck her! In general, we’ve been friends... And he’s shy as he rotates on a bowl, scared... well him!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №102087
 24.08.2014
This smart man:
A good (normal in all parameters) LED costs from 250-300 rubles, but most will not be able to distinguish a good LED from a bad one.I had to test the bulbs of some office "Finish"(not so, but you will see and understand.I roll the lamp into the basement, turn on and I have the stripes in my eyes gone.I softened that it was fun with the pulse at the lamp.I checked the device and the record - 146%(no joke) coefficient.pulsation.I sell LEDs, I am interested in people to know how to choose the bulbs consciously.Why?) Because I only sell what I am ready to screw / install and install / screw myself home and my parents.Lifehack on the choice of LEDs:you will be in Ashan or Ikea or elsewhere, check.The phone in photo modedirect to the light source...see the bands (in most cases)...the width and frequency of these bands and there is an em...visualization of the pulse rate.One phone look at different bulbs...Especially different manufacturers in one price category and one power) Of course, you can not determine the digital value without experience, but see the difference - quite.If it is interesting, write in a comment...I will continue on the economic component)
You, shit, say what is better: wide stripes or narrow!!! The water is half water and so much zero!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102086
 24.08.2014
QQQ: And you don’t have to put cars in, blocking someone out, blocking pedestrian paths, or filling playgrounds at all. On the grass, yes, you have to put it. There is no need for grass.

AAA: And where, forgive me, to walk the dogs?

ZZZ: On the roof of cars! One problem solves another.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102085
 24.08.2014
I will join.

I am 76. I use the internet without my grandchildren. How do they say, what am I doing wrong?

Don’t have to excuse yourself, don’t worry. These “usveris” still think that inets have been found in cabbage.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102084
 24.08.2014
Well, I came to work after honey in the clinic. Do you think I know and can do it? Yes to Nifia! When he studied, as something interesting - whispers: "Remove the students!"" Moreover, the patients are crying, and the doctors persuade them to give them a look. Manipulations were not allowed to do, the second assistant only held the hook. Doctors are lacking everywhere, the clinic even takes the 3rd course, only to close the holes, even for the summer, at least one area to close. The nurse is a 45-year-old aunt, for me two weeks did everything herself, showed and told. A surgical nurse. Shamefully yes. Where to go? Everywhere is so. It is easier to grasp a dissertation than to learn to work with your hands.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102083
 24.08.2014
Because somebody will be offended, and somebody will remain without sex.
_____
Only frigid fools use ‘sex deprivation’ as punishment. Only fools are involved in this manipulation.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102082
 24.08.2014
Reykjavik is Iceland, not Finland.
– What a difference – Iceland, Finland... They are all Uzbek.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102081
 24.08.2014
And what to say about you, you don’t even know what a disco is. This is when a bunch of teenagers move from foot to foot. And the movement of the hands depends on which dance is fast or slow. With quick hands make crendels and twists. And slowly there is a girl in them. All in all, yeah! Moving is a very useful skill, as it turns out. The baby’s breasts are perfect movements.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №102080
 24.08.2014
Case at the exhibition. The cat is sleeping under the blanket. The man in the coat asks me to show her, because he paid the entrance.
I ask :
How much?
20 UAH
I paid 50 euros for the exhibition. Get disguised! I will look at you.
The man escapes in horror.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102079
 24.08.2014
YYY: I have a favorite time at work - coffee drinking with botanical programmers, I love them all))) the latest developments from the world of science and technology, virtual reality, Mac or Linux, "how to enslave the world", microsoft - shit, JavaScript will conquer the web, colonies on Mars, robots will take jobs from people, how to train a cat etc. Go to drink coffee with the girls: a show of cosmetics, washing on the weekend, problems with the nephew, the cat squeezed on the couch, which coffee is better - latte or fleet white. Do you feel the difference? and :)

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102078
 24.08.2014
Finished!philfak!, arranged for daddy director in!building company?!!! In the leadership position! Yes, there is something to be proud of, all "self" achieved.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102077
 24.08.2014
15116: Do not violate the PDD (in the sense, do not lie in the intersection) - and you will be lucky. And about irrigation in the rain has already been written, and many times: wet dirt to wash it is easier than first to wet the dust, and then wash it. In the rain, half of the work is done.

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102076
 24.08.2014
In the country there is a terrorist attack - local taxi drivers on the subway from / to the scene of the tragedy raise prices 2-3 times.
There is a failure to harvest - local banchilles, which have sufficient stocks until the next harvest, excessively raise prices.
Against the country sanctions are introduced, the country is introducing retaliatory measures - local banks are raising prices for everything, including things not related to sanctions.
Has anyone yet heard that the notion of "repression" and "local flexion" does not exist or exists only in the brains of the citizens mentioned above and their analogues?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102075
 24.08.2014
This is:

Here, in addition to Grammar Nazis, they also proposed to organize Punctuation-Folkshturm. With both hands "for" Friends, signs of interruption are a great thing!
– – – – –
I have a price list from the store "Pentachok" LLC "Pentachok - Amphibia"SPb with this text (author's style is preserved):
Mayonnaise Provence with Colibri

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna