bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №52472
 28.08.2011
I watch news. The story is about a hurricane that hit New York. They talk about how everyone will die if they are not saved, and in general a tragedy. Further show shops, their windows are closed with faners. And on one such banner is written in Russian with red paint: "Closed for the Apocalypse".

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №52471
 28.08.2011
Congratulations to the Sisadmin! God, not a whole month!! to

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №52470
 28.08.2011
On the website on tourism in the Russian-Chinese conversation book, among other things, in the category:

I spit you in the rice, now you will die. - FANVANLI TULE TAN

In what case? O_O

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №52469
 28.08.2011
From the dialogue of two drunk students of the opposite sex:
I am a student of the 3rd course of the Institute of Financial Management and Credit.
Oh you are! Do you lend?! to

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №52468
 28.08.2011
I will eat bull’s eggs.

WOW: O_O

This is a sort of tomato.

Wauu: bull's heart, bleat, mychurin


[ + 70 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52467
 28.08.2011

I live in Germany, I work in the garden of one lawyer to cut branches, he is an emigrant of the first wave from Estonia, a guy of 64 years old, yesterday I went to him in the courtyard sits a buoi, on the table a stem of vodka, on the whole quiet German quarter plays Gaza " Vodka I poured into a glass and asked..."

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №52466
 28.08.2011
XXX: Tell a Tale =) is
There was a little girl, but one day she was very scared and lost the gift of speech.
Fuck you fuck!! And again!! Tell a story with a happy end!! And there are beautiful turns!
For many years she has been silent, not a word, only quietly looking away, for years. No doctor helped.
Where is the happy end?
WOW: Then she got into an accident, the car turned over 111 times, and she spoke...
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Everyone is happy except her.
HGH: Why is it?
WOW: Because she broke her spine in three places. The end.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №52465
 28.08.2011
I now have Sonia.
Q: The playground?
If my mom didn’t buy a console at 22 years old. I want my grandchildren ?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №52464
 28.08.2011
@bingestreift Bringed a note to see, they say, the fourth external network in a month has flown. A sociopath...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №52463
 28.08.2011
The strongest beer was made in Scotland, 32%.
It is called "Tactical Nuclear Penguin"

Linux is...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №52462
 28.08.2011
Comment to a photo of lesbians on one site:

Lesbians are lesbians.
Zzzz: fuck without end.

[ + 89 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52461
 28.08.2011
Magical power, I hope you have. Help me find a girlfriend, good friends, fun at work and what I dream of. Traditionally, the same or even more. thank you.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №52460
 28.08.2011
by mayl.ru
Are waves from the Wi-Fi router or adapter harmful?
-yes, harmful, after installing the router for all days I roll on the couch with the laptop, I have already gained 13 kilograms ((

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №52459
 28.08.2011
Long ago won a cosmetic contest about the premiere of the film with agent 007 "Death, but not now!". So it happened that they kept in it - pills, but nobody ever looked at what was written on it. One day, my grandmother asked for pills, and read the inscription on the cosmetic...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №52458
 28.08.2011
Metallcat: I wake up with the feeling that I’m asleep. My first thought was sleeping =)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №52457
 28.08.2011
If in the news the phrase "Gaddafi regime" is replaced by the phrase "legitimate power"
Gaddafi, the meaning of what is happening is drastically changing.

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52456
 28.08.2011
trade

Twenty years ago, two sisters from the district center bought a neighboring house in our village. Both are very decent aunts, and their sons were raised in the same spirit. The women died, and the fates of their children differed.
The son of his older sister Denis continued to live in the district center, engineered at a local cement plant and lived from earning to earning. The son of the younger sister, George, went to the capital and learned to do grandmothers there, I don't know exactly what profession. But he, in the general opinion, remained a good and honest little boy – I don’t know if this is possible in his field of activity. However, not to say that the first was a fool, and the second was smart - just so in life.
It is clear that if the house is in the hands of two owners, its fate is sad. It was gradually destroyed together with the garage, kitchen, bath and fence - to repair all this individually for the general benefit of no one is reluctant.
In addition, when in the summer George went into the village with his family and friends and at the same time Denis with his loved ones, the house became too tight, without mutual irritation and various household grievances did not go. The Communist! What to talk about here. The George family and the family.
Dennis understood that the house should be in one hand.
This was also understood by the sisters who once bought a house. They have concluded a written agreement between them. Its essence was as follows: if Denis and George agreed in the future on the price of the house, then the primary right to acquire the property gets Denis – since his mother invested a little more money in the purchase. Both cousins honored their mothers, and this agreement had unconditional legal force for Denis and George.
Dennis wanted to buy a house. After all, for George with his wife and a father-in-law, it was just a country house, and for Denis an important means of subsistence - he broke the garden on the site, which helped him somehow to keep his large family (wife and three children) floating. But he simply didn’t have the money to buy it.
Meanwhile, his wife and father-in-law insisted on George to buy the house, and, we can say, at any cost – money from the man. And then made a luxurious mansion on the site. But in their trouble, George was a real businessman, and therefore decidedly did not want to overpay a penny and, on the contrary, according to the habit, worked out options to reduce the price as much as possible. And finally, after thinking about the sale plan, he did
Dennis proposed a purchase. The following I explain from the words of Denis, but the order of the amounts proposed is unknown to me, and I give them according to my understanding.
How much do you want for this mess?
Why I collapse? The lips of Denis. 100 years to live here.
can be. Call it as you want. I agree with 500,000.
For George, it wasn’t money at all, but he was a businessman.
Why do you want such babies? The house itself is worth nothing.
I will have to carry. Do you know how much the Tajiks take for a breakdown?
Denis grumbled.
This is exactly! Garage, kitchen and fence. It all lasted its time and
I’ll have to go to the fucking mother.
Denis did not think so, but under the pressure of his brother he only ate and agreed with everything.
The only thing that seems to have a price is a well. – is
(Through it drinking water is pumped out of the ground). But here look.
conclusion of the specialist. George put a piece of paper under his brother’s nose.
The Print. The lifetime of this well is fifteen years, and it is already
and twenty! Therefore, only a portion of the land is of value. but
We are a hundred kilometers from Moscow and far from the highway.
He is worth money. So for your three hundred I can offer fifteen.
Thousands of rubles. And that is all!
“Yes, you’re right, brother,” Denis cried sadly.
So you agree? Being proud of your ability to lead
He asks George.
The house with the plot costs 15 thousand rubles.
and yes!
I agree.
In the hands? George still does not believe that the house (in fact,
He gets it virtually for free. And, by the way,
He does right.
In the hands. I buy a house and land for that money. Denis is presenting.
a long-standing agreement between their mothers, which
George knew very well, but in the dust of the trade remembered.
Dennis had such little money. Then he told me that he had thought about this trap at first, but Dennis may have lied.
George, as a true Russian merchant, did not refuse his word and sold the house to his brother, but bought a mansion for a couple of millions of dollars somewhere near the capital.
He actually had some money.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №52455
 28.08.2011
The presidential program of demolition of old housing puts in question the further existence of Russia.

[ + 72 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №52454
 28.08.2011
To solve the problem of splashes on the toilet seats once and for all (as well as raising and dropping them), glue a plastic fly to the center of the toilet.
The idea was taken from German designers. So they decided on the issue of cleanliness in public men’s toilets.
Please please :)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №52453
 28.08.2011
Let us find a crossword:
Child care five letters pre-last
by Porca!
You had a harsh childhood.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna