Boy (M) and girl (D), who met on a dating site, a couple of years later met again on the same site:
D is boooh! What a people! ? I haven’t seen you here for a long time.)
M: I myself in shock, accidentally got the link in the eye.)))
So what about success?
M: The same as success?
D is no. Some sort of poor this season.

I live in the city of district subordination (Z), I work in the district centre (N). Another date of liberation from the Germans.
Chief: But here we need to talk a little about the release of N.
I: Well, I’ll look for it on the internet.
Chief (in horror): Do you know the story of liberation N?
I: But I know the story of the liberation of Z.
The boss (suspiciously): No-ka, no-ka
In the Great Patriotic War, the city Z was not built yet.

Peskov the first of the men who openly stated:"Not pumped, but gave!"

So you decided to get married?
Years go by, we are not younger.
You seem to be friends for a long time. Have you won the friend zone?
Sex will not be before the wedding, because we need it only for the continuation of the family, we do not kiss people, we live separately each in their apartment...
Friend zone: hight level;-)

xxx: A familiar photographer was at a friend’s wedding.
He said: I could give money like anything, but my wedding gift is my job as a photographer. You give up 10,000.

Yesterday I walked down the street, some tents with vegetables, and the grandmother of God approached me and complained: "Son, help me for Christ's sake, I can't raise the net." Well, I think, of course, I have a beard, but for the grandmothers to start pulling the grid... And it turned out that she had 10 kilograms of potatoes in avoska and could not cut off the ground) had to be a pioneer (

For my lower absence the ugly cat hid anger on me... in the two corners of the room, under the bed and a bunch of hatred in the hallway...

H. Potter: I was over drinking ((
H. Potter: Drunk terribly on Friday, bypassing 4 bars. I was treated in the bars on Saturday (I’d rather die in the working week)
LoveDrive: Harry Potter and the Bars of Death? The work in two parts. But you stood up, the little magic boy with scratches... With blue eyes under his eyes :)
H. Potter: The Lost Artifact of Advance Accounting

Instead of iPhones and Macs, I spend money on a paid doctor. Reception without a turn at a convenient time, the list of tests, the prescribed pills not only do not spoil the figure, but also critical days made more regular and ( suddenly!) Healed the mastopathy.
— — — —
And now listen to the same paid doctor.
I work in a pay clinic. And I prescribe contraceptives exactly the same, with the only difference that in the clinic I still prescribe tests. Why Why?
First, tests are the profit of the clinic and if I stop prescribing, I will quickly lose my warm spot.
Second, it is a guarantee that you will come back to the reception. The same - I risk my place if I stop going again. Yes, the management is closely monitoring this.
And most importantly - there is still no analysis that would reliably show that for this patient the pill A is better, and for the one - B. It simply does not exist. Yes, there are nuances that I take into account, but most often I already know at the first reception that I will appoint a patient, without any tests. Experience allows it. Analysis, if it reveals something, it almost never affects the choice of contraception. Sometimes you have to change what is assigned, but people are not robots, everyone acts in their own way.
But remember, the same people work in the paid clinic. And the only thing you get there plus for the money spent is comfort and no turn. Except that fools don’t get there. Unless they are the right person.

<xxx> I have 666 dialogues)))
<xxx> I am devil sociable))))

Before I moved to Moscow I could not imagine that there is such a dress - "summer coat".

Almost all people in the depths of their hearts are good. Except for those who have no depths of soul, but a whole debris.

The postcard arrived with a half-year delay. You and your mom are invited to the wedding. Rustam and Zalin some.
“Give me a look,” the father opened the card, looking long at the invitation, the names, the signatures. I returned, I didn’t have time.
So, it was in Dagestan that you were invited to Mahatchkala! Who are they at all? There was written: “Flight and accommodation at our expense.” Father, tell me a!

Father was distracted. Then he did not remain silent for long.
This is the side of the bride invited.
Well well?
It was in the 85th year, in the New Year. Then the anomaly happened - the whole republic was covered with snow. You go out on the street - there are no walls, only the roofs are torn. On the radio announced the emergency, feed for livestock on the Chaban parking lots were dropped from helicopters, so that the fall was not big. The roads were cleaned up by the military, but their efforts were not enough.

I worked as the head of an infectious clinic; I remember congratulating patients. I stand in front of the mirror, attach a cotton beard, nurses and sanitaries cut salads. Suddenly, behind the window with a rocky rockot and a snow scroll, KRAZ stopped. Well, you know, the truck is so healthy...
I know, of course.
We looked out the window and two men came out to us. A few minutes later they came to my office. A young Dagestan family lived and worked on a parking lot in Chaban, 50 kilometers from the city centre. Standing at the door, passing by, tired, gray from the road. I invite them to sit down.

The husband begins to say, “Valera,” the daughter is dead. Six months of all the daughter, diarrhea was - two weeks, a week ago, she stopped breathing. and all. We need a death certificate, we will go to the holy land, we will be buried.

I noticed that he was holding a small suitcase in his hand. The yellow. He puts it on the table, opens it, and there the baby lies. The whole girl is blue.

Why did you, I begin to argue, endure until the last? Why didn’t they bring it right away?
I want to, Valeria! They could not break through the snow. We found a big car and we arrived.

My father cried, and kept silent. He got a form, began to record, automatically listening to the body of the child with a phonendoscope.

“I,” said my father, “hadn’t expected anything at the time. This procedure is necessary, there are a lot of them. But here I hear noise. Not a heartbeat, as everyone is used to, but noise.

“Everyone is quiet!” I shouted, attached the membrane more tightly. After two minutes in the phonendoscope again unclear "shououuh".

"As I remember now," the father tells me, "I throw everything from the table, this suitcase too, I lay the child, the chief nurse, and then I run for the resuscitation set. After a minute, a horse dose of the drug is injected into the connector with a simultaneous heart massage. There are a lot of things, you won’t understand. The child began to rose in his eyes, and then suddenly he cried... Loudly so, on the whole department...

I looked at her side by side, and her mother slipped her unconsciously on the wall. Daddy is pale, standing at the table. I call Elisa, a sanatorium. The girl was taken by helicopter with her parents. You probably remember. They often came to us afterwards, always guests carried.

The Uncle Ramadan? I say.
and yes! Ramadan is sure. Well here. This Zalina is his daughter. You see, you remember...

A group of 5 young and hungry students are ready to help destroy any sanctioned products. Anonymous, personal visits, 300% guarantee

The anecdote.
The driver’s wife comes home and says to her husband:
"Ludka's husband, a lander, will lift her on extended arms over the balcony and... her. The Romantic!
Olga’s husband is a sailor. He will pour a full bath of water, the sea salt will be poured, the calf will dress, the binoculars will take and... her. The Romantic!
What can you offer me?"
The long-haul driver thought, he thought, Romance is needed of you – well.
He gave his wife two mirrors, one in each hand, curved with cancer. I walked away a few meters from behind, took off my pants and shouted “Let’s give up a little bit.” Look in the mirrors!"
The comments.
I don’t have mirrors in the car.
No, I can’t get rid of them or get out of the parking lot.
The head starts to turn immediately. I lose the orientation. I still do not have a personal car. Courage and "soniness "- in exceptional cases I drive.
Try looking like mirrors in the apartment. Many have helped. This was advised in the auto school.
I only watch the mirrors in the back.
This is how? How is it?! to
From driving they will have sex, and from sex - parking instructions?! to

Well, doctor, tell us, girls, a safe means of protection. Or can you just laugh?

The abstinence. seriously. Minimum of sides. Condoms in 2 places - if there is no allergy to latex.

Neradence: What is important to work as an organizer? The main thing is not to roast or do it at least not very loudly, whileining the harsh expression of the face.
A brilliant creature shares with me their no less brilliant plans for a thematic fashion show. Let’s call it all "Panopticum". What I am, I am nothing. Panopticum - it is a panopticum and it is...

Does a hunter need a 30-fold binoculars?
Zzz Yes, count the hair on the eggs.

XXX: What is your name?
YYY: Hi to you. Tally to you? and :)
XXX by Andrei. Are you from which city?
YYY is Ariel. It is in Israel, if anything.
XXX: I understand
Are you Russian?
YYY: Are you serious now?

by this:

Xxx Che loves: the whole brother was frightened by the prospect: having 100l of flooding in the backpack to swim over the cold river in the summer, the survivors yopt. I have a boy 7 years on a horse river 2m deep floats, and nothing... well, he did not study for a tourist to be afraid

Teach the match. I swam without a horse in May. For a moment, I live in an area equal to the areas of the far north.
And jumped from the third floor, and from the balcony to the balcony horizontally slid (sixth floor). Try to do it now, at thirty, I am in need of bricks to sell.
There is no fear at this age. There is no sense of self preservation. Not yet developed. There is nothing to boast about here except your own ignorance.