Yura, your little girl doesn’t ask yet: Dad, give me money?
YYY: She still can’t talk.) she’s only 10 months.
That you don’t understand her doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to talk.
Yyy: It’s possible, but I pretend I don’t understand when talking about money. Sometimes I work with my wife.)

Today I did something that completely characterizes me. He removed the syphon from the shell to clean it... and washed it in the same shell...

The Solitary Socks

I have a socks! It’s like a bag with bags, just a socks. It is called "House-2". There lonely socks are looking for a pair, and if not found for a long time, you can throw them away.
Or to destroy!! to

From the correspondence of the frontender (F) with the backer (B).

Q: Where is the image folder? Missed somewhere.
B: I removed it, and what was there?
F: There were pictures of the site.
B is too much?
F: All images of the site.

Representatives of a number of television companies with anger deny this information!
That supposedly sports commentators have already centralized such citations.

During the broadcast of the 2018 World Cup football matches with the participation of our national team, you can broadcast the following justifications for a bad game:
All teams passed through the hole of the selection matches.
The age of many players.
- Not all footballers are accustomed to the "autumn-spring" mode, which was recently adopted in Russia during the championship draw.
Many athletes from the opponent team play in the same club. They are better than Russian footballers.
A very cold summer (as in early June 2017) affected the schedule of preparation of our national team.
Young players are losing in the game against the world football.
Very high quality grass cover. Not all footballers are used to playing in this arena.
“At this world championship, the football ball "Chebour" is very uncomfortable for the goalkeepers. The trajectories of his flight are almost unpredictable".

Due to the celebration of the Day of Russia in St. Petersburg will extend the operation of night buses.

First comment (likes more than news): Well, at least you don’t have to walk from the department to go home

AliExpress package tracker (17track) offers to translate the information about the passage of the package from its Chinese into several common languages.
And in Klingon.
I have everything.

It was a post about experimental materials and the selection of the city...

So then...

If the announcement says:
Fresh and good air, environmentally clean place.
It should be read:
- Located in the area "The Farest Fucking". Transport does not go there, there is no road and it is not foreseeable. Electricity on holidays.

If the announcement says:
Plain area, resting and fertile land.
It should be read:
It grows, it grows, it grows, it grows all that is possible. After six months of purchase, you will only crawl and dig.

If the announcement says:
A small old house where you can rest and spend the night.
It should be read:
- On the site is a semi-rotted barrel meter per meter of shit and sticks, to which it is scary to approach closer than 2 meters under the fear of collapse.

If the announcement says:
A quiet place, far from the noisy road.
It should be read:
Theft in the villages is such that even shit will be pulled out of the sort, not to mention the harvest. All the bombs in the district will be yours.

A few days ago, my aunt, an ophthalmologist, told me one story. Further from his words.

“It was in the mid-1990s. Patients from the North Caucasus were often brought to the clinic. One of them needed a corneal transplant. I started telling the accompanying about the operation, that there is a line, you need to wait for the donor material. At this point, I am interrupted by one of the accompanyers:

Do you need an eye? If it’s in 3-4 hours, okay?”

A friend told how he decided to change the place of work, made a portfolio posted on the site for job search. One day, a girl calls him, appears to be the manager of the company's recruitment, and asks: (D) - a girl (Z)-known

Why did you decide to change workplace?

c) Not satisfying wages

Q. What salary do you expect?

(C) - (called the number)

I understand you, we will call you back.

and not having time to deliver the phone to the phone shoots: "Oh*el what" pi pi pi.

XX: I’m like a homofob (I participate either, and you do what you want) I want to ask. Why do I think my ass can be gay? I’m not reacting to every girl’s ass.

ZZ: It is a secret desire of the latent homosexuals, who are the most fierce homophobes. They would be happy to go and go, but their upbringing and surroundings tell them that this is how to be a fofu. Therefore, they hate themselves for this drive, and spit it out on the ordinary rear-wheel drive, which is not necessarily at all in their direction at least once looked.

I guess the crossword.
aaa: Four letters, first Z, last A.
Tagged with: jope!! to
Green and jumping.

I’m in the movie and the trailers are coming. The next video ends with a pathos: "If we be defeated, the Earth will become... (theatrical pause) planet of monkeys"
From all sides a quiet unstructured rust: "And now isn’t it?"

The doctor throws me into the barocamera with the words: Go! and the man near (also in the barocamera): Goodbye, earth!

xxx: this workshop will work in at least six months

YYY: said 30 will give up, but it is a fairy stem

YYY: In this enterprise the machine hanged for two weeks on the crane bar, guess why? Right, she raised the machine and broke!!!! to

XXX: The whole thing

Yesterday my husband and I decided to try the art connection.
WOW: And how then?
HH: And not at all. I played with the cat ropes all night =(

We were hired by a lawyer.

Naturally, she needed a new computer with everything attached. The head talks: buy the easiest, for writing text and work on the Internet, thousands at 9 for the system block, and order it personally at the company N where it has a backbone.

They bring in a week.

I unpack, turn on, and here the writing machine and does not smell!

The Core Duo 2. 66, 8800GT, 2 gigas 800th memory, 500GB screw, Asus P5KR.

Nifga himself, I think, the boss got the retreat.

I get an honestly disassembled disk with a screw, plug into the computer, bet WinXP. And no, 79% of the installation began to send somewhere away. I reboot, write - no screw. Fun, I think, a new computer and immediately problems, I wanted to take in the warranty, but I thought, I was an engineer or where?

I open, the fan on the video card is all in dust. It saddened me, I was seen standing on the window for a long time. Replaced the shelf, everything worked, broke the screw, formatted, put the system. There is a call from the company N: "We mistakenly gave you the wrong computer, return it!"

I come to the office, the seller wildly apologizes and says that the computer was brought for repair. Nothing, I say, I have already repaired it and even installed the system! The seller grabs his head with the words, “This computer was brought by a accountant, and there was a database!”

and oh.

I live with my grandmother in an apartment. When I go to work, I don’t lock the door, I don’t take the keys either. When I come in, the door is still open, the grandmother usually doesn’t come out. Yesterday I came from work, the door to the castle was closed. I knock, no one opens. My grandmother is silent. Maybe she went to the store. He went down to the entrance, sat down on the bench, smoked. Then something pushed me to go and call my grandmother. Our windows are on the opposite side of the courtyard, the second floor. I walked around the house, and there was this picture: some dwarf old man climbing through our window to the street. Grandmother holds it, indicating how to put the foot on the cradle. In short, the grandfather barely slipped to the ground, grabbed his cap, shouted something like, "Tomorrow I'll come early!" and went away. At that time, I stood behind the corner. I waited a few minutes and went home. The door was opened, the grandmother pretended to be asleep, and out of the corner of the room was a hidden modest bouquet of flowers.

Video of chasing the fox for the chicken:

Xhx: You grind your grain, you don’t touch anyone here, the red runs. And the marathon begins.The chicken respect stood until the end. If our players were to run too.

YYY: Well, they would let a lion in the field, maybe they would run. Other footballers are sorry.

Zzzz: I'm sorry the lion will suddenly drown?

The lions do not eat barley. Boobs should be put on the field. Foreign players are fine.

The conscience is no longer bite, but still bite.