bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №101833
 14.08.2014
Баян one of the acquaintances ;) Lived in the neighborhood grandfather of the ugliest character and according to the Soviet rite. in the affairs of the neighbors. He was disturbed by everything and immediately everything that his grandfather clearly considered the reason for drawing up the "document". He stuck somehow to the neighbors to watch something (standard questions: do you have the TV working? Is there electricity? The pipes are running? and in the bathroom noticed that the water in the ceramic chair of blue colour (the table that can be dissolved in the household is sold special, if cha)).
Why is the water blue?
Neighbors found: In the JES declaration wrote - we included. Now on request all include if the stomach is not "six"
Everything is forgotten, time has passed.
A joking lady met with someone from JES, she is told: Grandfather was able to go to us to ask and complain to write, mol, include me blue water in the toilet, t.k. I am not six.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101832
 14.08.2014
... all over the world, hacked accounts of politicians are plotting all kinds of mess...
Electricity in the Russian Federation is true.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101831
 14.08.2014
XXX: Ukrainians are free people, a brotherly people; Mudakhs are ukrops, screaming to Moskalya on a hill!
YYY: Coats to Ukrainians brothers? With such "brothers" and enemies
ZZZ: You were called a fool, not a brother

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101830
 14.08.2014
About the news : "Residents of the American village elected their mayor a dog"
Where are the budget funds allocated to repair the city?
The dog knows it!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101829
 14.08.2014
How do you feel about this turn? Talk to the alleged "producer".
Where is your factory?
Near the Novosibirsk
Can we come to see him?
It is difficult to get to the factory, 700 km from Novosibirsk.
Where is it specifically?
In Kazakhstan...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101828
 14.08.2014
How to remove the green?
Well, it depends on what to wipe off.)
That is all :(

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101827
 14.08.2014
A girl came from the kindergarten with a finch under the eye.
Asking where, the answer is:
Artemis in the eye.
How? For what?
They argue.
Is that why he knocked you?
and no. For what I gave him in the eye.
What are you for him?
I accidentally hit.
Where was targeted?
Anywhere anywhere. In the eye of course.
Have they argued? Do not communicate?
No, we have already settled.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №101826
 14.08.2014
As in writing. Some are happy - we will shave our sleeves, make production, feed people, make money. Others – ah, oh, we’ll die of hunger, the GDP is bad, we’ll all die.
The first are the creators. The second are unnecessary and harmful animals, there are different managers and lodiers.
Per they need to specifically arrange difficulties to extinguish the naphid? They are not needed anyway.

Unnecessary and harmful puzzles are those who promise to squeeze their sleeves and set up production only at the pin of the authorities, and only in the absence of competitors. Until they have done anything, only approvals are scandalized.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №101825
 14.08.2014
Vladimir of Moscow asks to deliver for Polish radio listeners the song "Apple on the snow"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101824
 14.08.2014
My daughter 3 years.
The boy saw a toy sword.
I want a sword too!
I: You are a girl, why is he to you?! to
Daughter: Why am I him?
I: Yeah, he’s a boy, boys need swords, pistols...
My daughter (thought): then let me buy a pink sword!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №101823
 14.08.2014
X: I am 15 years old. I am an amethyst, so I do not believe in God.

I am an Emerald. They will all die! )

Z: And I am a topaz. Wheel in the eye! )

A: And I am Beryl. Fuck the world!

I am a Ruby, that is, God is my Lord.

C: And I am Nikita. My favorite stone is Malachite.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101822
 14.08.2014
What are the knives?
Tagged: kitchen
What will you do with the knives?
yyy: the greens can be cut, food bags can be opened, the thread can be cut off
xxx: straight forward
YYY: What is horror?
A real man should tear the bags into pieces, like a beetle on his chest, with his naked hands, and throw the greens a whole bunch, straight with a rope and just quietly chew the rope in the salad?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №101821
 14.08.2014
I didn’t take 2 rubles in the bus today when calculating for the trip. Because I got a prize, I’m rich, I can afford THIS!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101820
 14.08.2014
Stand up, stand up in the doorway like a copper statue, like a bronze crucifixion.
This is a song about our cat.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101819
 14.08.2014
XXX Chooses a Gift for Your Boyfriend

XXX: What to give him? I asked him, he did not say.
Where can tickets go? Types of Theatre
What if he calls someone else instead of me? His Gift
You will have a free evening.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №101818
 14.08.2014
I bought cheese here in Ashan, Tillitzer, not noticing the inscriptions "Rostov region," I thought the remains of German were brought from the warehouse. I tried - such a smoothie... Like rubber and tasteless :( Here are the analogues...
----------
To think that there will be German cheese in Aasan is somehow very naive. Even if he’s from Tilsit. Now this city is called Sovietsk and is located in the Kaliningrad region.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101817
 14.08.2014
Well, it wasn’t necessary to ruin the Murmansk fishing fleet by buying cheap fish in Norway. You did that. You shouted louder than everybody, give us your fish, we will buy it from the Norwegians.

To warm up, it turns out that it is our fault that they sell non-competitive goods. But nothing, now even three times frozen shit will have more chances of being bought. I offer this fish, which collapses like jelly, to send it to the Kremlin buffet and look at their reaction.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101816
 14.08.2014
Never catch up with porn – develop your imagination.

Yyy: My imagination will never be as rich as the creators of Asian porn.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101815
 14.08.2014
News about the cloning of dogs.

I want to clone myself.
YYY: Why the world another 1 mu4ak?
XXX: We will conquer the world!
YYY: he is already captured by mu4akami, we need to eat someone else

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101814
 14.08.2014
A good example is that for the hamon are fiercely beaten by those who have not seen him in the eyes. He really thinks,
Chamomile is a sausage, and it is made in Germany.
No one is especially concerned about Hamon. Most write that in addition to elite varieties there are a lot of ordinary. And this applies not only to cheese, but also fish, and vegetables, and fruits. And Russian analogues are often noticeably inferior. About Hamon and Brie is another media toss to make the appearance that ordinary Russians will not be hit, but hell there. Wholesalers are already raising the price of fish by more than 20%.

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