bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69373
 01.09.2012
A case on the road, the priora flies into the new Audi A8 (still without the numbers was), the 2 meter ambal comes out of the audio, and a guy comes out of the priora with the screams "Well you fucking got in";

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69372
 01.09.2012
In the work:
xxx: Something happened, I got my phone number in some list, and I now sms coming with an offer to buy some smoking drugs. Something there is 0.5 for 80, gram for 150... don’t you know what to do with it?
No doubt, the prices are normal.
X: I wanted to know how to get rid of it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69371
 01.09.2012
Two girls in a cafe. Topic: "How to remind a man of his promises".
First: Maybe so: "What prevented you from doing that?
Second: No, better: "And when will you do that? (It makes huge and innocent eyes.) Formulate the question gentler, as if you do not consider it an irresponsible cattle.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69370
 01.09.2012
From Cadastre

As a resident of Minsk, I can’t imagine how you can spend three hours on the road around the city.
ууу: We have, for example, the Tsar, he likes to drive without traffic jams so somewhere at 18:30 are overclocked (red light burns) the Kremlin bridge, a white stone bridge... And the Tsar is, he thinks of Russia, and he is delayed at work, well, people also then think of Russia.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №69369
 01.09.2012
- Sing, and no one told you that if you grow a beard, you will be like Abramovich? Not a beard, but a scarf.

Not $15 billion, but $15 billion. of dollars.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69368
 01.09.2012
Take the mouse with the x2 left click.
Many times press the plus, or minus key x2 so that the emoji starts to flash red without stopping.
Then press plus and minus.
I look back at the side :D

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69367
 01.09.2012
XXX: Smoke trouble, I opened a cooking site and want to cook
You’d better open the cascade!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69366
 01.09.2012
Memfis: kindergarten "The joy of the combined kind". This is what wrongly arranged covers do.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №69365
 01.09.2012
After work, I usually left the last, closed the department and didn’t go away. But since the girl left me, the loud phrase of the boss "Vasya, you have been left alone!!" I started to plant out )) at such moments I think of myself "thank you, scum that reminded me". Maybe I should go out of work earlier.)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69364
 01.09.2012
Discussion in contact:
Denny Paradox
Not even the postponement of the core will not help to correct this paradox.

Vova Turov responded to Denny Paradox
Sorry what?! to
The postponement?! to

by Pavel Križanovsky
This is a way for programmers to reproduce—they lay down the core, then squeeze it during working hours, and then the axis is cast out of it! and :)
Support that other programmers escape. And so they reproduce.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69363
 01.09.2012
Next to the snack
As a Chevrolet?
Time will show...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №69362
 01.09.2012
Curiosity: Flying for a long time. No one met when I arrived. A desert around, you can not even see the sea from the window of the hotel. The tour operator is crazy, I do not advise.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69361
 01.09.2012
Peace on earth will come when the wise cease to fight with each other and together humiliate the fools.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №69360
 01.09.2012
A story about a surviving cat.
My parents' neighbors lived with a dog, a bullka for a very long time. She experienced a lot in her dog life, and the tick bit her, and from other dogs was obtained. She was 12 years old, and she was very bad. The owner was injured, but decided not to torture the animal and took the dog to the veterinarian to sleep. She left her there and went home. The veterinarian decided to postpone the case for the morning.
Here comes the morning, the neighbor goes to work, opens the entrance door, and there is her dog! Alive and very good. A neighbor in shock, calls the veterinarian, and there they answer, your dog ran away in the morning, scared of the upcoming procedure, could not catch up! This is the second breath.
P.S. She lived three years.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №69359
 01.09.2012
A happy marriage is when you look at a man passing by, look at him, look at him and think, "Damn, what a cool jacket, you have to buy a man like that!“”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №69358
 01.09.2012
He taught his seven-year-old son the mind, and remembered the thought he heard once - "There are three periods in the life of every man - when he believes in Santa, when he does not believe in Santa, and when he himself becomes Santa."
The answer was even more striking: "Yes, Daddy, the most important thing is that Snowmen was!" ))))
It will go a long way.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69357
 01.09.2012
<Cat> A couple of days ago, I found a carpet and have been thinking about it ever since. He has an incredibly beautiful leg, and a huge, glossy hat that barely fits into my basket.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №69356
 01.09.2012
The Chinese machine that makes office paper pencil:

The pencil comes out only if it is written in Russian. The English font gives the authorship. Chinese – Chinese sticks for food.
What about Arabic?
zzz: In Arabic with the cry "Allahu Akbar" the machine explodes.

[ + 66 - ] [30 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69355
 01.09.2012
Everyone with this theme:
There are fewer people who know how to cook. In the last 5 years I have not met anyone who would cook me better. The sex? Ordinary prostitutes are cheaper. You can break off once a week, as any "normal" will not allow it to do with yourself. The question is, is this the "right relationship"?

The Russians have this expression: "In old age no one will be given water". Per this is why "such "right relationships" are needed? And again: and you yourself didn’t get the girls to measure in all kinds of cakes, borsches, breasts, assign them the coefficient of giving / swallowing and playing in MMORPG?
Sorry, I didn’t notice right away: the writer meant Babb. And the couple for the grandmother is probably the Mudak (about his three signs were written here). It remains to rejoice for you and wish you a further non-replication. Fools are enough.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69354
 01.09.2012
“You know, we won’t be able to do anything with you... I don’t like the military very much.
Why is?
Most of them are not far away...
Not far from what?

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