bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №18454
 23.07.2009
To prepare for the exam, I took a textbook on quantum physics in the library in 1949.
Comrade Stalin is teaching.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №18453
 23.07.2009
One of my acquaintances, at the time of his youth, was driving a car and listening to the Crematorium.
So, he travels from the city N to the city K, from the loudspeakers to the whole playing, the aforementioned Crematorium. He is stopped in the post of GAI, well, he naturally twisted the music to zero, begins to earn the documents... but Gaez, politely very, asks to bring two of his fellow servants to the city. Rejecting such a request was not very tactical, so he placed the two of these camarades in a full swing on the rear seat.
They touched, they mean they are going. Here a friend understands that driving in complete silence is not fun... and turns the pen out of the sound...
At this moment, Armene Grigoriean sings:
And my companions, clowns and scammers.
Friend, hardly a ride out, from the comicity of the whole situation...
And then I went all the way with smiles to my ears.)

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №18452
 23.07.2009
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Farewell to

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I remove the world.

yyy (16:39) :
Finally

yyy (16:39) :
Someone will remove this fucking world.

yyy (16:39) :
thanks

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18451
 23.07.2009
On YouTube comment to the video from the leading news of the first channel:

He is a vampire or vampire.
Their appearance does not change.
No old age

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18450
 23.07.2009
In the past to recent:
The Germans bought the rights to the "Harry Potter" film. The next series will be called "Hermione and the Leather Flute".

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18449
 23.07.2009
This fool made a second basket at his compass
WOW: Is it you? O_O
He called the first basket heaven, and the second hell, and before deleting the files he looks at their logs.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №18448
 23.07.2009
xxx: Did you hear that the foundations of religion were officially introduced in schools?

Yyy: You still need to teach the Basics of Black Magic. Necronomicon and all that. Man must have a choice, and the country needs combat magicians.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №18447
 23.07.2009
Are there any pictures of mine there?
EL: With whom are yours? There was a boy with a red face running.
My body and my body.
Q: What kind of leech?
Tagged with: cake
Do you have a split?
Lack of: No
I have no. I have no.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №18446
 23.07.2009
In our city, unlike the capital, theaters do not scream with idiotic comments. Was this the provincial aftermath? You can’t support it, I still know that the majority of people know the limits of decency.
c) HPR

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18445
 23.07.2009
Dear video pirates!! to
Terminator 4 is in good quality.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №18444
 23.07.2009
From the culinary forum:
Chicken meat will become more delicate if you rub it inside with lemon juice before cooking. Do not pay attention to cuddling and flipping wings.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №18443
 23.07.2009
Accountant (B) approaches Sisadmin (C) and asks the innocent question: "Why don't I have the "Disk A" icon?"
Q: Probably because you don’t have a disk drive on your computer.
B: - Well, of course, there is no disc drive, but it could be done in the monitor.
C: And why then?
B: Why is it? To open the document on the disk.
Q: How do you open it if you don’t have a disc drive?
B: But it will be on the monitor. If you do, of course.
Q: And how do you open a document if you only have it "in the monitor"?
B: What am I stupid about? Have you ever opened documents? Don’t worry about the "Disc A" I know how to work. I do not break anything.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №18442
 23.07.2009
Unknown girl from Aska (D), I (I):
D is bringing! Are you cute?
I am hm. No one seemed to complain.
Will we meet in Real? I am cute too! Here is :-)
I: Well let me
D: I am now in Izmailovsk, how long do you have to go?
I: 6 hours somewhere
D: The interruption?! to
I: No, Nizhny Novgorod ;D

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №18441
 23.07.2009
Dear Dear Scientists! I am a simple Russian guy. I work programming. I pay taxes. All the topic! Fuck, but you’ve gotten rid of it!! Where are the teleporters?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №18440
 23.07.2009
A Russian man reads instructions when he is broken, but he reads the Bible when he is alive.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №18439
 23.07.2009
The weekend day. A young family – father, mother, little son. After breakfast, the boy ran out for a walk. My mom washed in the bathroom. Dad, walking around the apartment, decided that it was time to lure his wife. But she was not before that. After driving her husband out of the bathroom, she locked the door to the spinning machine. Once a decision is made, action must be taken. Under the pretext that it was heavily attached to the pot, the sufferer was launched. After another attempt to shake his coat and adjust, getting a wet towel on his mouth, he was finally expelled. Having already accepted the defeat, the poor man felt that he could not do without the toilet. No requests have been made to the spouse. The only thing she recommended was, "If you are so unhelpful - use a baby pot." Nothing to do - had to find and sit in the corridor in front of the inaccessible door. At the most interesting place, a knock broke out and at the same time the entrance door opened / the child did not clog. There was an unknown woman on the doorstep.
Apparently the only thing that came to her mind when she saw such an idyllic picture was to ask, "Is Mom and Dad at home?" Realizing that he was taken for a fool, our hero replied - "TRUCT." Then I heard,
“When they come back, tell me, the insurer came.” She carefully covered the door. What happened to the door to the bathroom and the contents of the pot - history silences...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №18438
 23.07.2009
The famous Hollywood movie diva came on a tour in Paris and learned that a very good photographer works near the Eiffel Tower. She turned to him and he took a picture that she liked very much.
Twenty-five years later, she returned to Paris, remembered her photographer, found him, and he took her portrait again. But this time she liked the photo much less, and she told the photographer about it. The old man replied, “Madame, last time.
I was 25 years younger!”

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18437
 23.07.2009
One of the gifts! Do you remember?
2 I remember. So small, so shaky. He lacked adrenaline.
1 of AGA. This was the last time Parkour got involved. But quickly tired, boring, he says, just running and jumping. I invented an upgrade for parkour.
2: Knowing Sam - in anticipation )
1: In short, sinking in a strange area, the situation is understood. By the evening finds some whispering hopes, with the cry of "hopes - urds, I throw all of you in the neighbor's stone or rod and on the folds. A crowd behind him.
The second is ? ? ? ?
1: Adrenaline, he says, full of pants. Parkour opens from the other side. He has never been caught yet.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №18436
 23.07.2009
Conversation with an acquaintance:
"Month of the month! Yesterday, Miche said I wanted to be a boy. Then I asked if he loved me a boy. He said no, I said he's ugly loves me just because I'm a cute girl and not for the soul and went knocking the door into another room. From the kitchen a scream of despair, do you want me to become a peder? I stand up! Not to be rejected!"

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №18435
 23.07.2009
I realized that I was surrounded by not quite adequate people when I woke up at night from the whispers of a friend with whom I lived in the same room in a sanatorium. After long torture and interrogation from her non-membership subjugations, she was able to understand that she dreamed that her boyfriend had supposedly changed her with his ex. Everything would be nothing, but she called him at 4 in the morning, said he was a goat and threw the phone.

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