Moscow, 2 June 2017
A group of protesters against global warming swept in snow.

xxx: you know today in the pharmacy went and there oxygen cocktails are made and the seller to one man who bought something offered the type do you want an oxygen cocktail and he is so "no thank you I breath myself"
Oh my God, I am so rude.
xxx: no one understood, but I first roasted in the pharmacy then in the street still roasted and another five minutes with breaks to remember what I roasted

What is the value of "Black Square"?

What Diagonal?

Straga: Asked the wife who returned from the store (03.06.2017) how is the weather? He said it was warm. Then she quietly added: Truth I was in the puppy...

The apache!
Be Healthy!
Do not wait!
I’m tired of waiting, we’ll arrange.

Ryazan hipsters do not cut their beards, but turn them!

My husband invited me to the concert of the group "Drunk Goose". Classics are played, he says, in modern processing. Even Google didn’t realize they were The Piano Guys.

111: About the pashlons did not googled, or it turns out that we did not have them on the continent)
222: I watched a video about the Paslenovs, they told me that they were still planted asars
And I watched the aliens build the pyramids.
333 And now they are building roads.

I had a friend. We met in school because of the common interests - while the others were cuddling and playing in love, we were actively looking for ways to realize ourselves professionally.
But here's the problem - the friend had a bunch of ideas, but none went further (!) The logo. He painted cool logos, yes, but barely a logo was made – interest in the project disappeared.
He was unable to find a job and a girlfriend. Employers regarded him as lazy and the female sex as an empty bell.
But it was ten years ago. Now he is the owner – Tadam! Logo Design Studios in Canada.

I am for what. As you know, the devil lies in the details. And in general, in the details can cover anything, including the matter of your whole life.

Mathematics: 2 + 2 = 4
Programming: 1 + 1 = 10
Medical: 1 cubic cm + 100 cubic cm = 1 cubic cm of active substance
Lawyer: two plus two is equal to four, unless otherwise provided by the law, the contract or the substance of the circumstances.
Financialist: two plus two equals four minus NDFL 13% plus clearance in PFR 22% plus FSS 2.9% plus FFOMS 5.1% in the end 3.48 you, 0,52 me, 1.72 them

Sobyanin comes to Putin and says:
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, I removed all the tents near the subway, excavated all of Moscow, and the treasures hidden by Luzhkov never found.
– Sergey Semenovich, did you look under the fifth floors?

Husband and wife choose in the supermarket dog food (large pots of 750 grams). He is angry:
This is what the name "Em without problems". They would write the truth: “Every morning I eat a cane!”"

xxx: We went into the bushes and this drunkard with the screams "Musketers, cross our streams! For France! For the king!" foolish at $$al me on the shoe!

The Ministry of Health will ban smoking in films

X : How? Now the maniac cut off the head of the victim can not smoke a cigarette?
u:Now, Morgunov, teaching twist, will push "Chupa-chops" :)
Sherlock Holmes to let soap bubbles go

The Russian labour market needs engineers most, says the head of Rostrod

The comments:

Specialists on population reduction and sales of natural resources
Distributors of Spaces
Employees of RPC
Space Soldiers and Drivers
Specialists on closing rural schools and hospitals
Annual repair of roads
Specialists in calculation and comparison with salaries of tariffs of housing units and caps of repair
Experts on pricing food products and reducing their quality
This is not a complete list of the most sought-after and well-paid specialties in the country!

One day, sitting at a visit with her school girlfriend, I mentioned in a conversation that my mother’s girl’s surname was very similar to her. The girlfriend’s mother, hearing this, suddenly stumbled and asked, “Is your mother not like that at the time?” I say “Yes.” “And aunt, when is she not your mother’s school friend?” I was surprised, but yes, my aunt-tante is indeed my mother’s school friend, of whom I’ve heard a lot of good and good stories. And then... “So, they killed her... They shot her together with her husband. The husband was a bandit, he threw huge money of influential people, and they were killed. Somewhere a month ago.

I was slightly touched by this news, I never saw this lady in the eyes, but my mother was very upset, cried, mocked herself that because of family and work I did not communicate with my childhood friend and could not fix this.

And here I come home somehow from school, and my mom sits next to the phone and laughs:

"Imagine, he says, I call my daughter "dead", I begin to push the talk of condolences, and the one, surprisedly adds, but everyone tries to say that nothing terrible, this is all fixable." Here, the mother begins to understand that there can not be such a reaction in the daughter.

As a result, it turns out: a aunt, walking in the evening with her husband, fell on the ice, broke her arm. My husband is healthy and works as an economist. Yes, it was a month ago, but how the “sarafan radio” news of a broken arm turned into the death of two by a bandit bullet, it’s a big mystery.

I get into the elevator, followed by father and son. Child of 3 years. He is carefully studying me. I wear a dress (I can’t say it’s nasty, but it’s short). A few floors later, the child says, “Daddy, why is she without pants? “”

She came out of the elevator under the whistle of the red-looking father and his explanations about boys and girls, dresses, shirts and pants.

I have a friend. And when his wife's time came to give birth, they decided to call his son Gleb. Obviously, they answered that they would be annoying to explain. But my friend was relentless. At first, everything was easier in the kindergarten, the children were still small, but Gleb went to the first class - and it went! Give me bread! “Greek, go after the bread!” Clearly, the boy is hysterical: "Why did you call me so! ? to Couldn’t she be there, or could she be there?”

And last summer, a friend bought a larger apartment in another neighborhood, and the son was transferred to a neighborhood school. He was taken to second grade on September 1 with tears and tears. He was somehow accustomed to himself, and again he refused to experience all this! But! When his mother picked him up from school in the evening, the child smiled and no tears were seen. A friend asks his wife, “What happened? How is it?” “That is so! In his class, it turns out, students Taras, Edik and Anton! Our Gleb almost died of happiness! and)))

From Rufus.

What is a Webinar?

This is the replacement of normal learning for anything hipster-like with nothing.
Very popular in the last five years. To create the impression in the victim that she understood something or learned something. Often for money. A legal way to withdraw funds from the trial population.

I got a tooth sick. The dentist looked and said, “Remove.” Remove it, so remove it. Eight is not a pity. I come from the surgeon. This surgeon comes out, the uncle is so impressive, 40 years old. I start smiling, blinking, complimenting all sorts of things (the guy is trying to somehow delight me before the execution). I sit in a chair. The injection. I wait. The surgeon smiles and pretends he likes me so much. Takes the tool, carefully pulls out my tooth.

Then, smiling again, he asks:

Are you a girl, not married?

I think, “Here’s the claw. Maybe I really liked him...” I say:

No, not married

He answered me so seriously:

Well, you hurry, but the less teeth, the harder it will be to do.