bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116573
 28.07.2015
Now the spokeswoman for RBC says: "It will be prohibited to import flowers and plants from European countries into Russia. All the fault is a dangerous parasite." Who the bold TV host meant, I do not know.
JW

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116572
 28.07.2015
from 4pda:

Razoblachitel1 27.07.15 12:09
and xronox,
The loner does not help. There is a need for the rapists to give a set of good robberies.

Razoblachitel10 27.07.15 12:14
*Nipples... although the first option for intimidation will come down.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116571
 28.07.2015
I told my kids about my worst day. One of many. Listen with compassion. The old man seriously said:
and Mom! You have a standalone missing. I’ll go to myself, roast.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №116570
 28.07.2015
The idea: to change your clothes and run to the teens with the words "I'm you from the future, stop listening to Russian rap!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116569
 28.07.2015
Come in the depths, here somewhere on the buildings the inscriptions "Glory of the CPSU" are still not painted.
--------
And right, soon it will be useful.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116568
 28.07.2015
Why did you suddenly decide that mommies are lonely? To afford such a luxury, to drag a son on a pen until the age of fifteen, and then to drive for that pen until the age of forty-five, the mother must have free time and opportunities. A lonely woman walks like a tractor, her son is often alone at home and by the age of ten he will already heat up the soup, and by the age of thirteen he will prepare a simple dinner. In order for the mom to sit at home, feeding with a spoonful and holi-lealeal to the complete helplessness of the boy - it is necessary that the daddy not just went anywhere, he is also quite viable on three earns.

So do not scream. Single mothers have very intelligent sons. But the housewives on the courageous provision - eternal babies, it is.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №116567
 27.07.2015
Purchased here a deodorant for the toilet - anti-tobacco neutralizer, and instead of neutralizing, it gives tobacco smoke a refined aroma, straight mm, so you can imagine that the toilet has just been visited by an elegant gentleman with a expensive cigar ;)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116566
 27.07.2015
How often do you talk about drowning?
Well, this topic sometimes pops up ahahaphaaphaahah sorry.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №116565
 27.07.2015
pasl_4> The past summer. From Spain to St. Petersburg. South of Sweden.
Pasl_4> After 10 minutes it turns out that the girl forgot to refuel the bag. In Sweden it’s not a special problem, it doesn’t disappear...but it has to come back.

pasl_4> - Are you with us or will you wait?
Let us wait.

pasl_4> We have half an hour. We sit on a suburb in the middle of the forest, get cheese, bread, juice. We barely eat, the guys are coming back. We sit in the car again.
A guy walks into the cafe:

pasl_4> -Are you hungry?
My wife shakes her head:
We just ate some snakes.

pasl_4> The guy is pale and quietly slips from the seat...
React immediately
Some snacks!I am correcting.
They translate the spirit.

pasl_4> - What did I say? - quietly whispers the partner
Not entirely that...

I wonder for whom did they accept us?? to
This is how Russian legends are born.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116564
 27.07.2015
xxx - Today I watched with my own eyes the effect of "Ghost in the fan"
In our office at the entrance on the first floor there is an automatic brush for cleaning shoes.
Comfortably, came out of the street, pulled off the shoes, cleaned the dust or vice versa, before leaving, added a cream and swallowed.
XHHH - Here one figure came into a dog's cock.
XHH - Guess how he decided to remove her from the waist...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №116563
 27.07.2015
This is:
Again, the eternal ovulations with the old-fashioned buds turned everything in their direction. Dad is bad, he dropped us out as a child, so we wipe our nose and pop until retirement and beyond. And all the men are goats in the primary!

Not everything in the primary. There are cows on other cars ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116562
 27.07.2015
Yesterday on the gay portal five people wrote in the face. After a long time of torture, she admitted that she was a girl. Two went away, three wished to get to know closer and more horizontal.
I once again believed that they only care about boys!
Mama, I don’t want to know what you did on the gay portal!
KHH: Generally speaking, there was a very interesting discussion of the models of the great, and I didn’t hold up.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116561
 27.07.2015
The guys are not working like that.
YYY: clarify
XXX: The Blue
How much is RGB?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116560
 27.07.2015
with geektimes, discussing network audiofile cable for $10,000:
xxx: The section should be sufficient and copper, not guano. I think everything else is evil until they prove the opposite.
For example, JREF has announced that it is ready to pay a million dollars to anyone who can distinguish an expensive cable from the usual. Something so far desired has not been found even among those who state that they unambiguously hear the difference, more air in the scene, outlined articulation, and so on.
YYY: Yeah, so why didn’t the desired ones be found? What’s there if you can’t guess?
zzz: Loss of the reputation of a specialist on virgin sores in electrolytes)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №116559
 27.07.2015
I decided to make a little blend. At the table with his wife and aunt.
Q: How many more hidden talents do you have?
I: Let go, just a couple of eggs.
An uncomfortable pause.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №116558
 27.07.2015
My son is crying. My husband is going to work. He comes out, dressed in yellow pants, a gray shirt, a black vest and a yellow collar with pandas. He looks at his son and says:
Son, what are you so serious about?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №116557
 27.07.2015
And then... oxygen. On the submarine, the submarines inhale the same air that they exhale, only the carbon dioxide is removed from it and, by the oxygen distributors, oxygen is added. 19 percent is strict. Not twenty-one, as in the atmosphere, but nineteen. Have you ever breathed nineteen percent oxygen? And the month? And two? And three? Imagine a body that has breathed twenty-five years of its life with twenty-one percent oxygen, and then Bach – and you are nineteen. In the air you breathe out, by the way, it is seventeen. Oh, well you think, two percent, all, some of you will say so. But when after a month of underwater position, you get up and breathe the air, then in the same second you become naturally drunk. Not in the sense that in shit, but as if a gram of two hundred vodka was terrified. You are standing, your feet are shaking, your fingers are trembling, and you smile like a fool and look around, and there are a hundred other fools around you who are smiling like you and looking at you like a fool. You say love.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116556
 27.07.2015
It is...


How then do I have a bathroom and a toilet in the different ends of the apartment in Khrushchev?
= = = = = = = = =
You do not have a chestnut.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №116555
 27.07.2015
How is our project?
The programmer: Drowned in the stream of new super-super-extra-mega-sock-term tasks that rush every day like the "balls" of a goat from under the tail.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116554
 27.07.2015
Normal people can always find a reason to drink, for example: just so.

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