Freedom to Belarus. The program includes the purchase of a European cigarette, smoking cigarettes in front of police officers, speech and WiFi access sessions without a passport.

Post in direct mail:

"Free holidays in Lake Baikal"

"In the lake", jutty.. pay for being thrown out of the boat into the lake :))

<Angelofnet> Tell me how to spend the Saturday day as relaxing as possible? To be psychologically stressed...
<alcospirt> Angelofnet, shells in the library.

topic on the forum: this is the question, has anyone cleaned himself laxative? You will probably get rid of the kg, how did you do it? What side effects?

Question: How many kilos the author plans to shed?

There is a town in Kirish, where a refinery and associated production flourish, and bald children grow. And they decided to build a cleaning plant in it, but according to the norms it cannot be built in settlements and nearby. On this occasion, the boundary of the city of Kirish was moved by a few kilometers in the direction of reduction.
And now today: the factory was built (or approved, I am not sure), the commission came, looked at everything and left... And the border of the city was returned))). Well, who will rework the cards, documents there what to agree, again, it is convenient. In general, the boundaries of the city, it turns out, you can move as you want and do nothing at all.

The girl was not delighted at all with such a turn of affairs, but began to argue heavily and climb with her fists to her savior. It turned out to be her husband’s mind! And she goes every night to meet him from duty so he doesn’t get drunk. He was a little late and was able to dress up. Since then, the comrade has given a pledge not to advocate for the girls.* is
and...
And before her faithful man was hit on the head, could this bullshit scream that she was the wife of that idiot? Chickens are chickens.

To all fans of the slogan "All the best - children" I want to remind you of a parable that was previously read in primary school:
This boy has a greedy mother. She will never let him eat a candy without sharing it with her!
Then the boy grew up, his mother grew old, and the same people began to say:
“This guy has a happy mother, he will never eat a piece without sharing it with her.
This is what we are talking about, and you with your screams will take away from yourself - I will give the child only to corrupt your children, growing out of them selfish and egocentric.

Lies: There was some insect flying around the hall at work, like a mosquito, but with an assy belly-back. Enough big enough.
I thought for a long time what it was and should it be feared, and then I remembered that there is a institute of cytology and genetics near us, and nuclear physics across the road. and struck. It will not be too much to fly.

A girl... a typical TP. struck two cars standing on the parking lot, dragging one of them 7 meters and stepping into another car. The owners at that time were relatively far from their cars. Good people called to report the incident. Talk to the girl:

How did it happen?
I was driving...
I have no more questions.

What speed did you drive?
20 to 30 km
What is BL?
Well, I don’t know, I don’t look at the spidometer.

After the cars were disassembled, traces of a tough paddle were found on the asphalt. Explanation: The girl continued to chew on the gas even when she got stuck in both cars.

Today I saw the love of my whole life...I didn’t bother her. May she be the love of my whole life.c) by Kotbayoun

(Talk about the town of Skopje)

xxx: I thought the name of our city in English was written stupidly.
But not. In French it is even better.
by Chtchiolkovo.
Practically a cuddle.

The Late:
The Week of Ornithologists (the battle between frogs and frogs) is announced!
------------
I got caught! Ornithologists have already exhausted, the turnaround is gaining, whispers about the fact that imported products will disappear (which have all been blasphemed recently) and a sophisticated scientific discussion about how to snack mercury with uranium fractures.

Do you know the dispute between layers and layers? I heard the bet today.

A long visit to relatives is when a aunt’s eldest son asks you where his cowards lie.

Open your own private kindergarten. You will collect $25 for yourself.
What a responsibility. Plus all these SanPin, SanEpidems and others.
Open a private underground kindergarten.
The first rule of an underground private kindergarten: don’t tell anyone about an underground private kindergarten.

About the screaming of TV: I heard, and as a child, and still (I am 26), if I miraculously encounter the old TV. And the ugly scream "ultrasonic scary pests" I hear. :) And no one dragged me to the psychiatrist - my dad, Ph.D., a Ph.D., a researcher, explained what a whistle it was. An appropriate psychiatrist should have done the same.
By the way, dad-physic is sometimes scary. For the night, I was not reading stories about the Red Hat, but told about the structure of the atom, how electricity works and what an atomic bomb is. It provided me with nightmares for my whole childhood. This is honestly, instead of nightmares about Baba Yaga. and :)

Oh, in general, today you need to bend the levels around your head, swim in the solution of concrete, shouting: "For the construction!" ", "I built for you for two years! " and so on.
Happy Builder’s Day to you, workers!! to

This is made of smart thoughts.
Tablets and when prepared
Take a handful of small.
and in the mouth

There was a post today about a new telephone, which works ONLY if the person who looks at it smiles - and constantly.
A special camera built into the TV monitors the face of the viewer. The man stopped smiling - end of viewing.

Well, let such calves in fools set up - only fools can constantly lick.

In the universe they put turnikets. If there is no pass and student, you need to name the reason for the visit. I saw this picture: two men come in:
Welcome to Dmitry Ivanovich.
The guard:
He is not now.
We do not need him!