Talk about stupid men’s jokes.

Thank God, my husband keeps my nerves.
But here colleagues, like all creative people, are rare...
I remember being the third child pregnant, bought my son on sale a spider that jumps if you press such a mini-pearl. brought to the editorial. Not specifically, I just came in and showed it. Destroyed the people. One took and fled.
Half an hour later, the second (young) rushes, throws before me and waits for a reaction. I say very calmly:
First, it is mine. Second, if it were NOT mine, would you really want to see a woman give birth? I have three days left!
This is where the man really fell ill!

A bad inheritance is when you are removed from a will.

The morning in the barracks predicted nothing fun - divorce, political occupation.
The order was broken by the captain himself when he entered and whispered:
Build a company!
He was clearly not in spirit.

The course of the young fighter was completed and there was a sorting - who to go.
Suffering, the rotting looked at the personal composition.
The sports row is in the regiment. Whoever has a sports discharge is out of order!

The crew trembled and three came out, although there were clearly more secret athletes.
I also went out myself, I don’t know why, the devil probably went out.
The captain looked evaluatively - the two fighters did not cause doubts, but decided to clarify about me:
The boxer?
Jumping with the 6th, 1st class!
Suddenly I got rid of it, so I suddenly wanted to go to the sports roulette.

It was registered immediately, not even in the personal affairs for some reason.
The white fox suddenly stumbled in the form of a division spartakiad.
And it should have happened that the jumps with six were in the program.
They commanded there, and I have to admit, I am a chess player and I do not know the sixth at all.
The path to retreat has been cut off, you have to jump, where to go.
Here is a magical moment. At the tribune, the entire headquarters of the division, the city stadium.

I was sitting in the dressing room and swallowed something, magnetic chess got.
I sit down and guess. Approximately an hour remains until the presentation.
This compilation includes:
and Smyrna!
Free to you, soldiers.

It fits me, and I just divided the position.
What do you have here, warrior?
- Lovely Endspil, Comrade Colonel
Polkan is looking closely at the position.
What do you think?
On the board is Barbie-Saavedra.
The easy way to win the white, Comrade Colonel.
The colonel thought.
Do you see the possibility of rescue for black people here?
Not at all!
Have you thought well? Take the board and walk after me!

We spent the whole evening cutting Colonel in the blitz.
The next day, the divorce was ordered.
“For outstanding results in light athletics.”

In fact, doctors are a group of crazy people who maniacally try to deprive themselves of their jobs by healing everyone. And only the wise policy of the Ministry does not allow these unhappy people to remain without means of subsistence.

Status from the Orange Network:

Friends tomorrow my daughter will start the first exam in Russian, let’s wish her good luck and hold your fists for us.

Oh yeah, more fingers click there =)) Mom got paid off at the time, so at least don't pump now)

With Khabr on testing Korean MMORPG.

Bug-report: “Let the magic for the night of AFC fishing. There was a discount due to the change of the IP address by the provider. In the morning, he could not enter, throwing the login in the window when trying to connect to the server.
The people in the game said that my charm is online and continues to fish.”

Tester: We really couldn’t figure out what the problem was, the player has repeatedly done so. They were already thinking of putting a monument there, or asking the Koreans to do a quest with the NPC Ghost Fisherman with the name of the player.

For a very long time and carefully choosing a house for the city, believe me, the phrase "experimental materials" means "from shit and sticks"

What if the wave stops running?
Chapter 22: The Young Man. There are serious people on the Oasis. And to imagine a situation when a bunch of iron suddenly turned out to be stronger than these people, I personally, as UAZovod, can not imagine.
YURY K: Agas, especially new, with modern control systems - able to beat not only the owner, but also a couple or three car services

correspondence with the head of a multi-child NGO.
What are you hysterizing?
He gave me 300 pounds of moral damage after the accident.
Moral damage or forced standstill?
As if standing.
How much did he cost?
and a month.
- That is, with this statement to the court, the miracle man is written in that before the accident with you, a chicken with many children, who did not get to present a lawsuit to roadmen, that in the accident was caught by their fault, he actually earned 300,000, and in the tax showed 5 tickets a day?
Apparently so, and what?
- I have, you understand, friends-journalists who in this place let the saliva down to the floor...

She is a shit, she is angry! Why are all the banners on the sites correctly determining my location, offering to fucking all the beauties of the city of Chornomorsk right here and without registration?! Will the fucking aviator remember that I am not from Khabarovsk?! to

"Sberbank will use drones to deliver cash to remote offices"

Zzz: Suffers a friend, a Sberbank copter will fall on your garden.

From the website of the home appliance store:
In the house lives a Siberian cat, and this robot vacuum cleaner desperately does not make our dreams come true to open an IP or LLC for the sale of natural wool products.

Comments to the article "Media unusual red flashes in the windows of the White House":
111: Have you broken up with the ritual of the challenge?
222: The usual effect of teleportation. It was Trump who moved to the Kremlin, following instructions and back.

Wut: What a great coat. I wore it all summer in 2017.

British scientists have found that children inherit intellectual abilities on the mother’s line
- I told my wife about an American woman who fell asleep on the American millionaire on the question "What’s more?" even when there were two options - "The Moon" or "The Elephant".
Porzhali, and she says, “Well, stupid, of course, an elephant.”
And when I told her the terrible truth, she thought I was crazy and called the eldest son with the same question.)))
In short, either the children are not from me, or British scientists

With whom would you like to go to a restaurant of celebrities, no matter with those now alive or already dead.
With Scarlett Johansson. With the dead.

Do you want to not count money, but to chew them, without refusing anything to yourself? Do you want the girls to love you, the waitresses to cuddle in front of you, the table in the chic hotel to break off with delicacies and expensive drinks? Then you to us. Bank "Fortress Law" will give you a loan of up to 10 million rubles under 700% of the annual and will make these three days unforgettable

I live in an apartment with a friend. I hear him talking in the hallway with his girlfriend who just came:

She: Remember, I said that I saw a yellow dress in the store that I liked?
He is: Well?
She: Well, I went to buy it today, but it turned out that I had too little money with me.
(a few unclear phrases)
He said: Stop! You went to buy a yellow dress, you found too little money and you bought another, but more expensive?

Who needs to get a stamp for life because of banal depression and apathy?

What is banal depression and apathy? This is usually a headache for a lifetime.

Google employees were surprised to find a surge in requests "translate from German to Ukrainian". The original was almost the same: "Hochly, what are you there, all fucking?".

Then they read the news. And they found one from the Verkhovna Rada: "The German Chancellor Angela Merkel is obliged to come to Ukraine, repent there for the crimes of the Third Reich and bring money with her."