bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №116473
 24.07.2015
I thought you were drawing the star.
To receive us in October
Here you are more interesting.
The Rite

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116472
 24.07.2015
Then came the neighbor who was in front of me. Thick, with Alabamas and Tajiks. He says, put a fence so that the neighbors do not envy and unintentionally do not smooth. The Green! Three meters! I say, so now the fence will be jealous - no one has three-meter fencing.
He left so upset that it was time to catch up and offer to build a fence around the fence.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116471
 24.07.2015
In the morning dressed in a new dress, but before leaving the house realized that the cowards had chosen not the most suitable. She went to the closet, got the other trousers, threw them on her shoulder, went to the bathroom. On the way, I was distracted by a telephone conversation. In general, I went with cowards hanging on my shoulder.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116470
 24.07.2015
X: I have a beautiful white shirt hanging in my closet for a year, wearing only once on a big holiday.
X: sad to wear, brandy, wear quickly
X: found her a replacement for another cool shirt. With great discount.
X: Now I have two cool shirts hanging in my closet, which is a pity to wear :(

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116469
 24.07.2015
xxx: Immediately you can see - I work in an information technology company.
Instead of pay, we sit and wait for information about salary.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №116468
 24.07.2015
They buy things that are not in their pocket and are not especially needed for life. The type to take the last merce in credit and all 5 years is wide and on paying for parking to save.
Poverty is not a defect

thank you? The last? In credit for 5 (Five!!?) Years? → There is no such misery in you; there is no such misery.

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The fact that a man rides a Bentley doesn’t mean he has money. He may have spent a whole month.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116467
 24.07.2015
xxx: What do we say about reinstalling Windows?
YYY: Not today

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116466
 24.07.2015
Serginio: Here I was swallowed when I was driving home!
Krosha: What happened?
Serginio: Yes, I’m going to Volgograd for the Ranjik, his number is 555, and it seemed to me that he was dumb. I bypass it, rebuild back - I found myself behind the vase with the number 554... the first thought is that, I need to overtake 554 cars to get home?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116465
 24.07.2015
Ladies and gentlemen forever!
Here from NASA news came that in the constellation of the Swan there is an exoplanet in the habitable zone and probably with liquid water. So let’s finally decide which of the unpleasant ones will whistle onto another globe and unite with the good purpose of bringing them there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116464
 24.07.2015
And yes, dogs don’t just attack. They need to see their superiority and be in a mood. I personally, if (once and twice in my life) I went to places where there were clums of dogs, I was careful and there were never conflicts. And if you behave in a dangerous place like a fool and also look like a victim, the dogs feel it.
You probably are constantly whining - they are also like dogs - feel.


I went to fuck, muddle. I have to be careful in a city where people live, because my behavior may not be liked by some dogs? Oh thou shut.

That’s why you, fucking animal defenders, normal people don’t like it. Because you put animals above people, and you don’t care about people.

So cleaning the city from dangerous wild creatures is a good thing. And if the authorities, going to the fools, do not scratch on human methods, the people will take the matter into their own hands and will be right.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116463
 24.07.2015
I thought so until the cat escaped from me. He now lives in the courtyard, when he meets, pretending to be a stranger. No one tortured her, she was smoothed, fed, served with a snack. Is that what she lacked?

Freedom and Sex.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116462
 24.07.2015
“And what? And suddenly?” he encouraged himself as he was about to float through the MCAD.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №116461
 24.07.2015
I approached the buff and asked about tax deductions. She: Yes, yes, here we go, and she gives me the bestselling book “Tax Code”... I said, OK, thank you!
After a day she comes and says: here I have something with the computer happened, I can't understand the word, I tell her - no problems, we will help, and I get the book "Office for beginners" from the closet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №116460
 24.07.2015
It is dangerous to drive without a belt - a penalty... with the headlights off is also dangerous - a penalty... children without a child's seat can not - a penalty... And the fact that the roads hole a meter per meter - it is normal, it does not affect the safety of traffic!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116459
 24.07.2015
If a girl is "happy", then why mother it? And in general, if the husband is not of value and even not of forgetfulness, what prevents him from saying without any hassle "Do not curl more, please"?

And, you know, there is a joke about an old man and an old lady who lived together for a long time. The old lady, who very much loved the upper half of the bread, for her husband's care always gave him these "best" parts (although he did not ask), and she ate the lower. On the next anniversary, she thinks "No, no longer, I'm going to go off at least today" and took the upper one. The old man was delighted and grateful - he loved the bottom part of his life, but as a true gentleman, he did not object that his wife took the "best" from his point of view. Both of them were so careful, self-abandoned.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116458
 24.07.2015
XHH: Another question. I accidentally propelled the proton to a super-light speed and it began to move in time in the opposite direction. How will it differ from other protons? What’s wrong with his weak interaction?

WOW: The proton had an imaginary mass/ ceased to exist. Along with the protons ceased to exist and the surrounding universe, because to boost the protons to the super-light speed you had to spend an infinite (all that was) energy, plus to overcome the light barrier you are a couple of yotawatt twisted by four parallel universes. Collectors have already heated the neutrinos and have gone after you.

And after all these problems (proton failed, the universe no longer exists, collectors on the threshold), disconnection with weak interaction, this is the least thing that should worry you in such a situation.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116457
 24.07.2015
I can’t tolerate all kinds of world championships.
XHHH: Potting the menta at every step
xxxh: Today I’m going, I’m turning around the corner, and there’s mint. He pulled his belt, but he wasn’t. The universe, the panic!
The realization that I was on a trolleybus didn’t come right away.
In a year there will be a football championship, I’m going to go crazy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116456
 24.07.2015
Are they smoking tea? I tried it in the first class.
We smoked the falling leaves. The dwarfs were the strongest.
Are you able to distinguish the fortress? I have never moved beyond these two lengths. I’m not sure if it was a lengthy.
I was a gourmet. Then really beat the belt.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №116455
 24.07.2015
They borrowed. Until 1917, it was possible to buy a gun in a pet store to protect against dogs. And you, the ballooners, have not yet stumbled on the dogs that are fooled at your ballooners. While you scratch one in the mouth, the other bites you a pen at the elbow. Do you have no internet? The "Stand Dogs Bite" The people in the majority are not against the houses, but for the elimination of the adulterous herds. They advise here to look puzzled, so that a bunch of angry, running after a liquid dog, was frightened by the brutal appearance of a steep fighter with dogs. You don’t bite your relatives when they come back from school in the evening. Two years ago, two boys were bitten to death, this year a healthy man. And not just broken, but eaten, one head and a shoe remained. Defenders are fucking.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116454
 24.07.2015
We have all the artists who paint this way because the rich only buy such paintings. One is drawing such spots, the other will depict some incomprehensible spots, the third will pour a liquid paint into the pelvis and get enough of it in the middle of the canvas, so that there will be some silly, meaningless spot. You look at that spot and you can’t understand anything – it’s just the ugliness of something! And the rich look and even praise. We, they say, do not need the picture to be understandable. We don’t want an artist to teach us anything. A rich man without an artist understands everything, and a poor man does not need to understand anything. He is a poor man, so that he can understand nothing and live in darkness.

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