bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116373
 22.07.2015
A "I want to wash laundry" - is it actually how?
________________
While the stationary computer was alive, I had a second SIMS, the licensed one, but with a bunch of all kinds pumped out of the network, the dooolgo-дооolgo was loaded, well, in order to save my nerves, I started loading and went to wash dishes, just about the time needed. Then something sneaked in the compass and the discs stopped reading. When my mother asked me in the evening why I forgot to wash dishes today, although I always did it on my own initiative, she was clearly not ready to answer the question.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116372
 22.07.2015
That guy annoys me.
He called her a dinosaur.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116371
 22.07.2015
You can be called "unusual and different", you can sit in the evening at the tea ceremony, go out to dance salsa at night, and in the morning you come to the office and continue to write the tests to the project.
xxx: And if N doesn't know what she wants, not the constitution, not the whole stuff with the shit (c), I have to read my thoughts, and of all the answers, I don't know, come up with something - then she's not unusual, but just an infantile child.
xxx: I don't even want to present her in my bed, it hurts to pedophilia (

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116370
 22.07.2015
[13:04] aaaaaaaa: in addition, there black hill jihadists chase as they hit, according to rumors
[13:10] b bbbbb: Yes, according to rumors in the Dominican Republic, I was supposed to die of cholera first, then be robbed by Haitians, and then get involved in a Jigita car crash.
[13:11] b bbbbb: so here, after the warnage - shit all

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №116369
 22.07.2015
Harry Potter, in my opinion, in the last part showed himself as a typical Russian: one of the gifts of Death (the butterfly stick) broke, the other (the resurrection stone) lost. The fate of the third person at some point becomes unknown.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №116368
 22.07.2015
I work in a shop on VDNH selling everything for gardeners.Summer, silence (drivers in the villages) comes in a man and asks: "Do you have a vibrator for a crochet?" the seller, melancholy: "And what, is he bored?"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116367
 22.07.2015
From a big tracker. The topic about the fact that Cortana (voice assistant – Microsoft Apple's and Google's response) will not be available in Russian:
XX: Has Russian humor been silenced?
YYY :
Want to know the weather forecast for tomorrow?
User: Yes probably not.
Tagged with: crazy

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116366
 22.07.2015
Well, it is important to understand the underlying - once a man from an anecdote even subdued a man so that he fell at the cotton door, his wife all his life criticized not for the mythical "strenuousness", but because of his rare idioticness, due to which absolutely everything was done, and she had to explain and chew everything twenty times. So happiness will not come out - the handle will not survive on its own, and the promptly taken second wife, even if she is an angel in the flesh, will also be forced to shake him and explain everything twenty times.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116365
 22.07.2015
On Avito found an advertisement for the sale of a cat, 1,5 minutes stuck on the description:
Deforested...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116364
 22.07.2015
by Fuck! Creator of Fucks! Open GOST choose the most drilling screw from the most drilling alloy, write it in the documentation, and when the Russian Federation will be looking for you this one, tell you that you can replace it with any other, the same length.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116363
 21.07.2015
boomol391: what’s new? As a family?
We are going down to the level of the smaller brothers.
bogomol391; what is it?
I came home from a food store. A cat and a young man meet me. The cat - the legs are rubbed, the younger - the legs are grabbed. He fed the cat – he sits licking his legs... he gave the younger chocolate – he sits licking his fingers. The cat fell asleep where it fell, the younger nearby rolls.
bogomol391: well, can he learn something good from the cat? They are pure.
Tronus: It is so. But I look at something like the cat licking its eggs...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116362
 21.07.2015
- I am 100 times eating, and the feeling that I stand, I want to smoke out.
You know this is self-deception.
of course. I never go out to smoke.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116361
 21.07.2015
My new neighbors in the country have two cats "sphinx", a red cat, and a gray cat.
Periodically I come to the country to repair the car, and always the neighbor's grey
At this moment, the cat jumps under the cap on the engine and watches my work.
So the cat has a second name - "Gray, give the key to 13!".
The man! Regardless of the cat.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116360
 21.07.2015
The year 94 was - still lived in Russia. I sit at home – I clean the gasoline, Walter PP, I don’t touch anyone. A bell at the door. Well, I’m going to open, and I picked up the gun machinefully with me (without intention, really).
And on the threshold such a smiling young man - looks me straight in the eyes and so with enthusiasm: Hello! My name is Nikita! I am a Christian! Do you care about God?(During this speaking, his gaze descends below, below... - stumbles on a gun... Pause)
I see you are not interested, thank you, goodbye.
p.s And why is he so — I may have just wondered...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116359
 21.07.2015
FFF guys!
FFF: Who is in Touch?

Zzz: I tell him about energy levels in quantum theory, and he...
zzz: well goo

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116358
 21.07.2015
We have managed to buy a batch of cystics, the serialists of which are not included in the cystic itself).

And yes, go to Yuh with your weddings, your ovulations, and your socks.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116357
 21.07.2015
Lardo: I picked out candy from the child yesterday. I think from now on I am an official certified supporter of the forces of evil. Therefore, I ask that you give me the number of young virgins and livers!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116356
 21.07.2015
(Everyone is on vacation, the server is still)
- Fuck, without loading, the server N works straight very sharply.
What was removed from him?
and people.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116355
 21.07.2015
Eat your mother, men, if the babies are such brain fucking disgusting unbarred creatures from the planet Venus, and you are not such, go and collect a petition in support of same-sex marriages, live with each other. The brains are whole, the baby water as much as you want - the man of the man will understand, the money in the family from both sides is steadily flowing without decrees... although someone, besides yourself, will do well, and yourself well.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116354
 21.07.2015
I am no longer a red woman. I am brunette again.

And my scalp is brunette. The brunette ears. The bathroom brunette. all brunettes

I can paint, yes.

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