in the Maldives. The second week on the island, we came to our favorite restaurant. The same waitress, who always served us, blinked at me and asked in pure Russian: Aunt Faya? I am deceived, I say no. In the extreme case, Aunt Lena))) He doesn’t get up: Aunt Faia! I even more irritatedly deny my involvement with my unknown aunt Faye. Suitable manager, a European, in good English interested in the number of our villa. The answer is thirty five (thirty five). The waiter threatens me with a finger and says joyfully: Aunt Faia!

Russian tourists arrived in Germany. They go around the city and go to all the shops in a row, accidentally went to the cleaning house. They start to look at the clothes, sample... They say in German, “Will you help?” And they said in English, “No, thank you! We just look!”

In China, they went to buy tampons. There was no such thing in the conversation. explained by gestures. The provider gave us a box. It was a picture of how to use it. They scratched like crazy - they were anal candles.

Yyy: When I was trying to buy tampons in China, I was brought earsticks. But my friend, when she tried to explain about the tampons with gestures, brought a phalloimiter.

zzz: My girlfriend there (in China) also intended to buy a diaper. So they brought her...

In the late nineties, it was fashionable to give birth abroad. My wife decided to give birth in Germany. I did not know German. I learned a few phrases. And since she was frightened that the Germans were almost wrong, immediately sent to Caesarean, she also learned "NO CUT, PLEASE" She gave birth for the first time, little experience. When it all started, I forgot everything. And when I saw that they were calling someone, and a huge German came in with snacked sleeves, and the hands were still like that, all in red hair... I thought, well, the butcher is a surgeon. Reason has stunned. So she instead of teaching him “Don’t cut,” shouted “Don’t shoot, please.” After a long time, the staff went to see her in the room.

My wife and a Dutch man came to Paris. settled in the hotel. The husband enters the number one and immediately runs out of there with the scream "The corpse, well the corpse, the corpse!!!" Girlfriend pick up suitcases and tick through the corridor (Russian hardening). He was caught in the hallway. It turns out, in the Dutch "body" - a mess. My husband was upset by the number.

Do not rush to answer, you will be smarter.

Closed on the keyboard

American missiles in Europe are devoted

The Introduction. In the late 1990s, the Ministry of Defense massively reduced the army. Since many of the captains and majors dismissed in the reserve were aged only 37-42 years and were very active (despite 100% grey), they were sent to small business opening courses (there is such a specialist in marketing and small business in Tula - Tsitko Yu.A., it is a pity that he now went to the deputies - was able to teach and results: one of the men so created the whole market in the end!) And something failed me at the same time: I set up to teach them how to compile their business plans on a computer and print them. By the way, former operators of nuclear ballistic missile controls and air defense forces did not treat the study as civilian: if the instructor said, "Tomorrow come at 9am and do the next thing," they will come and until they do - they will not leave.

Part is funny. Then another morning. The gray-like "uncle" fucks with the computer, looks for something on the keyboard (and the machines we had were brand-name, very non-standard and in general and in particular). I thought, "Seek - find" and lightheartedly walked around the business center for his business. I come after two hours: the weary "uncle" is no longer looking, he just sits, looks at the keyboard and it is obvious that it is ready to break it into spare parts, together with the entire US government. I run, lay on my hand, calm with all my strength. I ask, “What happened?” he replies: “These... fools... likely opponents... a claw... on the keyboard... stumbled... somewhere...” (mother words and expressions I miss). It turns out that the keyboard was incorrectly marked with the Russian spat, and instead of slicking all the keys in order without a shift, and then with a shift and finding which keyboard is the Russian spat, he looked for it with his eyes. She did not come from there! He did not want to switch to English in principle – the language of the enemy!

Part is sad. At their graduation, I remembered this case – to say, fun! And someone else explained to me, “I sat in the catacombs at a depth of 100 meters for fifteen years. And every day he fired all the missile launches and low-flying targets. At the same time, I knew that if necessary, I would press that damned button without thinking. And after that, the enemy’s retaliatory fire will block my way up forever. How can I switch to their tongue for a spell? And how can I lick the buttons that have fallen?"This is the sad story with the grey on the whiskers.

If you want to know a person, don’t listen to what others say about him, listen to what he says about others.

Discussion of the story "The Matrix"
XXX: From a man in general a bad battery, as cool as it is. In the place of robots, I would grow electrical shells. They have an output voltage up to kilovolt, and the CPD is higher, but the matrix with soma is a fig plot for cinema.

From the site Ask.ru:

Who was your hero in childhood? Why is?
and Chippolino. It was he who made it clear that tears and tears should be of those who bite you, not the opposite.
by Kay

Why in the bank, when issuing a card, ask the girl's mother's name?
YYY: They are calculating.

Now the average salary in Russia is 42.8 thousand rubles, this is statistics, this is facts!
Yyy: The average hospital temperature is 36.6 degrees. According to statistics, everyone is healthy if you put together the temperatures of morga customers and patients with heat in sweat and divide equally.

I bombed this weather.! to
I wake up in the morning and it rains on the street. Well, I think, go into the car and to work, not to walk! I look out the window and there are no machines. There are no keys and no documents. And a dad is sitting at work and thinking: who gets up early, he has the keys to the car, the documents and the car itself!

And my cat begins eating with the ritual of washing eggs.

Conversation of two technicians:
xxx: throw, was today at the client, he doesn’t know what a goffra is)))
yyy : ) )
yyy: it's still a fist, today I tried half a day to prove to myself that the siphon and the mixer are different things))
xxx: rofl

It is dedicated to genes.

My brother is now convinced that I am a dead drug addict.
YYY :?? to
The doctor prescribed a pill for my sick stomach. They are very large and do not pass through the throat. Instead of breaking them into several pieces, I decided to crush them in a teaspoon. I forgot to drink after dinner. I stand at 2 o’clock at night in the kitchen a 20-year-old girl weighing 40 kg with a teaspoon full of white powder and comes in brother. Silently watching the picture. And I will take it and cry out, and say, ‘Brothers, do you have jiga?’ has gone...

I wanted to somehow encourage the guy to charm him with his mystery and mystery. I tried to do everything for that. Looking to the side, no emotions, smooth and gentle walking on the floor of the fingers... as I thought, everything was great. And I approach him all this mysterious and say:"Hello".He answers:"Hello... did you drink anything?"

An angry employee of the gastronomist broke the bank of the out-of-date chrenoder the head of a civil activist.

That’s what I know – the passion!
of Novosibirsk.

RT @taviscaron: There was an old configurator - gluous and terrible. made a new. God, how beautiful was the old configurator!

“This Norwegian terrorist was taken away from a separate wing in a prison, with a gym, a cabinet and a yard.
How much do you need to kill a man for that?