bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №18074
 12.07.2009
<Sun> Today in the mentorship showed on the compil photos of suspects and previously detained. I see, and there is a picture of the opera that shows them to me. The dog...

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №18073
 12.07.2009
What are your plans for the weekend?
Ivan: gjrf yt rfrb[ yj levfk yf ktlybrjdsq gthbjl pfdnhf c[jlbnm xfcbrjd yf 9
Ivan: not yet
You are shrinking

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №18072
 12.07.2009
Cole: Listen, Satan and Lucifer are the same thing?

Secretary: kill your fucking apsten and ask the satan yourself!He is nice, he will understand, and I am at 4 a.m.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №18071
 12.07.2009
by sex chat
Oh, I came here by accident!
M+M is looking for J: and I!
Rough for the bottom: Well, of course!
The slave is looking for the mistress: I am also mistaken!
The owner of the lead: Well, gentlemen, I was completely wrong.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №18070
 12.07.2009
Yamaneko: By the way.
Yamaneko: We have an aircraft car on board here in the city.
Yamaneko: Today I saw a car with drawn Predators passing by her
Yamaneko: We are waiting for a confrontation :)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №18069
 12.07.2009
I went home by bus. In a blockade of nothing to do, he began to read the newspaper held by an elderly woman sitting in front of me. It was called the newspaper Talisman, apparently writing about all supernatural nonsense. Under the photo of Stonehenge, sprinkled from somewhere from the network (in the corner small, so it wasn’t printed as it should be, there was copywriting), a article that began with the words “Canada has its own Stonehenge, this was assured by Professor Gordon Freeman.”

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №18068
 12.07.2009
sealle ‎(12:16):
I played cards in the universe for two and a half days in the group.
The game was very difficult - you draw a black or red card - and the result.
The rule is one: if it is red, it means I won, you lost. And if black means you lost, I won.
The second was catastrophically unlucky... Despite the fact that the whole group was already rolling on the floor from the constant repetition of the saying...

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №18067
 12.07.2009
Do you have cable TV?
and yes.
And from which company? I am sure we can make the best offer...
Torrent RU
Sorry...

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №18066
 12.07.2009
A healthy interest in alcohol is better than an unhealthy interest in health.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №18065
 12.07.2009
Despite the persistent advice to write from the first person, I can’t.
To get rid of the feeling of being a plagiarist.
So I will tell you how it is. This story happened to my friend.
Often depending on anecdote.ru.
First the joke, then the story.
Putin on line:
I just got a good question on the internet:
“Didn’t you, Vova, answer anonymous questions on the Internet?”
I answer this question to the owner of IP (such one), host (such one),
provider (such one) Ivanov Sergey Vasilyevich, residing in Lipetsk,
in Ivanovskaya, house 13/2.
It did not fall!

Once, my friend was reading an anecdote at the same time, and the other window was
Opened by Kremlin.ru When he told me in this place, I was amazed:
In the H? It turned out, announced the video blog of D.M. Medvedev and he became
I wonder if you understand. At that moment, he read a story that he
Two Ukrainian brothers and one Russian passport.
In Moscow, police officers are more selective and carefully checked.
The Russians. On the question “why,” mentions explain that a foreigner without
Registration can be in Moscow for 3 months, and the Russians in the capital
Only three days from home. Well, a friend does not think long copying this.
History on the Kremlin.ru either in letters or in appeals to the President.
He added, “It is the truth.
“Isn’t it funny?” or “Isn’t it funny?”

I sent it on Friday and forgot it, and on Monday it gets it in my box.
Outlook (a gift from a connection provider) that you never
Uses a letter - thinks of information from the provider. and there...

To such a citizen Takayevich Edakovsky, yes, it is funny.
Representative of the Department for Work with Applications of Citizens, etc.

Just think about what thoughts are born and born in a person’s head.
receiving such a letter from the Administration of the President of the Russian Federation: change
remove Outlook, reinstall Windows, burn passport,
urgently apply to change the green card for citizenship (you know what),
to reserve an apartment, borrow a passport from a brother, etc.
In one word, the classic is “to reach the Canadian border.”

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №18064
 12.07.2009
And then we went to the ZAGS and informed the state that
We sleep together...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №18063
 12.07.2009
I can’t watch porn movies :(
Are you sick of them?
They are not opened!and ((

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №18062
 12.07.2009
XXX: The Prize
XXX: In August
Fuck me, but now.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №18061
 12.07.2009
Seminar of the Union of Chemicals:
Dear colleagues, we have been asked for help with a very important question ***. In fact, the problem is this: they want to build a refinery. There’s a place under the factory, there’s funding...but there’s no oil! Help as you can.
and??? O_O

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №18060
 12.07.2009
The BVR:
Hi to you!

Sleeping_Forest
Oh well!

Sleeping_Forest
How easy is the service?

The BVR:
I eat and watch anime.

Sleeping_Forest
What! 0___0 0

Sleeping_Forest
Are you in the army or where? 0___0 0

The BVR:
In the army, in the VVD.

Sleeping_Forest
You sit down and watch anime...I also want to go to the army!! to

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №18059
 12.07.2009
And I took the exams in classical form at school and I am sure it was right. At least all of the ratings matched knowledge, not the ability to write down or luck. Only in school did teachers know each student before the pain knew what assessment to draw him. Also in the universe. For me, the best exam is when the teacher takes your leaflet, puts it aside and asks you to understand the basic things. And the written form of examinations on technical subjects is PTU (or college, if you like it). A skilled engineer does not have to remember any intergro-differential equation or the literal formulation of the law. And the more unnecessary will be the ability to write with the spheres. But the understanding of the basics, as well as the ability to independently receive and process information - this is the true higher education. Therefore, usually people who are able to understand the subject in 3-4 days are much more successful than those who have foolishly done everything over the course of a semester. And as for the biased relationships, apologize for the rude, but this nihua does not paint you. Every job does not require a genius, but simply a literate person with whom to work. If a man has a teacher, he will have a boss. All people are different and you need to be able to find a common language and this is also a function of education.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №18058
 11.07.2009
Today, my mother asked me to bring her a swab from the balcony. I am not difficult. has brought. Mom looked out the window. Sadly so breathed "The weather is not summer" says. I went to the balcony...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №18057
 11.07.2009
A woman writes to me in ask:
Daphne, what will you surprise me today?
She: I don’t know... Well, we’re leaving the cat in the apartment.
I: O_o
Whoever leaves it, he prepares the dinner.
I: It’s not that you’ve been wearing jeans this morning... It feels fucking 😉

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18056
 11.07.2009
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Always and always. what?
xxx: Where is the item "Get off with your updates"?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18055
 11.07.2009
I have a bad habit - when I sew something, I put the needle next to me in the couch so as not to lose... So today, at 6 a.m. sewing my shirt before work, I didn't have time to realize that I was sitting on the inflatable bed =(((

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna