bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116313
 20.07.2015
is right!
It is better to drink your husband's brains for a socket lying not on a feng shui, to blend the remnants for a dirty plate with a mixer, which resulted - to drink through a tube, reporting for an undernourished dinner, and when the husband decides to escape - to count in his back that #all-nothing and #real-nothing left.
by *****
It is wrong!
Better day by day to collect scattered dirty underwear from the floor, to collect and wash all dirty dishes, to perform even elementary self-service actions for a capable person (after their work shift, of course).

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116312
 20.07.2015
I sit in the plane, the commander before taking off:
"Flight time 4 hours 10 minutes excluding traffic jams".

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116311
 20.07.2015
"Championship among disabled people in chess" (c) Vetta Television Company.
Should I participate too? I am a disabled chess player.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №116310
 20.07.2015
I remember the story, 20 years ago. Village on the river Kostroma. Grandfather then put homemade pots on fish. Large cells such as those of the bars were descended into the water. And one day he sends my 14 and 9 year old brothers to check the pots. 2 km by bicycle along the trail in the forest. Not two hours, not three. The parents worried. 4 hours no - the mother has a quiet panic, 5 hours - hysteria. Grandfather goes on foot to look for the fireplace. After an hour they finally appeared. Now their story.

Arrived on the river. In one bowl a small fish. Here is the second half-meter. They pulled the pot on the shore. need to deliver. The elderly hand swings, that she should be caught for the frogs, and she falls off, there are teeth. Suffered and suffered. The old man said, Let’s kill her. They took a bagel and decided to knock through the bowl. and ah. and Bagrom.
Well, the shuka was not killed, but the bagger... attention... stuck. The painting with oil, a huge bowl, and no less huge, spinning bowl and a living tooth-like creature. I decided to load it on a bicycle. Naturally the fucking. They pulled the baggage. It happened somewhere in an hour. This is an infection, a life. I had to load the pot on a large and go to the house on foot. In the middle of the way, their grandfather caught them, dirty, tired, hungry. They did not crack, they ate the squid.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №116309
 20.07.2015
xxx: Financial situation: I steal pens from government institutions.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №116308
 20.07.2015
Not so long ago I was coming home from the universe on a trolleybus. A heavy backpack full of books. The transport was quite empty, but all seats were occupied. Suddenly I felt a sharp discomfort and weakness. At the same time trying to remove the backpack from the back and clinging to the order not to fall. I turned to the person sitting in the nearest seat with a polite request to let me sit because I was sick. The young man sitting there exploded an angry and obscene tirade on the subject that just because I have a female reproductive organ between my legs it is not a reason for all men to jump off the seats when I appear and stand on the floor in front of me. And in general, men are more tired because they work, rather than suck all day. He had just begun to give an irresistible argument that he had bought the ticket for the same money and would therefore sit where he would like, as I was sick right on his head. And then I fell from above, with a book-packed backpack that I had already held in front of me at that moment. I’ve been poisoned, it happens. And the guy about the ticket is right, he bought it for the same money, but I think it is unfair to give me a place to him at that time would be cheaper.

[ + 20 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116307
 20.07.2015
I hear the edge of my ear on EuroSport "the mountains of France. It will not be easy with the printer here". Then it came out that it was about sprinters.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №116306
 20.07.2015
Paradoxes of History:
The battleful atheism of the Bolsheviks was replaced by the battleful Orthodoxy of the Chekists.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №116305
 20.07.2015
to this:
3Jlou_CTpeJlok: for sale, genetic code cheap... shipping, installation free :)))))
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Will there be technical support?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116304
 20.07.2015
When boys just start to break their voices, girls already know how to break. by Konaarm.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116303
 20.07.2015
It was a story about a lawyer, a dirty wall, and an expensive telephone. I have a friend from a kindergarten. Chicken is good but honest. and divorced. And, as is required by law and human conscience, half of the earnings... namely the apartment in the center of the city. The Court. On the part of a former bunch of angry relatives, and an important mastite lawyer in horned glasses with a leather portfolio. On my friend’s side, I’m alone, in modest jeans and a shirt. At the court, the relatives conspired for a long time to push speeches, the lawyer shook in a hurry with the back-number donation contract. The contract is clearly lip, but how to prove it? I nervously broke through the contract sheets, looking for something to do. Very unexpected for the other side. For the court, and even for myself, I asked the only question that made everyone stupid. The Lord! And where did the computer, and the main printer for printing this contract in 1998??? A lost look, an unclear lawyer's silence, and a won case!
By the way. I am not a lawyer. I am a nurse.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №116302
 20.07.2015
I went with a girl to the same kindergarten in the same group, in the school in the same class, in the college in the same group... in classmates I look - she is 27 years old, and I am 38.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №116301
 20.07.2015
You know, my wife, of course, is beautiful, smart, with good taste, cheerful, with a sense of humor, not lazy, but the most I appreciate in her is not all, but that she is not scandalous. If we have some disagreement, there, someone’s dishes are unwashed or socks are lying, we look at each other and ask, well, let’s find out who’s to blame, or just fix what’s wrong? The choice is quite simple.
And most surprisingly, I had several girls before the wedding, but I never met such non-scandalous ones.
Think about it if you are dissatisfied with another person for some reason.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116300
 20.07.2015
As from my description of the plot (more precisely, the absence of one) it was understood that this is exactly what I need - this is not known either to me or to him. Enlightenment is no different.
— — — —
In 1986, a group of students (on potatoes in the collage) played guessing. I guessed famous people. Asked questions and received yes/no.
One round of the game looked like this:
A man? and yes.
The singer? and yes.
by KIKABIDZ? and correctly.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116299
 20.07.2015
Xxx: Idiot Kycook
Yyy: Maybe he just has an alternative sense of humor?
XXX: and no brain in the alpha-pneumatic meat

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116298
 20.07.2015
Does this concern you? You are not a parishioner, as I understand, and you do not carry money to church.
— — — —
I am not the author of the previous quote. But not a parishioner. But both direct payments of the RPC and indirect (a type of tax savings) come from my pocket. So I wear. If any religious organization lived solely on donations from parishioners, I would be more pleased.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116297
 20.07.2015
A woman’s nipple is like a safe door. You need to know where to turn, how to turn and how much to turn.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №116296
 20.07.2015
Have you been expelled from the temple? Are you stuck there again? Or is it that Christ himself keeps His commandments, and the believers are left with only the right to be insulted?
===
That was the synagogue :)
No one has ever been expelled from the Orthodox temple.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №116295
 20.07.2015
This is:

Does this concern you? You are not a parishioner, as I understand, and you do not carry money to church. Or does your grandmother buy candles on Sundays instead of giving half a penny to your beloved grandson? Sorry, it is her business.

And, by the way, you do not understand anything about the economy of the church... Parish money is exactly what the parishioners spent on the goods that the church produces, primarily the same candles.

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Have you been expelled from the temple? Are you stuck there again? Or is it that Christ himself keeps His commandments, and the believers are left with only the right to be insulted?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116294
 20.07.2015
My wife planted me on seeds. I thought about revenge. I put it on iris.
Iris is cleaner than seeds of infection!
I: And you thought! The art of vendetta)))
Wife: I’ll send you this package back to the village! (pause)... and then all the mosque will sweep you away!! to

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