bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141553
 22.05.2017
Mexmed: There is a scarabee furniture store at the MKADE. A good title, but it would be better for the commission.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141552
 22.05.2017
The brother exchanged for something a set of pornographic (at the time, now it would not be called erotic) pictures, the father stuck it, picked it out and hid it in the load pocket of the cooker. Brother was terribly worried, he did not have time to consider, nor to boast to friends, nothing. I decided to steal. In the night, at two o’clock, slowly, on four, he flooded into his parent’s bedroom, to the chair where the kitten hanged. I broke one pocket - no, the second - no, all the others - no ((( I turned to broke the pants - and saw the parents - sitting in a row in the bed, pictures are scattered on the blanket, sitting and quietly looking at him, in the eyes of fear and the expression of the captured thief.
He also quietly turned and rolled back, all the same on the four. The parents came to work early in the morning and did not speak a word in the evening.
The pictures brother stole later, a few months later.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141551
 22.05.2017
Every morning in the subway I pass by the advertisement (resort): "Berdyansk - the best moments in life!".

The best motivation for work.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141550
 22.05.2017
1: Somewhere I read that if a moderator does something completely inappropriate, then subscribers can vote with their feet. and ;-)
2 can be. But in general, this does not always mean "disconnect the moderator".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141549
 22.05.2017
Particularly curious about the rushing people: lived in the nearest Moscow suburb, work and evening training - in Moscow, training ended 25 minutes before I needed the electric car. Next only in 20 minutes. So I, although not a Moscovite, can imagine where people are rushing and calmly missing.
My coat is more white.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141548
 22.05.2017
The purpose of your visit to Belarus?! to
Avatars to change family status.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №141547
 22.05.2017
My wife takes her three-year-old daughter for a walk with me. I dressed up and stood at the door. The girl doesn’t want to dress, runs and turns away.
I: I was tired, I went.
My daughter: Nipponya.
I: Stay at home, Daddy will find someone to walk with
Wife: Here I did not understand.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141546
 22.05.2017
Maxim of Black:
I do not wear jeans.
I feel stress.
I bought a cake from sorrow.
The Tortoise Enter

The Roman Titov:
I am not in the jeans.
Why all this stress?
I drank 100 grams of vodka.
Training at Sunrise

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141545
 21.05.2017
I drive where wolves are afraid to fuck" - a sticker on the rear glass of the car of a glamorous girl in a traffic jamming.
The comments:
I mean, she is a citywoman.)
HHH: It is five! You can be sure that wolves are afraid to fuck in the city :)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №141544
 21.05.2017
Urologists are extremely superstitious, they never say “the last flesh.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141543
 21.05.2017
Catlin Onim, [21.05.17 15:17]
Sometimes I want to knock my head on the wall.
I need a 4x6 carpet. There are no such. "Okay okay, give me two carpets 2x3, I'll lie next to them"

Catlin Onim, [21.05.17 15:18]
And you know, I’ll tell you, it’s not that simple to prove that you’ll need 4 carpets. even with the use of drawings and other visual aid

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141542
 21.05.2017
Wikipedia is understandable

Blessed

Side - mesoforms of the rule relief, which are the crevices of the alluvia, which are submerged in floods and floods and dry in the mesh, connecting with the shore

I read it ten times, at first I thought I was just chewing.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141541
 21.05.2017
<rittyan> off-top: I need to get excited, coffee to take better at Starbucks or in Dublín?
<Bldzhad> in the coffee machine at work take
<Bldzhad> the same shit, but free

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141540
 21.05.2017
I live in Rwanda. Yesterday I spoke to a Rwandan, an indigenous inhabitant of the country’s capital city of Kigali, a couple of kilometers from my home. My uncle in 50 years.

He says:

When I was a kid, Kigali was smaller, three streets and all. In the place where we were sitting, there was a forest. Here, the antilopes were grazing in abundance. And the leopard ate my uncle.

I was genuinely pleased to live in Kigali now, not in the 1960s. I would not have been able to write on the internet then, because it has not yet been invented. And probably a leopard would eat me, because I run slowly.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №141539
 21.05.2017
to this

But GMOs enhance the toxic effects of DNA! This is on the children’s plate. Think of the children!

Immediately ban the DNA! There are toxic effects!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141538
 21.05.2017
Q: Do you remember that I had a mole in my pharmacy box?
I feel sympathy with you, bro.
HH: So, I was tormented all this time by the thought: why in the tablet boxes there is, in the instructions there is, even just so on the bottom of the box there is, and in the cotton it is not. All versions were made...
WOW: Well what? not tomy
XHH: It’s okay with this world. There is a watt too.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141537
 21.05.2017
xxx: I had my name wrongly written in the docks before, Jorj. And one day in the hospital they wrongly filled out the document from the hand, then transferred to the computer, and I was recorded with them as a Tort.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141536
 21.05.2017
Watching the movie, the wife suggested who the lover of the heroine, I ask her:
How do you know?
The Wife:
A woman’s cheek tells me!
O_O

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141535
 21.05.2017
Today I experienced the curse of the Russian Post. He arrived half an hour before the opening, hoping to be the first visitor, and a aunt with a thick pack of ordered letters was already standing in front of the door.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141534
 21.05.2017
xxx: "he wanted so much that it didn’t work" (c)
YYY: It describes my whole life.

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