bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51592
 11.08.2011
We decided to find out who is the best opera in the world.
Come from all countries and compete. The task: forests
15 hectares, there launched a rabbit and you need to find him. The first Americans, the SWAT squadron breaks into the woods, with mints, hour not, 2 not, after 3 they carry a rabbit, everyone is delighted with the good tra-la... Further, the English, drive into the woods the best royal soldiers, a bunch of hunting dogs and other labours, in an hour they carry a rabbit... all in shock, affix... Well, the turn of the Russians
In the woods, two operas in the shape of dads, all began to get upset:
Men, you are where, you are there for a couple of days.
Opera is OK.
Yes, we will be waiting for you here.
Everything is OK. We soon entered the forest.
In the forest there is noise, thunder, screams.
They leave in 15 minutes!
A bear in handcuffs. Conducted to Judges
Bear - Where to go here, I am a rabbit!))))

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51591
 11.08.2011
Oh yeah, these dumb puppets!
XXX: I met with one.
xxx: it has come to sexas, and she is like jumping up from above and as a sparkle:
The Unlimited Merger of Gurren Lagan!! to
XXX: Well of course. It is better to meet with a satanist or a fanatic of darkness. At least you know what to expect from them.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №51590
 11.08.2011
At a small hospital in a small town in the Pskov region, a doctor asked me where I came from. I was from the Udmurt Republic. The next question of the doctor: "Well, and how is it compared to Russia?"

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №51589
 11.08.2011
And I had a young man who, when I finished, began to list all his relatives: Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa Grisha-a-a-a-a-a-a!!He was named after his grandfather himself. He is probably in his most honorable place - at the peak of pleasure.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №51588
 11.08.2011
A year ago, there was an innovation in the city. Mint began to ride on the central walking street on electric cars, small such two-seater to ride on the sidewalk between people. And the central street we have almost a park - lawn, bushes, flowers.
I sit with a friend on a bench.
I: The menta is on its map again.
Friend: Do you hear what he says? "We went to the ninth hole."

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №51587
 11.08.2011
My acquaintances went to Spain, well, and as everybody does with the locals, you can talk about anything, mates, sex, depravity - they are still not belmes in Russian. They are standing in the elevator and very colourfully discussing upcoming sex. And here is an old couple going with them:
"yeah.. guys, it’s all really great, but we’re Russian too"
Epicfail

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51586
 11.08.2011
Short frog: I had to come up with 6 names of schoolchildren from the United States, for a textbook that we are preparing...and I watched the US serial maniacs on wiki)

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51585
 11.08.2011
There are no words, as I dream that before becoming a deputy, a president, a co-founder and other chief, who is allowed to scatter the budget before taking office, they will cut off our right hand immediately.
And they placed a seal on the forehead of the Buddha: "You sweep, muddle, cut off, and left."

[ + 72 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51584
 11.08.2011
Blowing Blowing! Someone hacked my private photo album!
Zaya: And what then?
me: there was a photo where you are making me minet, now it will get innet :(
Zaya is small!! to
I am not painted there!!! to

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51583
 11.08.2011
Topic: How you like to finish

The answer:
And I like when he ends up on his pop and back...then takes his t-shirt and wipes out.

Answer to the answer:
Probably if I took your mommy, you’t like it so much.

[ + 113 - ] Comment quote №51582
 11.08.2011
I forgot to wear an anti-mosquito net for the night, and the night turned into a special operation to destroy mosquitoes. The result of the operation: 7 killed, 3 wounded, including one civilian - the cat came :-(

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №51581
 11.08.2011
Paul is
Welcome to you!! Can I find your number?? to
Natalie
Hello, my number is third.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51580
 11.08.2011
to note:
The Nifiga!

The best way to test a man
Fidelity is to ask a sleeping husband in the morning.
The question:
Will you go with me or will you stay with me?

The male brain on the machine will choose the option, so as not to wake up and go anywhere!

Any of the answers offered will be phallus.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №51579
 11.08.2011
Irrrka
Fuck, I’m getting old, tomorrow I’ll kill you.)
CrazyNut
I've been almost a year with a quarter - and nothing, alive so far - you'll get used to it.
Irrrka
You have a husband, a child and an apartment)) and I only have a child))) I don't have time to nifig)))
CrazyNut
So you have almost a year to catch up 😉
CrazyNut
Find a husband with an apartment - and the plan is accomplished))
Irrrka
Where are they distributed? :)
CrazyNut
I can't tell you this - I took my own without an apartment and a child))
CrazyNut
And then he proceeded.)

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №51578
 11.08.2011
Yesterday I was at Sasuke’s birthday. He gave a toast:
When I was a little brother, he took care of me. He poured sand into my wheelchair so I could have a place to play. But I survived! Thanks to Mom!

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №51577
 11.08.2011
From the news on the mail about the situation in the market ("Experts advise..."):"A representative of the Central Bank believes that there is a common panic in the market, and there is no reason to worry".

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №51576
 11.08.2011
Comments under the photo of a very cute girl.

Akselirator: falling from a chair
“As usual, I help my friend get up.
Akselirator: What’s there with your friend? Do you get up? 😉
You are my friend, hihi!

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №51575
 11.08.2011
Pepper: Yesterday we talked about education, and the Light designated mine not as the “unfinished” higher, but as the “lightly begun.”

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №51574
 11.08.2011
No, Fursenko is a good man. 12 years ago, I did not enroll in the budget, spit on school and went to work. This year I submitted an EGE (not prepared absolutely), submitted documents for three specialties to one university, and I am procanates. Call - you have passed on the budget in three directions - choose where you want. Did I get smarter, or did the student not go today?

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №51573
 10.08.2011
Zveroboy: She is a real odmin. I broke my eyebrows yesterday...

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