bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101093
 29.07.2014
XXX: I also have my boss.
xxx: how I look at the command line and rush every minute
xxx: ninja alt-tab, ept. 9 of Dan.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101092
 29.07.2014
XXX: What are you doing tonight?
Tagged: fucking
XXX in the evening?
Tagged: fucking
Okay, what about the day?
YYY: Find out how

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101091
 29.07.2014
Spam is coming:
If you read it, your customers will read it! ......
Before I had time to press delete, the thought dimmed:
I removed it, my clients will remove it too.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101090
 29.07.2014
X: Every morning the mayor of the city of Debaltsevo comes to the entrance to the city and checks whether the letter "D" has not been stolen from the stella;
Y is
The candidate in the measures of the city of Debaltsevo promises to raise the standard of life in the city to such a level that you will have to change the letter "D" in the name to "For"

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №101089
 29.07.2014
Sleep well here.
and thy.
and thy.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101088
 29.07.2014
This year, there were flies on the 24th floor.
Is it a high altitude option or are they flying in oxygen masks?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №101087
 29.07.2014
About this:

On the street:
Little girl: how long is it?
The elderly: not five or seven.
Q: Is it two things?

I was 24, I heard this joke for the first time 10-15 years ago, on television, and it was pronounced by Yevgeny Petrosyan himself.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101086
 28.07.2014
Sarmel: Interestingly and Andrei Mikhailovich Danilko aka Verka Serdyukko is mobilized?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101085
 28.07.2014
Sheep are so ruthless that the slightest thing makes them rush wherever they get, but they still have a firmly rooted habit of always following their leader. Shepherds use this habit of sheep and introduce half a dozen goats into the sheep herd. The sheep recognize the superiority of the mind of these warts and, if an alarm arises at night, gather around the goats.

"Lobo" by Sethon Thompson

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №101084
 28.07.2014
XXX: Have you ever photographed your member??? I want to make a plaster blind of my penis)and give a girlfriend with a red tape!!)))
Then add 10-15 cm, and then the brick will learn)))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №101083
 28.07.2014
The Sunday. is boring. Dad is on the couch.
Do you want a tattoo? – I ask with a pen in my hand.
Just like a little boy, fine, paint!
I paint him like a mandala. He is far from an artist. It seemed not bad. After a while, I approach my father, look at his foot, and "tatto" lightened.
You washed my mandala?
When you were a kid, you were a soap.
Second stupor and mother's wild rust, and then us
The main thing is to find what to answer.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101082
 28.07.2014
From the intrusion to the construction fan:
• Cleaning and disinfection
- disinfection of cells for cockroaches, pigeons, etc. Remove your pet from there.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101081
 28.07.2014
I hear you are accustomed to excessive additives like sodium glutamate in foods. After all kinds of flavor enhancers, a lot of sugar and salt, natural food can really look fresh.

Do you know how one of my friends is cooking? If you swim, then this is a quarter bottle of vegetable oil, thrown at the same time rice, meat and carrots, and even no onion, not to mention spices - fresh cooked flour. The freshest vegetables from their own extensive garden are cooked for one and a half hours and as a result acquire the taste of plastic cabbage, rather than the expected cabbage cabbage. Meat - either tortured "in French" and floating in, again, oil from dissolved mayonnaise and dissolved cheese, or roasted with vegetable oil (yes, and again without spices / spices) almost to the condition of the body, or roasted to the black on a bowl. Pasta, even initially good, made of solid varieties of wheat, is cooked in a scratch of a la school table. I may be silent about soups, but I haven’t seen the soup of sprat anywhere before. Finance is there, with the stomach / bile / pancreas everything is fine, just so taught her mother, who before marriage to the plate and did not fit, and married she came out in the late 60s.
And, by the way, if the healthy, natural and delicious Brussels cabbage is cooked for too long, the taste becomes monstrously disgusting... So yes, you can make a foil from good fresh products, if you don’t know (and don’t want to know) “match”.

[ + 6 - ] Comment quote №101080
 28.07.2014
From the discussion of the weirdness of sex:

I remember when I was given a virgin. I have endured all kinds of stupid virgin conversations. Conditions vary (type of compulsory couple-three walks) courageously removed. I also respected the other outsiders. Nevertheless, the man of virginity is about to lose, it can be endured.



And here, I remember, came the day of X. We began to gradually get rid of our clothes. She apparently read somewhere that it was necessary to resist until the last, so as not to be taken for a jerk. I am already sweating, and she twists all her legs together so that the jeans are harder to pull off. I had to hint that a few more minutes of such resistance and I will only have the strength to take a shower. It helped, it relaxed a little. And then I removed the lift from her... And she has hair on her chest, fucking... Well, not in the sense that it grows like mine, but it’s still noticeable! And even spot! The Pizzeria. I immediately remembered that I still needed somewhere to go and suggested postponing the procedure. Rather, I didn’t even offer it, but put it before the fact that we will continue when I come back. I have not returned...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №101079
 28.07.2014
Although the adult Vovochka turned the lamb of a trolleybus for 7 million rubles, the girls for some reason did not give him anyway.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №101078
 28.07.2014
XXX: Write the books.
YYY: If I am going to write, it will be fantastic. I’m Russian, so that’s Russian fantasy. And modern Russian fantasy is shit.
The Iron Logic.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101077
 28.07.2014
Give a girlfriend a flower.
I Am Here, the Flower "Female Happiness" I was sitting before this with my brother on the window, but he did not watch him.The flower was crumbling, maybe you will revive.
Really, fuck your brother’s female happiness?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101076
 28.07.2014
<686> and where did the swimsuit go?

<[Yota]Remotion> On the palm, probably

<686> does not appear to be

<686> the lake of Kakato

And you thought that Ladoga is just a TV and a refrigerator?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №101075
 28.07.2014
The state wants money.
Tax: catch a receipt, give the state money.
A letter to you, a letter to you. Only you come and take it, yes, in the working hours.
I: the landlord, went out of autumn hope.
You are: You are!
I, short of time: the mail, I came.
Post Office Officers: And what, do we all want to go crazy? And we dropped your letter because it was sent more than a month ago.
Tax: Now go to us, we will give you a new receipt. Only we work an hour later than the mail and three hours less.
I: Thank you Comrade Stalin for our happy childhood!!! to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №101074
 28.07.2014
And yes, I imagine these lovely islands inhabited by arbitrarily abandoned urks.

= is
There is an entire continent on this globe.

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