bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №68593
 17.08.2012
Today, he broke into the documents of the staff of the 90s, found a magazine, well such a typographical, of the type of an ambar book. Tolstoy is such - pages 100, on the cover, as usual, "start-end", on each page a row of 20-25, 4 graphs. Title of the journal "Journal of nuclear explosions"(!!!), graphs on the pages: "Style of explosion", "Height of the sky rising above the horizon (gr.)", "The presumed force of explosion (kilotons)" and "Note"....
100 pages...
The form of the magazine was developed and approved either by irreparable optimists or by fantastic dolphins.
I was crying...

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №68592
 17.08.2012
XXX: The Crying
YYY: that
I fell from the stairs.
Tagged: youth
YYY: How are you?
xxx is alive
XXX I am at work.
XXX: You are
The waitress goes so gracefully through the room.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I started laughing before I finished.
I thought this ladder would not end.
XXX: And below, a similar picture,
The grief is so long, and the waitress comes out, just as gracefully, but slightly restrained.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №68591
 17.08.2012
mibj: gathered with the guys means to strike, took the machines, costumes, shells of dohuya, and went into the woods, ran into the corners, we sit quietly... only occasionally 2-3 shots are carried out.
mibj: And then Max became impatient, well, he could not hold the guano in himself anymore, dislocated himself in the high grass and did his black business, and swiftly went away from there, because it smells.
mibj: to be understood shit, after such a tactical move he got shit first piece, since when his mine was found Denis did not hold back and said "Fu shit", after this phrase Max successfully sent the line to his trap.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №68590
 17.08.2012
Mother went somewhere for business and left a note:"She went for business". To the note she painted a cheerful rose.
I come, read the note, and there is already a comment from my sister:"Well, where did you go?and "

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №68589
 17.08.2012
ALLIOT: I got the fucking... :( I am not an Ashot! I am Elliot!! to

[ + 32 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68588
 17.08.2012
YuG: So tell me, what’s in these cats that’s not in others? How is a cat different from a dog?

NZM: How is it "how does a cat differ from a dog"? All of us! The cat...is usually smaller, independent. And the dog is ready to jump in your ass. And the cat goes where he wants and thus supports your interest in his person. He will eat, he will eat, he will eat, he will eat, he will eat, he will eat.

YuG: A-a-a, and did I get such a cat? Which neighbors eat?

NZM – It is economical! And strategically true: your neighbors love your cat, so do you too! You can take care of him if you go somewhere.
And then, look: the cat is soft, furry, murmuring. They bring it to you in such a basket, and from there look two large eyelids, and the cat itself is still small, cute, needs warmth and affection. Then you feed it, it grows. He sleeps on your knees, heats you at night, wakes you up to work if the alarm doesn’t sound... brings your clothes...

I don’t want to get married, I want a cat!!! I want to!

NZM – Here you see!

YuG is OK. You can marry a cat!! to

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68587
 17.08.2012
“Imagine: you’re the head of Google Chrome development at Google’s headquarters, the director comes in, and you’re browsing through OPERA.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68586
 17.08.2012
Dmitry Pestov: Interestingly, why, when a person believes that he is Napoleon, he is placed in a psychic, and when a person believes that he is a slave of God, he is protected and encouraged?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №68585
 17.08.2012
wearbo: I agree with you. It is time to make the legs of the saucer. The further, the more fun.
Alcanoid: The lashes would go anywhere, but the legs of the sickle will get out. Try something else!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №68584
 17.08.2012
20 minutes of mining every day helps women lose 5 kg per month!
Probably because of the fact that you can’t eat those 20 minutes))

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68583
 17.08.2012
Great and powerful M4. The road of Krasnodar-Jubga. A huge banner: "Good Morning, the Surgeons!"(!!!) Why Surgeon?? to

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №68582
 17.08.2012
Ordinary morning in the family of Evgeny Grishkovitz:
Dad, give me the salt.
Take salt, what is salt? It is just white grains, which when you pour on the tongue - in the mouth becomes salty. A "salt" is what it is? How to explain it? Just "salt" and that’s all. You can’t describe it with normal words. This is in childhood, when Mom... Mom is just Mom. A woman who spends most of her time with you and who loves you forever.
Well it started...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №68581
 17.08.2012
Natalia
Someone else read me Belinsky.
Ivan is
Thou thou
Natalia
Yes, I remember that!)
Ivan is
And what read?
Natalia
I don’t remember (
Ivan is
Have you read inadvertently?
Natalia
Yes )
Ivan is
The Poetry?
Natalia
Yes is
Ivan is
Belinsky did not write poems, be a girl!
Publicist and literary critic.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68580
 17.08.2012
"Only we men, after refuelling at the gas station, can shake a gun in the tank.

Some inertia even lead him into cowards.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №68579
 17.08.2012
Prehistory: (D)evuka works in the human resources department.

Q: Is it professional for you?
D: What is it?
I: Do not call back when you promise to call back in 5 minutes.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68578
 17.08.2012
Strigov: When Sberbank correspondence is sent by the Russian Post on the RZD trains, it is a star and a mess in the third degree. Or even an exhibit.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №68577
 17.08.2012
Talk to a friend before lunch.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
- God of food and fertility in the peoples of the far north, 8 letters?
WOW :
Omnomnomnom

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68576
 16.08.2012
In Belarus, risk management is reduced to the expression "Joppa чую"

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68575
 16.08.2012
xxx: Yes, we have been near the house for weeks, two damn builders are building something and knocking down the roofs day and night!
YYY: And what does that have to do with what your husband doesn’t give you?
xxx: he said he can’t concentrate because he doesn’t get into the rhythm of the battle (((

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68574
 16.08.2012
When I pull my cat Mitty out of the closet, asleep, soft, cuddled, I think there is somewhere a planet of the Big Cats. They are as important there as we are here. The same growth, and we get them to the middle of the ankle. Cats there pick up frozen little people near the entrance and bring them home. Feed sandwiches and hot tea. They hang in their advertisements with photographs: "Yesterday found, could not pass by. The person is very affectionate, it is visible that he is home, knows the toilet and manicure. I can’t afford it, I already have two people. Take!” and a picture of an ordinary such person in a striped coat, sitting on the couch, watching TV. How not to take it? [...] And they are there too, as we are here, walking around the room and seeing a man falling down on the couch and sleeping, spreading his legs to the sides. It is impossible to pass by such a dumb man. In an attack of tenderness, cats pull it out of the couch and begin to target a dry nose, smooth, steep their head into the stomach. The cat’s wife will say to the cat’s husband in a whisper: “Oh! Well, look at how he washes his teeth and brushes his teeth!” and quietly steals behind the phone to click. Cats on their planet are generally very kind and caring. Unfortunately, some men are not lucky. [...] When one cat comes to another for a visit, the person will sit under the couch. The cat slips under the couch and begins to pull the man by his leg: "This is our Vitalik, look how fat!"
eprst2000

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