Can you tell me how much time it is?
My dad doesn’t allow me to talk to strangers on the street.

From MMORPG BS.
"The XH player gets a rare skill Intelligence"
Nowadays, this is indeed a rare thing.

You will never tell me why you were so damned yesterday. Have a conscience - I already have a complex of inferiority started to develop, I think I did not.
Yyy: Yes, I just remembered that I had to go early in the morning, that’s all. Nothing like that, all norms.
Don’t think like you’re a girl! I will understand, I will not impose, and I will make conclusions for the future. And then now, without information, I already thought that it wasn’t right with me... I really need to know what it was about, I won’t be offended.
I went to the kitchen yesterday, remember? On the board, the strawberries are crushed, and you lick blood from your fingers. It was really disgusting, I was almost upset.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY How are you there?
Yyy: Well, I knew, "I will not be offended", "I will not be offended"...
xxx: Here I, out of the table :-) The liver lay quietly, and waited for me to extinguish it with vegetables. And from my finger I sliced the raspberry syrup with which the cake was impregnated. Only a person who has reviewed the Hollywood horrors can confuse the bloodshed with the innocent syrup. In reality, they are neither similar in color nor consistency!
Yyy: I’m kind of lohanul, yeah? )
So, I am amnestiated. Would you go today?
Are there any more cakes?

I have a joint node. I read not only the classics of sorting "refreshers", but also such works as liquid soap, face scraper, shave foam...

Legendary American golf champion Lee Trevino, also known as the ‘happy Mexican’ or ‘supermex’, told such a story. After another competition for the PGA Cup in 1965, he moved to a new home and one beautiful morning leveled the lawn in front of the entrance. Nearby stopped the luxurious Cadillac, from which a luxurious blonde emerged.
Sorry, do you speak English?
Well... sometimes.
How much do you get for your job?
in a different way. For example, the hostess of this house allows me to sleep with her.
Blonde like the wind.

by Google
What should I do if YouTube doesn’t want to upload videos?
The answer is to wait until YouTube wants to upload the video.

They bought a Doberman puppy so that their ears stood up and glued them with a patch on the usual "tampaks".
How does "regular" differ from "super"?
Selling with drops.
Husband : Yes? Why do you need to "super" for big ears?
Seller O_O

I got on the net for an old news.

The Russian language should not receive the status of the second state language in Ukraine.
This was stated by the politician and boxer Vitaly Klitschko.
“I am sure that the state language is German in Germany, French in France. It is identity. The state language must be one. Everyone communicates in any language and understands each other. But if we want to unite the whole country, the state language must be one. The point,” Klitschko said.

It is a pity that Klitschko did not teach geography at school and does not know countries such as Switzerland, Canada, Belgium, Finland, Israel, etc. Of the countries in which there is no one official language in the world, 48 out of 261, roughly - a fifth.

The Colonel:
I heard from the child’s room a native German language. In panic, I rushed there to turn off their computer and what I see. These children (4 and 5 years old) are watching the Disney club on the German channel. The most important thing is that everyone understands!!! to

XXX: Hello to the Sun
yyy: Hi, the earth
I burn you with my rays.
The forest is burning
People die from burns.
Fresh water at the outset
The coast is covered with salt
Apocalypse
Smells of burning
I am increasing in volume.
Explosions on the surface are increasing.
Mercury has long been a shit.
Venus too
You burn in my arms.
My love
We will die together.

In Yekaterinburg, the ability to cut a gopnik from two strikes is called "on-on technology".

A girl, after a month in our coder-admin office, returning from the buffet:
I came here as an adequate person, and now I go to the buffet in a hug with a plush toy..."

Suddenly opened another plus visits to the gym.
We turned off the hot water, and I at least once every two days, but wash like a white man))

I am scared of yogurt, which promotes the “natural cleansing” of the body. I’m not coughing, I’m not...

- Ceramic knives are really "eternally sharp"? Who used the sable? There are replies?
With ceramic knives, mammoths were hunted.

I look at the tracking of my package. The package was accepted from our Chinese comrades and already in 2 days the Chinese write that it is in Moscow. Our customs department stumbled again after 4 days and confirmed that it had received it and only three days later released the parcel. And here, for 12 days this parcel is going through Moscow, not even thinking to go to the delivery department.

If it were exactly the same as the Post of Russia worked the other services:

Aunt Klava, a well-deserved PR worker, arrives at the stop and is surprised to find out that the nearest bus to the subway is within three hours. After descending in the subway, she learns that the train has just left, the next one in three hours and she will come to work not earlier than at the end of her shift. In the store for the bread, the cashier takes one and a half people per hour, so the turn of Klava will come, just tomorrow, to the closure of the store,
Well, and the Emergency to Clave will arrive in emergency, three days after her funeral.

and :)

xxx what are you doing?
I am offended by Sasuke. I had a pimple on my chest, and he said, “Well, behold, the chest of wisdom is breaking out.”

In our cemetery on some tree (in the beryozka probably) hanged a girl on the other day her boy and on the third another kind of their friend. So the men only after the third corpse broke the tree.

Fuck, fuck... is there a tree here?? to

Katerina
I want a shirt.

The Roman
Oh these women...

Katerina
the salad.

K: At work around the building, something with the pipes is turning. They dug a tranche with a depth of 3 meters. We walk on narrow bridges. Dirty around! In general, total suffering and discomfort.
Today I go carefully to myself on the boards, I look at the sides, as if I did not get into dirty dirt. And here I hear from the trance. I see — on the bottom guys sit, repairers, and anecdotes digest. They are frozen in mud, of course, to horror, but they are pleased, and rush unstoppably.
And so stupid it seemed to me that my cleansing...