bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №68373
 13.08.2012
I am an allergic. Why do I have sex when I can eat chocolate at any time and get scratched?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68372
 13.08.2012
>...why does a person have a disgusting voice, the louder he tries to fuck, and the interlocutor is chosen through the half-room? The idiots, even the headphones do not save.

How I understand.
For a long time I had to go to work at the same time with one aunt who had a disgusting whispering voice, and she was always not alone, but with some silent friend who had something rubbed all the way. Her mouth was not closed at all. The seats usually remain single, and being close to them, it was impossible not to hear this pylorama. After 10 minutes, the whole body began to itch, and the hands themselves stretched out to stifle the infection.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №68371
 13.08.2012
From the Medical Forum:
Dear Doctor! My name is Anna, I am 25 years old, I have two children. I gave birth spontaneously.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №68370
 12.08.2012
If you want to, turn off the lights and the laptop so that it doesn’t light.
Will I get up?
“No, fucking, it’s like a flower, just stretching to the light.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №68369
 12.08.2012
xxx: I am going to be...heavy on my heart...unknown reaction (
Sometimes you sit so you sit, think... and should it even start this conversation. You try to do the best. to share with a person what concerns him, to make him feel that he is important and that he is closer... but what does it lead to? Nothing good, as experience shows.
People don’t see things as you want them to be and as you mean them.
YYY: You described the exam directly.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №68368
 12.08.2012
Opa, smartphones and ultrabooks have become so smart that they can be taught something.

YYY: Will it still be! Soon they will become so clever that they will start to penetrate. As Professor Preobražensky.

Smartphone is charged.
and no. I will not.
Why are you refusing?
I do not want.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №68367
 12.08.2012
Yesterday, the whole house was captured. repair of the courtyard: cleaned the place under the parking lot, cooked new turnips on the site, updated the benches, rearranged the bordures. In order to create favorable conditions for the parking lot, the place for 20 cars has been filled with sand, and it has been flanked on three sides with a border and mountains with a slate. From the side of the ride they poured fresh concrete up to the house, and the entrances to the courtyard were blocked with their cars and red shutters until the brigade arrived to pour out the parking lot.
So, at night, one companion in a taxi did not pay attention to the obvious signs of "building" and the unusual location of the cars, and still found a gap in the border from the far end of the venue, broke between the mountains on wet sand, walked around the turnips, and then stuck in raw concrete near the house, but still went straight to the entrance, from where and was laconically sent by one of the tenants on a loud and ringing yuh. I walked the same path, poor man.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №68366
 12.08.2012
I sit at work and my wife writes:
Gretchen
I was so upset ((

arsenic
What about you?

Gretchen
and the (

arsenic
I am so bored! ?
There is food still.
At the end of the day, fill the carrots.

Gretchen
I don’t want to eat cake (and sweet).

arsenic
In the refrigerator. Sweet in 5 minutes. Get off the mattress and go.

Gretchen
I want to eat (
and with you (

arsenic
Fuck... I think your attack of cannibalism is better to sit over at work, right?

[ + 21 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68365
 12.08.2012
The operational worker (or) asks the people (nrd) about dtp
Q: What number was the car?
ND: appears to be N810nm
OR: How is it? In the letters?
Nina eight hundred ten Natalya Mikhailovna
Inna eight hundred ten Nikolai Petrovich
Nina Natalia Masha
Or: I am now with you or with whom I speak - and before them the turn will come!

And you speak to the police not by calling - talent.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №68364
 12.08.2012
She is:
A! All of it! I smelled the solvent, I need to sleep.
He is:
I have dreams! ? ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №68363
 12.08.2012
Kakunya: Please tell a good proctologist in Odessa.
XXX: With such a nick really touches the poor.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68362
 12.08.2012
As I remember now, all the girls on the New Year’s Morning were snowflakes, and so on, and I was a Musketeer because I had an older brother who had a costume made before.

Solovsky

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №68361
 12.08.2012
I: We’ll do well tomorrow. Here is our schedule for tomorrow:
7:00 ascension
7:00 to 8:00 to get up and have breakfast.
She: 8:00-10:00 all kinds (sleep further)
10:00-12:00 get up, wash up for breakfast(double 2)
12:00 for work
I: I agree

) ? ? ?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №68360
 12.08.2012
I meet a guy. He has the habit of periodically writing something on a mirror after breath.
After a month of relationship, I love you.
After two months, you are my favorite.
After three months – Hi, dear!
Six months later – the mirror.
In a year, I want a beer.
After one and a half, go on.
Two years later, you are born!
And yesterday's new masterpiece - a fun-working place, ubeys the wall =)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68359
 12.08.2012
[22:50:34] tchc: the whiplash
[22:51:59] CHC: I wanted to write (and wrote) in a questionnaire on the Mamba, the Count "I love": "meat, children and silence"... And only immediately noticed that the parser had eaten the chest. I understood a lot about those girls who responded and talked to me.
[22:53:19] CHC: changed to "meat, silence and life"

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68358
 12.08.2012
In the Moscow metro, the station must be renamed "Novoslobodskaya" to be renamed "Klapeyronovskaya". And then there will be the transfer of Mendeleev-Klayperon

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68357
 12.08.2012
I slept with him once, several times.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №68356
 12.08.2012
There are such libraries in the intranets, where the works are downloaded as they were, no system, only to unlock the site on search queries. So, in spite of the fact that I understand all this perfectly, yesterday almost to the blood scratched the HSV, because on one page I met the poem of A.S. Pushkin and his own, published ten years ago.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №68355
 12.08.2012
I corresponded with a friend with whom I had not communicated for a year.

Robert [04.08.2012-14:32:22] said:
What reminded you of me?

July[04.08.2012-14:33:26]:
Your appearance in the Aske. since I have not been in her for a long time.

Robert [04.08.2012-14:36:24]:
O how
Why didn’t it turn on for so long?

July [04.08.2012-14:43:00]:
I bought the phone yesterday.

July [04.08.2012-15:26:42]:
I bought the phone yesterday.

Robert [04.08.2012-15:27:01]:
Congratulations

July [04.08.2012-14:43:00]:
I bought the phone yesterday.

July [04.08.2012-15:43:10]:
I bought the phone yesterday.

July [04.08.2012-14:43:00]:
I bought the phone yesterday.

July [04.08.2012-15:58:19]:
I bought the phone yesterday.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №68354
 12.08.2012
Sports, of course, you need to do it, but you need to know the measure, because before you did a run in the morning once a month, and you are a hero. And when at the Olympic Games in the 40 km marathon failed to get even bronze so you are already a shame of the country (

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna