bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100813
 22.07.2014
In the case of liberalism you will be kidnapped in secret, interrogated in the Gestapo to death, and then the unscrupulous media will announce that you are a terrorist who exploded himself, shot himself twice in the head from a gun, killed himself without removing his bracelets, burned himself with a Molotov cocktail, shot from the RSZ "Grad" or PZRK (thanks to the air conditioner!). So that no one doubts, in your garage will find a warehouse of ammunition, and in Cyprus accounts for financing terrorist attacks, will publish on Facebook a plan to capture the world from the hacked email. Your house will be burned by your associates in a terrorist cell to replace traces, and relatives, without shame, will commit suicide (in the ways described above, of course).

_______________________

Oh! And can I somehow contact a specialist separately, who will find me an account in Cyprus, bypassing the other points?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100812
 22.07.2014
My Little Fallout. Friendship never changes.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100811
 22.07.2014
People, what do you think if a cake with fish lay down for a day, can it be eaten?
YYY: I’t be
XXX: What will happen to him? He was lying in a bag, in a distant dark corner without light.
Are you afraid of microbes?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №100810
 22.07.2014
So, raise your fat shit and drop in the halls and at the stadiums!
This is one of the most important things in the world.
Why do you tell others what to do? Go to the stadium, to the hall, to life. Do not lie with other people.
Because looking at such an obscure and uneducated thing, I realize that I will have more pleasure playing at the computer than communicating with the bull.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100809
 22.07.2014
When outluck asks, you are mistaken, and instead of "originals" you should write "originals"? I don’t know if he’s joking, or does he know something like that?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №100808
 22.07.2014
17:12 [Save Bolt] I am looking for a robot )With offers in Private
17:12 [Bambelbe] to [Take Bolt] judging by nick your intentions are serious)))))

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №100807
 22.07.2014
A familiar family bought a huge thin plasma. Solemnly installed on the old tomb, everything was going to hang on the wall, but did not have time. One day, the 90-year-old head of the family was sitting and watching an old war movie. Suddenly the signal forgot something and began to interrupt. Grandfather, without thinking about it, walked over the plasma on top of the shell - he's all his life so "interfered" with his "Record"... Technologies, of course, do not stand still, but their vandalism resistance has slid to a negative mark. and :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100806
 22.07.2014
The work colleague tells another "case from practice". She has one third-party corrector, an elderly woman who likes to leave her comments on the fields when editing. For example, he runs the Mandelstam collection and writes: "Why is there no poetry like this??" and he quotes it. Or opposite the strofe of E. Evtushchenko with large letters: "Unlucky rhythm!!". And it makes it all the hardest on a hard pencil, which is almost unwashed and leaves "in-depth" on the page. The colleague is already accustomed, so he tries not to think too much. He sits down, washes slowly and throws under his nose: "It's good that Yevgeny Alexandrovich doesn't see this."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100805
 22.07.2014
Found on the roofs of the runnet: Sorry, but you must know the truth.

Late at night, between 2 and 3 o’clock at night, get up, go to the bathroom without turning on the lights, take a lighter or light bulb with you. Close the door behind you and stand in the dark, turn your face to the mirror, for 5 minutes try to look in the mirror in the outer darkness, then try to light the lighthouse or ring a flash, but only once, if you fail, then immediately, immediately open the door and as quietly as possible, without making abrupt movements, leave the bathroom and turn on the light. If you succeed... well, you will learn and learn a lot of new things.

Comments on this horror:
XXX: I saw my brother! Should it be?! to
yyy: xxx seemed to have done everything as written, but I did not see your brother. Probably mistaken in something...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №100804
 22.07.2014
[_007_] recalled (with excessive satisfaction) how in the times of a happy childhood of the present USSR, a strange boy in school shirt, with a ride - "why am I so proud-independent, if he is older than me?" The type of fight even gathered.)
Next was the oil painting. We synchronously opened the portfolios, got the diaries and saw that he was a class younger. The boy cried, hid a diary and fled somewhere. I’ve been reminded of it for years and I’ve smiled.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №100803
 22.07.2014
What now?
Let us remember the customs of all times and peoples and apply them today.
For the ancient Greeks, for example, it was inappropriate, seeing a cute boy, to strike him a tongue, go in and go on with his affairs.
and where it is not shameful to worship, even praisefully... or roaring, to express thanks to the masters for the meal
____________
I remembered, young Padovan: people remembered traditions when and only when, thanks to them, you can stumble your neighbor.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100802
 22.07.2014
Gather all the certificates.
All the papers on the planet
All smelly papers.
Confirmations and Relationships,
To make one of them great:
Ten thousand billion
The British Pound,
Pudding of Russians!
To feed it with solarium.
petroleum and ether,
to light a stinking light bulb,
An old fireplace.
When it burns,
Put him in the bowl.
Fuck all officials.
The Unfortunate Planet
He will cry of joy.
Fucking laughing at happiness.
It will be fun to dance.
Dancing in the green!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100801
 22.07.2014
The Talking Gifts

I gave a hammer.

And he thought he was knocking on us unburntly to the boss :)

At the boomerang ;)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100800
 22.07.2014
to this:
I came to work today - on the table of the note"to drink the table". I am confused, I ask the people that this could mean and who wrote it? It turned out to be sealed - rubbish the table)) make a hole under the wires))

appointed an employee. And all he could not deliver anything - the labor, the certificate of some, the military ticket, etc. Finish the design at last. She wrote a reminiscent on a paper in the list of little things: "Get Nikolayev". Nikolayev, who finally appeared to sign the documents, was a bit wary.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100799
 22.07.2014
Do you know about defense capabilities?! to
Zoithy: more people went to the army than from all the Suvorov schools!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №100798
 22.07.2014
A dog escaped from me. Then the cat. Then a man. Coffee from Turkey. The milk yesterday. I saw a cockroach today, and behold, he looked after me to the exit.
I’ll give you my cosmetics!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №100797
 22.07.2014
Something is wrong with my body. When you see the sofa, you want to lie down, when you see beer - drink, when you see food - eat. When looking at work, sleep.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №100796
 22.07.2014
I recently took the driver to the ambulance. A large American car that can’t be filled with any equipment. The work was monotonous. We go out for small things. Not to pursue you on the streets, not to turn on the whistleblower.
In general, at the end of the change, I throw to the house of the Feldscher. The place is off-shore, there is almost no traffic - so I decided to get off. He turned on his orals and whistles - with the wind a couple of crossings flew... beauty! (True, the boss will know – the brain will blow up)
In general, I bring him with such honors before entering, loading out.
Five minutes later, the emergency call is in the same house. The heart. Well I think I was scared by my noise lighting effects who!
I rushed with the doctor back, and our officer at the entrance is running around the grandmother... loaded, delivered, rescued.
As it turns out: the grandmothers on the bench saw an arms and lighting ambulance coming in. They only have one heart on the 10th floor. They are to her. She has a bad heart on the floor. Here is our helper and it was useful...
If it were not for my desire to stumble, I think, and it would be too late to save my heart.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №100795
 22.07.2014
The problem with our deputies is that they make laws and they need to take medicines.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №100794
 22.07.2014
In connection with the initiatives of Deputy X@#$kova, I propose to introduce the Moscow version of the proverb: "Look at Duke from the lookout", namely, "Look at Apollo from the balcony of the Duma".
And in general, do they want the Russians in their pockets to have no x in all respects?

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