bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №51072
 31.07.2011
I can meet Dick.
You can't meet me, I'll fly at 32:30
Romka: well if at 32-30, then it's really hard to meet O_o

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №51071
 31.07.2011
Dmitry
Today my mom tried to explain to me the actor "bled such, with a smart face, he still played in the movie where they were flying in the spacecraft and the aunt was still" - guess who it is?? to
Masha
by Kianu Reeves
Dmitry
Ept... How?? How can you guess it’s Keanu Reeves 😉
Masha
I don’t know but he’s usually pale)))))) and his face is smart))))))
Dmitry
Can you recognize the film by description?
Masha
The matrix probably.
Dmitry
Here’s how to talk to you, aunts, about high art.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №51070
 31.07.2011
Tweeted by Nanotolyevich Medvedko. It would be better to call it that.)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №51069
 31.07.2011
21:41) xxx: yeah yeah
21:41) xxx: You scared me!
(21:41) xxx: I read the wall text here
(21:42) xxx: and, suddenly, the BAC window jumped up the columns cried the cat
21:42) xxx: Do not do that anymore.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №51068
 31.07.2011
G is
Sex should not be stupid sex.
G is
Who likes it, of course.
G is
But I grew up.
G is
Sex should be a continuation of love.
B is
My parents have just left. ;)
G is
Okay I go

[ + 102 - ] Comment quote №51067
 31.07.2011
Hi, do you do it?
I’m playing with my chick...
Meaning of the cat!! to
I know what you think of the goat!!!! to
The user "wow" removed you from your list of friends!

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №51066
 31.07.2011
See also "Captain America" The main character is that his metabolism is 4 times accelerated.
The first thought: "How much does he eat?and "
The second: "And the third..."

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №51065
 31.07.2011
What do you think of another option?
We stayed in the house for two weeks.
And all this time, Sanya, you chew the sardines.
Do you chew sardines?
and ah!
It tastes meat-delicate and juicy.
I fell in love with the beef sandwich!
w w w w w w w w

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №51064
 31.07.2011
Tell me what is warm and safe.
Is it a hamster in a condom?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №51063
 31.07.2011
A friend taking off the water costume at the fair asked a friend to cover up from people, but how did he know that at the most responsible moment a joyful cry of a friend would spread - look at dolphins!!! to

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №51062
 31.07.2011
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I love him, I want children from him, I want to suck out of him, I can’t live without him. It is :'(

Sosindi (19:48:12 28/05/2010)
In other words, I am Ilya.

Sosindi (19:48:18 28/05/2010)
Tania in the kitchen

Sosindi (19:48:22 28/05/2010)
It happens

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №51061
 31.07.2011
1st So why did you divorce? It was all great, was it?
2nd She did not share my interests.
1st What other hobbies do you have?
2nd Well what? The women.

[ + 69 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51060
 31.07.2011
Recently, Gula saw a funny inscription on the garage:
Lenin is alive.
Elvis is alive.
That is alive.
Jackson is alive.
Goff is dead.

[ + 122 - ] Comment quote №51059
 31.07.2011
Do you remember Tanaka?
ZZZ: Did you find it?
XXX is a bitch. As was the case. We met for 2 months. I stumbled into my ears. They were talking on the phone and fighting. I shouted to her so-"Silence let me, even if you will seem cute!" Well she dropped the phone and all.I write - no answer((((( and I know how I loved(((Dapper and all that)
Zzzz: I know this story.
Yesterday I received an SMS from her.
It"ll catch?"
Oh, I am in shock.
Hello, where are you missing, baby? How are you? What is it?"
What"s about silence?"
The Fucks!!The month has passed!!In silence, she was playing!! to
zzz: marry me 😉 😉

[ + 64 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51058
 31.07.2011
My mom told me a story today. At work, I addressed a friend (z):
M: Print me a bag of sugar, please.
Q: Welcome to the Internet Addicts Club.
Q: What if there is no internet?
Q: Well guess what was my first thought when you said ‘Print me a bag of sugar’?

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №51057
 31.07.2011
Sandos: Horror Story 1987 "House 2: The Cursed Abbey"
They knew!! :D

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №51056
 31.07.2011
Those who walk their way are constantly on their feet.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №51055
 31.07.2011
“You do what you want, and I went skiing,” said the father and went.
to the door.
to stand! be afraid! Mother said, “Take your son with you, then go!”
And in the snow! - said the five-year-old son, postponed the joystick from
The game console "Dendy", and the machines on the TV screen froze. – s
Tough to ride.
“Five minutes for fees,” said the father, “and once you have a snowcoat, give it.
I have a rope and a belt.
Do you take soap in the bathroom? My mother pleased me,
Take a belt and a rope.
- You won't wait, - replied the father, - to the hills through the field and the forest five.
The kilometers. Not to pull the snow on the hill? I am attached to the belt.
I will wear and pull on the back of the trailer with a cranky move.
- You take him whatever you want, - confirmed the mother's thought, - only the son does not.
to lose. Otherwise I won’t let you go home.
“I will not lose it,” said the father confidently, “I need it myself more: we are in
The dancers will play tonight.

To the place where it was possible to go skiing, arrived without adventures.
With one hand, the father dragged the skies, holding them in a special professional way, the other - a rope with a snowmobile. After crossing the last street separating the city from the field, the father tied the rope to the belt, put on a belt, got up on skies and went. Simultaneous one-step running.
A good skier develops quite decent speed. My dad was a good skier. Pulling the snowmobile was not much more difficult than pulling the usual BI-6.
Dad pulled up. The son ran, talking from behind, like a water skier behind a boat.
The meeting people pointed to them with their fingers and ski sticks. The couple looked beautiful. Five passed in fifteen minutes. In front of it was already seen the slope of the first oak, - the same "hills" from which it was to ride.
“I will not brake,” he thought, “I will jump before I go down.
I will land on the hill. It was not bad once.
On the right were some fresh pins. Another six meters, and Dad jumped, and then the surprises began. The devil's rope stretched and torn him back.
When a good person in a good movie shoots a bad person from a jet grenade, a bad person is quickly taken in an unknown direction. Dad got even faster and more familiar.
He was thrown up and carried back. Have you seen the wedding doll on the hood? Have you seen the tea on the curtain of Mhatt? If they both put on skies, wrap ski sticks in their wings and throw their backs forward to the devil’s mother in the air, it will be like that.
A doll has no wings. Give the doll wings!
Dad didn’t fly long. Even in the middle of the flight, he realized that he would not die: before death, before his eyes all life flashes, and before his eyes were skies. He dropped the sticks, managing to release his brushes from his belts. Watching the skies was boring, Dad closed his eyes and nodded on his back. The snow was dotted, but still deep and not very hard.
Dad was lying on his back in the posture of the same doll with the hood, and he felt skis kicking on his legs from the wind. He opened his eyes. Through the skies it was visible that a couple of adults and three children were bowing over him.
Dad, what are you lying for? Asked a child, being a son of
I broke my nose and lip, and proudly, and I broke my nose to blood!
Are you whole? A man of my father’s age asked.
Stretching his hand to help him get up, he could get you to the hospital.
Should I?
The Uncle! A 7-year-old boy broke a man, how beautiful you are.
Are you jumping? Can you teach?
“No, boy,” replied the father to the last question and stood up, “no.”
I will learn. This is our family kung fu. It is only transmitted from father to son.
After spotting his son, looking at the skies, the father found a snowmobile stuck between two pine pines.
“Son,” the father asked, “have you seen these pins?” Why invaded?
“Daddy,” replied the son, whispering with his broken nose, “if you get into “Dendy.”
A machine at an obstacle, it flies away. Here is it, son.
I pulled my shoe, no. Do you understand? Let us ride from the mountain.
After evaluating the harmfulness of computer games in a few maternal words, the father pulled off the attachments and led his son to ride from the hills.
They easily escaped. The speed of twenty kilometers per hour, of course, is small, but dangerous. Even though they both got more from their mom in the evening than from speed.
Nineteen years have passed. My son is twenty-four, and I have no time to go so far.

[ + 64 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51054
 31.07.2011
In the store, a man addresses the seller:
- Hello, please 3 boxes of vodka, 50 liters of beer,
5 Martini boxes and 30 packs of condoms.
Here please.
and thanks.
Young man, wait for you!
What is?
Take me with you!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №51053
 31.07.2011
Email for employees of the company:
Dear owner of a glass bottle with tomato juice. You probably forgot about the wonderful bottle you put in the refrigerator compartment. What happened to her was sad. Please take steps to save the refrigerator.

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