bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115513
 01.07.2015
The xxxx:
Yesterday, looking into the mailbox (iron, in the entrance), I found in it mail notifications intended for a recipient from an apartment with a number smaller than mine. I threw them into the right box and went on.
Today came a neighbor from an apartment with a number larger than my one and handed a mail notification addressed to me.
I think to which department of the Russian Post to report that the android, which is apparently being tested in our department, needs to repair the database - the indexes seem to have moved.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115512
 01.07.2015
Think of Cleopatra. If he did not fully lay down and lived until the morning, he was swallowed, and his head off his shoulders. There are no grievances of conscience.
Yyy: It’s that no one of the lovers tells you that she’s not only the queen of Egypt, but also the queen of the shrubs :-)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115511
 01.07.2015
ZZZ: I would have your problems. Just from the doctor. I have post-traumatic neuritis. The ribs hurt like a fracture. They say it’s normal. 😉
ZZZ: I’m very old, I just fell on the sand, and for two weeks I broke up.
YYY: True sand with sludge was, fell from 1.5 meters at a speed of 50km / h)))))
ZZZ: Not the point
XXX: Yeah, the fucking war

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115510
 01.07.2015
Work on mistakes.

The Prosecutor General’s Office of the Russian Federation began to check the legality of the recognition of the independence of the Baltic republics by the USSR State Council in 1991.
____________________________________

zzz: The next will be Alaska, because the lease has expired.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115509
 01.07.2015
The cat asks for a cat, all night without a break, such a cat excellence. I hardly sleep, I massage her, I regret, I comfort her.
My alarm rings. Kosz approaches me, goodbye his head under my palm, flips in the corner of the couch with a fur clot and falls asleep.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115508
 01.07.2015
aaa: yesterday the new number of the magazine "writers" pulled
BBB: Is this any urology news?
AAA: No, about the compounds))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115507
 01.07.2015
I go to work to the other end of the city, the trip takes about half an hour. Route of battle. (B) the dresser announces the stops: "We turn-out" (P)the trials of the choir:"No!" A: Komsomolsky, We win out? Q: No is no! Q: Will someone get out of the heat? Q: No is! Drivers, the fucking...

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115506
 01.07.2015
Beware of people who offer simple solutions to complex problems. Usually, the first point of their program is to “shoot...”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115505
 01.07.2015
This film is from 1985. Are you hearing about him for the first time?

It’s a TV show that’s not created by that generation. because the boy Cole studied in the 8th grade
— — —
Fuck you give up?
They all have pioneer cravates. In the eighth we went with the Komsomol signs.

The coats ended in the 7th, although there is a sixth grade, not older than the movie.
-
This was a real 6th grade, and only the artist of Alice was a 5th grade, because of this she was approved for a role with big problems. Book of the 6th class. It is a shame not to know the classics.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №115504
 01.07.2015
To all the guys who are afraid to approach a girl, I ask a simple question – and what are you afraid of? You have no relationship with her. Stir - you have lost nothing, will support the conversation - has already worked in plus. For polite treatment in the jaw you will not be beaten and the bullet in the forehead will not be put, the maximum - they will be cut off a little more rough than you deserve. But you are not institute, because of the unexpected "delayed, fool" to grab the heart and run to melt? Send - think that just less expats received. Well, as you fill the expo to the next level, everything will be full.
and success!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115503
 01.07.2015
My daughter (4 and a half years old) recently arrived here. Dialogue with Dad:
Q: Are you going anywhere?
Q: No, what did you want?
D: The kitten under the car sits and does not want to go out (by the way, the kittens at the first sounds of her voice run out who is not much worse than the characters of the cartoon about Masha)
Q: Do you want me to go and get a cat?
D is yes.
Q: And you pulled him out of the car. Hold a piece of sausage.
In a few minutes comes:
D: Nothing worked out.
Q: What, the cat didn’t want the sausage?
D: (It is something)
I: Have you eaten the sausage?
D: Yes...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №115502
 01.07.2015
1248: And what does God say? You are not obliged to serve me, you have a choice, but if you do not serve me, you are a shit. You are waiting for fire, torture and suffering. Do you know what it reminds me of? and Auschwitz. The Jews are not lucky all the way, they even have a fascist god.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115501
 01.07.2015
In Russia democracy, in Europe democracy, in the United States democracy. They do not understand that if the United States is evil, then Russia is not far from it.
===
The main rule of democracy is that every citizen of the police must have at least two slaves.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115500
 01.07.2015
Sister (C) writes, her six-and-a-half-year-old son pressed something on the laptop and the image on the screen turned 90 degrees.

Q: How to fix it?
C: I say to Danke, “Oh, you broke the computer, Daddy, you will be insulted, you need to fix it.” and this small ass approaches the computer with a superstitious face, starts clicking on the keys. I approach to pick up, I pick up and see, he repaired it!!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115499
 30.06.2015
Yes, on a collective war, women also want to get pleasure, what they are out of mind, because women also want to get pleasure, they reject the person who is unpleasant to them, reject the person from whom it smells, reject the person who behaves like a puppy (the social role suggests that in bed from such a return you do not expect), and even anyone will be rejected at the moment when the life situation or mood do not have any sexual pleasure at all - it is quite natural, a spoon is good for lunch, but no one will be delighted with this spoon all day (even if all of this day is something to bite with a spoon - in such a amount it is not necessary for anyone).
It is women who need sex who choose a man with whom sex will be pleasant not only to his side.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115498
 30.06.2015
The child responds courteously:
We owe nothing to anyone. Please leave this territory and do not come again without invitation. and.
— — — —
It will be mega. The actions of the child I approve, he from a young age learned simple life truths "Adult - does not mean indisputable authority" and "Nobody owes anyone anything". I raised myself in the same style.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115497
 30.06.2015
I sat in a taxi.
Get ready, I am ready
A concrete pillar fell to the roof.
An evil joke of fate.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №115496
 30.06.2015
I wake up one morning of a headache (yesterday celebrated well) and a persistent demand:
“Daddy, daddy, we were given a piece yesterday, and my teacher didn’t give me anything for it. Everyone put it, but I don’t. Let me read it to you. Dad, Dad...
“Sasha, I’m hard to say, let’s go later, I don’t understand anything right now, I can’t even listen.
He broke me anyway. The subject, as it was, I ask.
I had to write about nature, I wrote about forests and rabbits. ...
Well roll...
Now I will try to literally rewrite the composition itself - a little more than half the school page in the line.
So then. In one forest, Saška began, they built a factory, where rabbits were shaved. And here, when another batch of rabbits was brought to the factory, they decided to organize a escape.
Several rabbits gathered together and began to discuss a plan for escape. It was decided to undermine under a coil wire and escape into the forest.
And here, when the bribe was ready, several rabbits ran out and quickly ran into the forest. They started shooting at them, but the rabbits turned away from the bullets. Guards with dogs were chasing. One rabbit long walked through the forest, and he managed to get rid of the pursuit.
Finally, exhausted by the pursuit, the rabbit flew into the forest and fell on the grass, breathing hard.
And then an autumn yellow leaf fell on the nose of the rabbit from the tree, the rabbit looked at it (you can imagine it?) and said:
What a beauty!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №115495
 30.06.2015
I am looking for a rich girl in Nürnberg.
What a pity that you are a little late. I would have been very close to you last night.
Alphabet: How is it?
Leonella: Yesterday I swallowed my ring with a jacket. Don’t ask how it happened, it’s not important for our conversation.
Alphabet: I did not understand. You are about what?
Leonella: And last night I was a ring of that... that... I’m not wealthy inside anymore. I no longer fit you. So slowly and sadly go to the ass.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115494
 30.06.2015
The fact that Novotroitska is a serious city I understood when I saw a bus stop loaded on the evacuator.
The hot ural guys.

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