bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №50932
 28.07.2011
I am sitting alone at work today.
YYY: And where are the others?
xxx: Andrei is on vacation, the chef at the country, Anja resigned, Pasha has a heat stroke, Renat - and it is good that he is not there...

[ + 63 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50931
 28.07.2011
Hicks: Well admit honestly, who of you when listening to the song "Went to the shore of Katyusha" at least once in the head appeared the image of a young girl, and not a combat vehicle of rocket artillery?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №50930
 28.07.2011
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You can’t hide sweets and vibrators!
WOW: It’s not about me.
I don’t eat sweets.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №50929
 28.07.2011
The neighbor had a computer (a middle-aged girl), no experience, respectively. One day he came to me with a problem.
I can listen to one song and play it all one by one. I look into the manipulator, I see an open folder with MRIs and I understand that he does not know how to highlight them all. Silently press Control + A. The neighbor nodded for a second, and then asked a question. "And how did you hide them all?"
I could not help him any more that day.and ?

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50928
 28.07.2011
Sometimes for a high flight, the usual tip under the ass is lacking!!!! to

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №50927
 28.07.2011
The Real Negro
The elderly generations remember Weiland Rodd (the elder), who came to the USSR in the early 1930s with his white wife-pianist and played all the blacks in all Soviet films: it's "Five-Year-Old Captain", and "Mikluho-Maclay", and "Circus", and "Meeting on the Elbe". There were no more blacks among the actors, and therefore the directors were invited to film only him, and he was paid an increased rate. In the meantime, Weiland was a rather tenuous and pressing man.
During the filming of the film "Treasure Island" at the Odessa film studio, he thought that he was paid too little and arranged a scandal in the accounting office: racism was told, calculated and offended!
The modest accountant, showing him the information and accounting documents, said bitterly:
- You get 700 rubles per filming day, and I, the chief
Accountant, I go for six hundred rubles a month. So much more needs.
Let’s see who of us is a black man.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №50926
 28.07.2011
Operation Commissioner Petrov, in the framework of a special task sitting under the appearance of a poor man near the church to ask for mercy, the next day without hesitation resigned from the internal ministry.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №50925
 28.07.2011
I heard, this dude just threw out the New Year's Tree!
Yyy: weak, my at least would hny

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №50924
 28.07.2011
My six-year-old brother built a house in the Sims, and placed the bed for his playwife... in the kitchen. I think I educated him correctly.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №50923
 28.07.2011
Brother and girlfriend went to visit, almost not followed by her - washed all the dishes
XXX: I look after my best. For some reason:

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №50922
 28.07.2011
From the ASK:
The bear? This is who?
You are our president.
Do we have a president?? to
- O_O
Do you think the people have chosen him?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50921
 28.07.2011
Lectures on Mass Communication. There is noise in the audience, because spring and in the head of the thought is not about these very communications. Prepod watched all this for a long time and said:"And why are we so young people moved? Oh, well... Spring has come, the girls have removed their socks – Spring has smelled!" O_o
by gel

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50920
 28.07.2011
Yesterday, a resident of the city, Valentine Polovtsov, was detained near the Gomel supermarket, who came to make sure that they really could be detained in Gomel "for nothing".

He approached a group of young people and convinced everyone that Lukashenko is the “best president”, that “every authority needs to be submitted” and he will never believe that the Belarusian militia is detaining people for no reason.

During this conversation, two special forces officers approached him, turned, dragged into a police car and brought to the Central ROVD. The service department informed Belapan that the citizen was then sent for psychiatric examination.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №50919
 28.07.2011
Today I saw four blacks in different parts of the wagon and suspiciously stared at each other.
XXX: they already protect themselves from how many of them in Moscow divorced

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №50918
 28.07.2011
Wife at the hospital:
PS, I can’t do it anymore.
I played the piano for an hour and a half today, watched a movie, read a book, did yoga and run, washed 2 times (and with all these female lotions), made a manicure.
The server did not get up!! to
I hate Wednesday.

[ + 61 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50917
 28.07.2011
Why do the Americans bomb Gaddafi?
Yyy: Well, because he oppressed his citizens with cheap loans, free education and medicine, and real people-rule.
Thank God, Medvedev will not allow us to do so.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №50916
 28.07.2011
I want a motorcycle :)
I think I know what to give you for your birthday :)
She : What?
He is a bicycle! The same motorcycle, only manual :) and it will be safer :)
I also know what to give you for your birthday :)
He is m?
It is: the hand! The same sex, only handmade :)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50915
 28.07.2011
What do you do in your free time?
I am sleeping
Is it a hobby?
I: No, I am just tired

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №50914
 28.07.2011
The arrival of relatives is good. It strengthens the family and moral values, brings people together and makes life meaningful, but to suck, to mess, in the vase is IMHO Overbor...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №50913
 28.07.2011
XXX is
People simply did not work in Morga. The bodies did not sew or tear.

YYYY
Work in the Morga - Shake

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