bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №50912
 28.07.2011
Stricken by the battle, a lot of mushrooms are coming out of the forest. One grandmother did not like it very much that the man with a basket of white did not give her a place, after 15 minutes of whirling, at the stop when it became quieter, the grandmother decided to humiliate the man on the whole car: a man! And you are going to get rid of it!"
The man thought for a short time and answered loudly, "Why will you not get any more foolish from you!"
The wagon lay. = D

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №50911
 28.07.2011
The xxx:
Yesterday we watched "The Hostage". There closer to the end of the film is already an auction - they sell kidnapped girls (virgins). And customers are trading. prices are called, such as "100 000", "150 000"... At the end it sounds "sold for 500 000!" (euro, apparently). My husband and I cried at the same time:
She: to hide, live people are being traded! O_0
I am: to shrink! Half a lot for Grandma! 0 - O

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50910
 28.07.2011
Is it bad to change?

I don’t know, do you want to change?

Is there an ASA? This is a non-contact conversation.

Better you go in.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №50909
 27.07.2011
Q: What kind of music do you like?
See also: Camera
What is Chanson?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №50908
 27.07.2011
The ants have settled in me and bring out the claw. I would never have imagined that...

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №50907
 27.07.2011
Well when, well when Yandex will disclose the correspondence of our officials

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №50906
 27.07.2011
In the most favourite place of rest of Krasnoyarsk and the residents of Khakasiya on Lake Shira for a photo with an exotic animal became in a row.

At lunchtime, the photographer Nicholas briefly distracted himself from his pet, and the crocodile, heated in the sun, could not resist the temptation and dive into the water.

We were sailing on catamaran. I thought the barrel was lying. The stick began to move away, and it was a crocodile. We were almost crazy of fear. Panic began across the lake. Everyone jumped out of the water, said a resting woman on the lake.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №50905
 27.07.2011
My story for a frequently encountered advertisement:

Dinner after a Metallica concert. And here, as soon as the meal comes to an end, from the mouths of the participants of the group the question is heard: "Who is in charge of the plates?"

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50904
 27.07.2011
In Omsk, parents named their daughter in honor of President Medvedev - Medmie. This is an abbreviation of “Medvedev Dmitry Anatolyevich”
Well, though not a boy and not in the days of Yeltsin Boris Nikolaevich.
I would be a fucker ;-)

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №50903
 27.07.2011
I don’t like to work until lunch, I hate after lunch.

[ + 76 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50902
 27.07.2011
I spoke to my wife on the phone:
I'm the sun, now soon have to bring a notebook, you look for it to turn on and pay the courier, 60k on the table.
Wife – Oh, and it’s on the note? And they are no more...I went to the shops like my mom and sat in the coffee shop.
Am I really stupid?
Wife - (second after 5-10) Mom says no!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №50901
 27.07.2011
The news:
The son of the people's artist of the RSFSR Mikhail Boyarsky Sergey intends to take part in the elections to the State Council of St. Petersburg. Sergey Boyarsky is included in the list of intra-party voting of unicorns.

M to D. His father is a musketeer, his son is a cardinal’s guard.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №50900
 27.07.2011
Judging by the number of criminal personalities in the EP, the "People's Front" should be called "Strafbat" by the idea.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №50899
 27.07.2011
Our attitude to aviation is different, depending on gender. Girls love pilots, men like pilots.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №50898
 27.07.2011
From the tape:
A fun proposal was made in St. Petersburg. It is proposed to prohibit tourists and residents from wearing shorts. It turns out, the appearance of the inhabitants of the city very often does not correspond to the proud status of the place, and tourists, of course, will embarrass the northern capital, appearing in an inappropriate form.
I.Arcyshevsky proposes to equate wearing shorts in the city to petty hooliganism

Commentary :
xxx: I offer tank-like women for 120kg on the beaches to recognize as small hooligans and make them turn into tents.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №50897
 27.07.2011
When I was 7 years old, I smoked chopsticks, after almost burning my grandfather's car, I hung up.
(in the last minute)
But then I burned it anyway.

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №50896
 27.07.2011
Edic Pan: Fse friendship pizzades
I am your friendship Stalker
I: I am your friendship in the shift there here
Edic Pan: May is not yours
I: May thy in sims three plant and die of hunger
I: May you work on paper to write and change
I: May thy attitude of myma prayer
Edic Pan: May ignore yours
Edic Pan: May your phone be removed and thrown out of your heart
May you smell yourself.
I: May out of your brain moonay pahodka to look after and fax to tell
Edic Pan: May you go on the letter

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №50895
 27.07.2011
I walked through the street and saw a tent selling a school office. Over this tent hanged the slogan: "Write, read!"
The brain on the machine added: "Write, read, draw a guisey!!and "

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №50894
 27.07.2011
She
Pull you in the sponge.

He is
They are in the chicken!

She
Then kick you in the stomach.

She
Hopefully not in the chicken.

He is
No) Sleep anymore, the cushion ?

He is
OPS...

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №50893
 27.07.2011
My father said:
“Look, the son grows up, he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke... It doesn’t even matter to fuck.”
O_O

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