bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №33678
 29.07.2010
<Werkzeug> Under the new rules, vampires in the United States cannot be called vampires, because this is offensive. Now the politically correct term "bloody non-Americans" is used to designate them.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33677
 29.07.2010
<@jAngel> Another news: "This month a new security system for the World Wide Web was launched." - The question - WHERE was it launched? and :)
<@WeissWolf> it is launched into space... in which case, the satellite downloads all the info from the inuit into space and explodes the earth =)
<@jAngel> ah. And the satellite begins to randomly wander into space all the received information and, since 90% of the downloaded into space will be porn, - the distant alien civilizations, having received the signal, will know exactly WHY mankind died once.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №33676
 29.07.2010
XXX: What would you do today?
YYY: Set up squid
YYY: It is very exciting.
ZZZ: on the freeze
ZZZ: Without Gui
YYY: With one hand.
YYY: Hang up with your feet.
YYY: And around people who will throw bricks into you.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №33675
 29.07.2010
2loopoff: I passed the morning exam in physics... written
Winnie the Pooh: o_o
2loopoff: the question in the test: what part of the light represents the blue ring on the Olympic flag.
2loopoff: Well, I pretended, I remember exactly Africa’s black. Tamara Nigeri, China - yellow (well yellow eyes there), it is also clear, there are two options Europe and America... well I have a little America - blue, so the correct answer is America)))
Winnie Pooh: uhahahaa, exactly blue
2loopoff: but, strangely enough, in Europe there were more blue...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №33674
 29.07.2010
and Vanilla Core
Are you on Linux?
Siem
It sounds like a drug.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №33673
 29.07.2010
xxx: Now in the store saw the price "Eighth in oil, g/b. Production of Spain".
XX: There is no limit to human deceit.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №33672
 29.07.2010
Ghost
Possession of weapons is disciplined.
Gera
I hope
Ghost
discipline of the surrounding, bgggg))

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №33671
 29.07.2010
I am standing, my potatoes in the dishwasher. A neighbor comes into the room:
Will you cook potatoes?
(The Maltese break)
No, I’m going to go through the passengers. And my her, because throwing it dirty is disrespectful.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №33670
 29.07.2010
It would be surprising if someone like me suddenly wrote to you, “Buy me a pasta.”
XHHH: I am a very left-handed person who wrote this phrase.
XHH: I think now what he meant
I think he’s not even from my city.
A man wanted a pasta and went to the store.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
He wrote to me to hurry XD

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №33669
 29.07.2010
XX: guys how to survive in a difficult situation (call in private)
YY: The Pastinor!) for no reason)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №33668
 29.07.2010
The best thing I learned was to knock in my nose with a newly purchased touch smartphone...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №33667
 28.07.2010
And in 2012 there will be a big holiday of Orthodox programmers: 1024 years from the day of the baptism of Russia :)

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №33666
 28.07.2010
The conversation of two comrades:
Can you lend me 3000 rubles?
2: I only have 5 one note, will it be delivered?
I will borrow from my neighbor $2,000.
I think you have become a victim of your own financial pyramid.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №33665
 28.07.2010
X: Do you never communicate with Julia?
Y: I communicate
X: Have you reconciled?
Y : No
Y: We did not argue.
y: we are in a state of chronic sexual intercourse in the brain
X: It would have been decided for a long time. Yes or No
Y: Interruption is not good. Someone should have an orgasm.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33664
 28.07.2010
P: That’s strange shit.
Both in shit.
P: She is alone.
P: I am alone
D: Well could not my girlfriend that?)))
Q: Did you leave her alone?? to
p is (bow)
D: I thought you’d just give blood, I’m a good guy
P: That is what I gave!
P: All in the system
Blood and shit?

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №33663
 28.07.2010
Nathaniel (00:38:52 28/07/2010)
Sasha, I want a movie! A long kiss for the night!

Nathaniel (00:39:23 28/07/2010)
I will pay!

ÿ (00:43:34 28/07/2010)
I am crying, don’t cry!!! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №33662
 28.07.2010
Leysan: In our department, two 50-year-old aunts work, always complaining that they are cold when the air conditioner works. Do you know what one thought?
Leysan: In the summer, in the heat, at almost 40 degrees, we should turn on the air conditioner, she gets her (from the house brought) heat fan!

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №33661
 28.07.2010
Conversation with future wife:
She: Let’s make the engraving on the rings.
She: XXX(name) and ZZZ(name)??? to
He says, “A can I "one ring that governs all". ))

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33660
 28.07.2010
In my childhood, I was a very cynical child. Mom told me - I was 3 years old, I sit down, next to the TV is the cartoon "The Maya Bee". I'm on the screen - zero attention, and the bee there is screaming, screaming something. Finally, apparently not able to withstand, I turn around and say in an icy tone: "Bee Maya, don't whisper, you will be saved."

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33659
 28.07.2010
XXX: The feeling that this summer we were all roasted...

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