bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130159
 01.07.2016
I was confused that a super important person, who needs holograms to scream at them, who demands not to be distracted, works from a home with small children?
My boss is flamboyant too, and he also works from home, but he has a cabinet at home, with sound insulation in which he locks on the key, and there is a boxer's pear that he reluctantly comes in when angry. But the subordinates do not fall.
Trolls, well you at least think of the fiction to the end, or too thick.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130158
 01.07.2016
rol_foster: "The child should have a happy childhood!" - The parents said and began to choose a two-month-old girl table hockey.
Congregatio: What an outrageous violation of traditions! Why not a helicopter? and :)
role_foster: Noah...
I don’t need a helicopter to play. :)
Congregation is straight. And throwing his socks into him with the screams "Banzai!", trying to knock it down? and :)

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130157
 01.07.2016
More than 100 Nobel Prize winners protest for GMOs
The signatories called for the "Greenpeace" to stop the campaign against GMOs and "Golden Rice". There is no evidence that the use of GMOs is harmful to human or animal health, the scientists said. The mass spread of gold rice will help to cope with diseases caused by vitamin A deficiency in the human body. The deficiency of this vitamin is the cause of 1 to 2 million deaths annually, scientists say. Greenpeace wants millions of people to die like before.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130156
 01.07.2016
1 July 2016. of Belarus. The denomination. If before the Russians, who accidentally went to the Belarusian shops sites, grabbed the heart, why so expensive, then now they will look for a puddle, so cheap!
Z is.Well, and a sad joke about the fact that before Belarus was a country of millionaires, and now there will be a payout. All with denomination.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130155
 01.07.2016
The DPRK called the launch of its ballistic missile quite successful.

From now on, all launches, when the missile did not fall on Kim Jong-un, are considered successful.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130154
 01.07.2016
here and there:

Today I go out the street in the morning, I run almost, I am late to work. The girl of the broken-looking approaches, flashes playfully and cries: “Hear, beautiful, surprise me!” And my tooth finally fell off, right on the go. I carried it to the trash. I gave her, I ask: "Surprised?"...

/////////////////////

Something has fallen? Tooth or tooth? Answer me, I am worried.
Chel, who handed a part of the thyroid clear pen will not leave anyone indifferent!

///////////////////

I had a guess "back", but I like the course of your thoughts more!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №130153
 01.07.2016
Well, what a baron, the text shows that the ordinary office boy on the phone, but instead of the office he sits around the houses with the output of the same plankton and is wildly angry.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130152
 01.07.2016
It is correct to say not "lazy person", but "a person with a limited desire to work."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №130151
 01.07.2016
Romanians wander around the local market, offering to buy "smartphone - new, in packaging, with charging, for only 2000 rubles". The market is traded by an elderly Armenian - a loading man who has seen a lot in life and looks at everything with the tranquility of the sphinx. A young Zigeuner comes to him and begins to rub the goods. The Armenian stared sadly at him from the top down and said, “You think, if you’re a jerk, you’re a fool, right?”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130150
 01.07.2016
I got a call from the Russian Post. I asked where I ordered such a good tea.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №130149
 01.07.2016
The Russian sanctions against Turkey.

Turkey has surrendered and is asking for the introduction of Russian tourists.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130148
 01.07.2016
xxx: I came out of the dining room with a cloth, I carried in a plate, I went with our staff in the elevator, around the men.
XXX: and one of his backs approaches me in a corner.
XXX: I told him, you’re going to get into my exile now.
xxx: (I meant cake), and everyone got into the elevator from laughter

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130147
 01.07.2016
What do you know about damned deadlines?

The translation of the Bible into the Chuvash language began in the 19th century and was completed in the 21st century.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №130146
 01.07.2016
In the Zoo of Tyumen, a struts went to a goat.
Is this the one that the tiger dropped before?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №130145
 01.07.2016
- The hostess, a big girl, I explain once - the hunt for a snake:
At home in the evening you turn on the lights, remove the underwear and forget to shut up the curtains - all, in five minutes, the windows are hit by a pair of mushrooms))
Regardless of size, but depending on size.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130144
 01.07.2016
The employee has a double anniversary. 10 years in the company and 40 years in the company.
Walked a walk. In an empty warehouse at the time. They organized competitions.
Competition to take off the head of the chief cylinder (head cover). Pumpkins for winter hats.
When such a possibility, mortals, will be.
The treasurer almost killed the drinker:
The thirty-year-old dild for a meter ninety-nine had nothing better to come up with than to squeeze with the onion and throw the hood of his unchanging balloon to whisper: “You have deceived this warehouse.” I shot. It fell. has won. That the bow was a teenager, and the arrow with a soft tip was discovered quickly, but... it was funny and somehow not very.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №130143
 01.07.2016
xxx: We have a transitional title of fool on the yard parking lot. There are about 30.5 parking spaces. Thirty and another half. Neither there nor here. You go so, you look, stands a muddle, two meters in front of him and two meters behind him. It is obvious, a fool. Everyone knows that these are the most semi-parking places. No, if we parked like in Paris, there would probably be 31 places. Parking is a meter in front of the car. Well, hole, people don’t trust each other, say, I’ll get up close, and I’ll be pressed behind, and what to do? In the brains of a complex design such as going out after parking and see if you’ve stuck someone – it’s not for us. Each of us is a wolf. I woke up perfectly tonight. Half a meter in front, half a meter behind. There was a parking lot, I will report. I was, fucking, happy with myself! And what? He went to the store. During this time, the cars have come and gone several times. I am a fool today =)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130142
 01.07.2016
This

Today I go out the street in the morning, I run almost, I am late to work. The girl of the broken-looking approaches, flashes playfully and cries: “Hear, beautiful, surprise me!” And my tooth finally fell off, right on the go. I carried it to the trash. I gave her a gift and asked: "Surprised?". She said "Oh#$t..." and went on. This is the 80th grade pickup.)

Something has fallen? Tooth or tooth? Answer me, I am worried.
Chel, who handed a part of the thyroid clear pen will not leave anyone indifferent!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130141
 01.07.2016
Miguel: When I moved to Astrakhan 20 years ago, there was a shop near our home.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №130140
 01.07.2016
From Habr:
and thanks. The logical completion of the development of this modification can be the introduction in the game of the support of the game rooms with the creation of the appropriate game server... I vote with both hands, feet and hair.
With both hair?(They are :

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