bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84525
 22.07.2013
X: Who is running the XBOX?
SpongeBob Square Pants!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84524
 22.07.2013
in the inform. The pensioner fills out a questionnaire to purchase a social card. Grandma in letters, with makeup, cocktail like that.
- Girl, a point "year of birth" to fill?
not necessarily.
This is a woman, I understand. The manager scanned her passport with retirement.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84523
 22.07.2013
Why is the mouse so ugly?
M: Zaya, you asked for the simplest.
Do you feel sorry for my money?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84522
 22.07.2013
This is:
to this:

Here we go with the girls on the street. Beautiful, dressed, guys smile and everything is fine.
From the cafe next door comes a mother with a son of five years and so. A boy in a Darth Vader mask and with a toy light sword.
We, without speaking, sing the Imperial March. Loudly and with feeling. The boy seems to understand little, but the mother suddenly smiles widely and begins to sing.
Ordinary such a woman, full, with discolored hair and in a colorful dress. She sang better than me.
Do not judge by appearance.

How can I sing the Imperial March? Are there words? Drink if it is not difficult.

There, there, there and there, there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there and there.
There there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84521
 22.07.2013
xxx: a person who hits his website with a dull/growing sound of flying flies/bees/mosquitoes but a noble troll will be...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84520
 22.07.2013
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah)..
WOW: The WOW!!! to
Oh yeah :)
WOW: The BORRRRSTEEETE!!!! to
A. The Cottages
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!! to
Wow, it hurts me!!! to
I want the blood of fruit!!! to
Issue:......................................
And from that moment, Katya stopped eating vegetables and loved borscht.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84519
 22.07.2013
In the press service of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the NSO confirmed only one attempt to jump from the bridge. According to the police, yesterday on the Communal bridge was detained a man who tried to jump into the water for a dispute. He was taken to the Lenin police department, conducted with him preventive work, after which he disappeared the desire to jump.

NHS News

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84518
 22.07.2013
A 2.5t horse is a mammoth.

Clean for reference is a normal load. Here, from 4 tons, the horse-weighting horse begins. Up to 12 tons.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84517
 22.07.2013
On the whole "beer restaurant", BEER, they only have two toilets!! They are either stupid or very evil.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84516
 22.07.2013
In Hogwarts, boxing and linguistics should be taught, so that the magicians can lightly pull out the stick and clearly, without stopping, proclaim the spell.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №84515
 22.07.2013
At all times, engineers have sought to reduce the likelihood of accidental damage to anything related to fuel. Is it not funny?
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nothing has been funny for a long time. What are you?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №84514
 22.07.2013
After that, the director’s friends came to the conclusion that this place was not for her, and she was appointed as an inspector to interfere with other directors. When unsuitable for this work was found, she was pushed into the parliament, where she, as they say, found herself.
© Clive Lewis "The Silver Chair"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84513
 22.07.2013
I convert books in one run, about 1000 at a time.
Suddenly, almost on the last book, the whole process comes up with an unknown error.
Only the title of the book is known: "Diverse No. 1"

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №84512
 22.07.2013
A funny story happened to my friend in my youth.
He went to a lady in a neighboring village in the evening on his motorcycle Planet-5. His light was bad, and he was wearing glasses.
So, he planted her to himself and they went on the ground path.
Suddenly she asks him, “Wanna, do you see a tree?”
He answers: "I see"
She: "And then you are going to go to him???and "

[ + 47 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84511
 22.07.2013
The employee of the Toyota service began his story as follows: “I sit, I don’t touch anyone, I fix the prius...”.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84510
 22.07.2013
No one has seen green men.
WOW: I don’t know which village you live in... they’re on every light.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №84509
 22.07.2013
The daughter explains to her wife on the phone: "This button is on the left -"left", it's the hand you don't write.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84508
 22.07.2013
Here is here:

The people! Have you persisted? Since when has it become fashionable to worship drug addicts? Panicides, endless posts in social networks and media. He died and died. Keep your head on your shoulders.

Since the days of The Doors, Nirvana, Bob Marley, Pink Floyd and many others like you, addicts have given the world a true drug – real music!

[ + 34 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84507
 22.07.2013
Here is the medicine, removed the complicated tooth free of charge. A big hole hurt for a week. I took a picture, went to the canvas to see what he is not healing, the doctor got a burst of 3 mm and a root of 5 mm from there, this doctor himself is a fig, I am still silent about myself, shock to date, a week has passed and everything is healing. How is it??? I'm really scared, I'm a small girl fragile, it's scary to go to doctors again.

[ + 73 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84506
 22.07.2013
[13:58:43] hlggi: I remember a case I had. Early in the morning, a guy calls and says, “But where did I go?” and I answer, “On the 17th Intergalactic Jedi Council,” he’s with such a lost hologram, “Please, I’m sorry,” and adds, “Let the force come with you,” and puts the trumpet.

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