bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №16773
 26.05.2009
We asked the Americans how they celebrated the New Year. What she answered us:
“Well... everyone is happy, drunk, walking until night...such as you do here every Saturday.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №16772
 26.05.2009
My sister was born yesterday! My family!! to
A jump of years?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №16771
 26.05.2009
The Russian people are invincible. The headquarters blocked the access of drivers to the gas tank, so they now pour water from the office cooler in half a cup home.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №16770
 26.05.2009
I went out to the yard in the morning. I stand and smoke. Nearby neighboring boys ride in the sand, play some kind of "daughters-mother" thing. The girl asks the boy:
D: Let’s go here to really hide it...
M: What is it?
D: Well, we’ll hide it here... as if it were real... human graves...

I dropped a cigarette and, trying not to make abrupt movements (no much!He entered the house.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №16769
 26.05.2009
I am a history teacher. The girl comes to take the exam (brunette, in the appearance of an adhesive). He said the questions well and without quarrels. The second question is about the reforms of Peter I. I ask, and why did Peter move the capital? The question caught the girl in a stupor, after which she gave out: "Well, the French captured Moscow and burned it, he decided to postpone it."
The first time he laughed, he didn’t even laugh, but ran over the man in his eyes and couldn’t do anything with himself.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №16768
 26.05.2009
Ra: I started watching Angels and Demons, but when my aunt said she was specializing in quantum biophysics, he got scared, fell under the bed and cried for a long time.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №16767
 26.05.2009
> Shhas walked for a new feed, on the way back went to the "Buyer" - buy to chew to chew at work.
I put the feeder in the camera, the aunt asks – isn’t it a bomb? Type suspicious glandular with a bunch of wires)
I answer her honestly – it’s not a bomb, it’s a power unit.
> Yale kept to not add "for bombs" )

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №16766
 26.05.2009
He is:
Tell me about your first time.
She :
I was stuck in the battery.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №16765
 26.05.2009
XXX is
The fifth edition of the edition (
UUU
What is that?
xxxx
You know, I’m a deer at a beer factory.
UUU
Has he been signed forever?
xxxx
If it were. In fact, the first four for drunk and fired, but the latter is a complete fool (
UUU
So what did he do?
xxxx
It is the fool who has entered the process-controlling trunk and changed one of the lines of production, for, in his words, “I like the dark more than I like it,” isn’t it a fool?

[ + 72 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16764
 25.05.2009
B-ReD: I am on schoolchildren of the present... 90% calmly drink 3-4 jaguars every day at least.
Remington: And they won’t catch the fucks...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №16763
 25.05.2009
The sweet community of virgins, as always, burns.
XHH: You know, I noticed here that after I swallowed sperm, I began to get sick and stomach pain a little later.
Has anyone encountered such a phenomenon?
NN: You know, I’ve noticed here that after I try to wash a cat in the washing machine, it starts to scratch and scream.
Has anyone encountered such a phenomenon?
Spermatozoa are looking for the uterus and, not finding it, are very angry and get stuck in the abdomen.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №16762
 25.05.2009
I have a girlfriend I have been dating for a long time, and recently met her mother.
Her father is just an officer. A former military and very fun man.
So just then her ancestors went to the country for 3 days and she invited me. well I
I bought wine, candy and rubber thinking about continuing communication at night. Sitting and drinking for a while.
And I have to say that the girl I love very much makeup to use...
At eight in the morning, a bell knocks on the door. I stand up from a little bitch in the trousers and look for something to throw, and
I put my feet in the girl’s pink boots and open the door. There are her ancestors.
The scene is silent, her mother has OO eyes, and her father is silent, and then says:
Oh well Annie. Without makeup, you are not like yourself.
I was fifth out of the hood.

[ + 956 - ] Comment quote №16761
 25.05.2009
Here every one of the here fasting most often declares what he is "All in white, and all around pidarasa";
I recently found an interesting idea:

“Normal people are slowly judged with roadmen, with JECs, with menta, with wretched officials, with the AutoVAZ, after all...

If normal people were at least 10% of the population of Russia - 14 lam, that is, (it is at least 14 million). The situation would be a scrap, but corrected, since "these bad people" would be more expensive to judge, spend money on lawyers and pay compensation than to normally work.

Is it hard to organize such a flashmob??? and"

I think you are "good people" and :)

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №16760
 25.05.2009
from news
Three-year-old girl bought an excavator at an online auction

It is that when the parents of Pippi Kinlan were going to bed, the girl approached the computer and started playing with the mouse and keyboard.
In the morning, the mother of the child Sarah read an email from the New Zealand online auction Trade Me: "Thank you for buying the excavator from Kobelco. I hope you like it" The letter also the cost of the purchase - 20 thousand New Zealand dollars.
Sarah first asked her husband Reid why he bought the excavator.

“I imagined my wife coming to me in the morning and saying what a fucking thing I bought the excavator!
They have tough kids.)

[ + 494 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16759
 25.05.2009
Today was... I walked through the street of a small town, crowded with all kinds of rumors like Gypsies, Uzbeks, etc. I noticed how two gypsies aged 16 years old, not afraid of anyone and anything around, openly demanded something from the old veteran. At first I did not attach much importance to it. But after one of the bastards pushed this veteran quite sensitively, I couldn’t withstand it. Remembering the boy in the resuscitation, who was beaten by the rapists on May 9, without unnecessary conversations, he approached and fucked the man who pushed the veteran to his mouth. In general, the situation is almost the same, with the only difference that these bastards have done me less harm than the bastards have done to that guy. The result - I sit at home with my hand tied (not a fracture) + a lot of sickness, bleeding, and so on. At the hospital, thank God, it didn’t happen.
I’m all about what’s offensive. And it is a pity for those people who went to death, defending their homeland. It’s a pity that many people are scratching them now. Scary for the future. If this is happening now, what will happen in 10, 50, 100 years? Think about...
P.S And I don’t care that some people are tired of quotes without humor.
P.S to P.S Thank you Tom for a nice word. The young man.
by P.P.S. Don’t be surprised that the fools beat me so easily – I’m only 15 years old, I don’t play sports.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №16758
 25.05.2009
Let’s say to the developers of Diablo 3 that their promise to release the game in the spring has not been fulfilled. Otherwise, your diplomas, eggs and exams would cry. and ;)

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16757
 25.05.2009
I propose to recognize the BOR as a media! and more))

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №16756
 25.05.2009
For the newcomers:
White bracelet is a sign of loneliness/active search.
You can buy it in Adidas (100p) or Eurosets (10p!!!)
Cheers, let everyone know.

ZY.Today was in the nearest Eurosite - any bracelets are but no white... bought something about O_O

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №16755
 25.05.2009
My daughter (8 years old, passionate lover of Animal Planet) saved me today from a murder... We’re going with her in a traffic jamming in the car. Nearby is a reminded right-handed Japanese woman with a boy in a sports suit and a hat. Periodically he opens the door and tastingly spit on the road looking around the sides with a dull expression on his face. After the third time I was almost tired and I said loudly:
The next time he opens the door, I’ll knock him in the door.
The girl grabs me in the hand and says:
Don’t be nervous, the animals are also throwing the territory.

Indeed, "The mouths of the baby..." - the food...

and Grazhdanin.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16754
 25.05.2009
<John_Doe> When Will Nuclear Fuel Cars Arise? Throw a few grams of enriched uranium into the tank of your machine – and ride for a lifetime.
<Owl> Good luck, it will not be long...

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