In the first grade, I bought an Armenian dictionary in a bookstore.
The language. But the words to teach, of course, did not stop. I only learned the alphabet.
During this period, neither the parents nor the teachers knew.
I have no "just a pattern like that"."

Give me a foot! I started writing the same sparkles from the third grade, but only with my fictional letters, even my girlfriends, infected with me, came up with their alphabets. We were four in the class. Then my alphabet was supplemented with special symbols, so that some of the most common words would not be written entirely. The system worked well in school and institute. And now, if I want nobody to understand anything, I write crocodiles))) And yes, because. The computers then just appeared, and the lessons of computer science with basics were, on personal experience I was convinced that I am not friends with programming. Probably the characteristics of the natural science of the mind.

Does anyone remember the man with the dollars and the grandfather on the six?

The 13th (c)

Why are the white bear and the brown bear different species, and the Negro and the European are not?
The Political Correctness.

They rested somehow with the former MC in the company of my girlfriend and his friend.What she had, that he at the time had no sex.Now my former, like a true friend, began to brutally slander them.After some time he broke me in the head the idea:"Genial"he hung a large towel in the room, hanging above his belt, he supposedly started to stand and get angry.After my long "untimely!"he broke me.I hanged a large towel in the room, sat above his belt, he supposedly started to stand and get angry.I sat down and kicked in my knee.
We all cried...

As for cooking:
Communicate with a girl.

I: I’m very good at cooking, now I’m cooking peelings.
girl: ha thinks the pelmeni he cooked)))
I: First glued, and then cooked
girl: o_0... I want you straight ?

Learn to cook men.

xxx: Is there such a phobia that when you sit on the toilet, you are afraid that it will collapse under you?
yyy: Fuck, friend, I think you discovered something new in psychiatry!

Returns from functions. Imagine there is a girl Olya. All she can do is check whether the number is straight or not. You tell her a number, and she says “yes” if it’s straight, or “no” if it’s not straight.

She does nothing anymore.

And then one day you ask her a number, and she is silent and answers nothing. The cock. And all because she had removed the return operation. She checks the number, but she cannot answer, and you don’t know the answer.

Then she was sent to the institute of neurosurgery and sent a new return in exchange for the removed one. And she again began to answer "yes" or "no". And then the children understood how important it was that the function had a return and why it was needed and how bad it was to live without it.

Everyone knows why a battery is needed, but few people know that it can’t be thrown away once it’s out of charge. And this is written on each battery, but it is not specified where to put it then?

One battery thrown into the garbage can pollute about 20 square meters of land with heavy metals.

So where to give them?
Any Ikea store will accept used batteries and batteries, as well as daylight lamps. Contact the Ikea service department at the exchange and return office.

You can put a box to collect batteries and lamps, and then bring them.
You can just tell everyone uneducated about the harm of batteries.

Yesterday I went to the operating room, I see the anesthesiologist has been waiting for a long time, looking with reproach. I, in order to relieve the tension that has arisen between us, I begin an unforced dialogue with him: "Don't worry, today we will work carefully, not like yesterday, and I meet with the eye with the still awake patient...

Have you seen aliens?
YYY: Yes, I passed by once.
He was then the mayor of Kiev.

Q: Could I not get fixed?
YYY: Of course, stay lean. Not like Scarlett.
XXX: What about her?
YYY: The wind has gone to hell.

Genom: I watched Ren TV and realized that I was nothing. There are extrasensors, aliens and indigo children around, and I’m an ordinary person!
Genom: Started WoW and felt all right)

A. Epic Feel

I wrote the website "House of parquet". The owner abandoned the domain, it was disconnected and redeemed...now the customer, looking at my portfolio, wrote a letter: "Creatively...I like this site especially"...I open, and there...)))))) porn with old ladies...video, photo...

There should be an outline in every portfolio.)

xxx: In order for Russia to heal, it is necessary to grow a road with an area of 17,075 400 km and carefully impose it on the territory of the state.
YYYY: And spit again.

From the discussion of the topic: "Created a dress that when excited a girl becomes transparent"

Baster: I already imagine a bunch of naked girls in shoe shops... ;)

XXX The Village. 3 hours of night. There are 2 cats on the street - our and the neighbor's. I go out with a lighthouse - I chase a stranger, I take my own. I’m carrying a shaker and I think he’d comment on it: "mam, let’s, the messengers will see..."

The Stranger:
Yesterday I forgot to turn off the lights, I come to the parking lot - battery at zero. While filming, smoking from a comrade and so on - lighted the phone. He went home with joy. In the morning I get the phone...I was not taught from childhood to turn off the lights...

Video of the accident:

RFF
It’s a pity a big black jeep because it’s a good car and it’s not her fault that it’s the idiot behind the wheel.

Life is not the events that were and will be, but the events that are remembered and awaited.

I used to think that all the stories of Karcev and Zhvanetsky about Odessa humor, conversations and intonations are such old good jokes that have little to do with reality. However, Odessa takes exactly 20 minutes to convince that this is all true: they really say it.

I wait for a taxi called in front of the airport building, suits a local bombardment, gray-haired, with golden teeth, over 60. Further without entering:

Will we go?
Thank you, they are following me.
Turn around to leave:
And will we wait? It’s as if they’ve placed a table on your arrival and hold it.

The arrival of Jora turns out to be an equally glorious guy. By the tenth minute of the trip, he already tells how they and the shurin, sending wives with children to their grandmother in Melitopol, shoot in Arkady a girlfriend and sweat 50 hryvnia into cowards striptease at the bar “here near”:
“You understand, in Odessa for one man with a sword, ten those who are without a sword. How else is it here.”

The beach. A couple is 50 years old. A man is going to shake the cover from the sand.
Missy be careful! Do not shake on the guys!
What kind of guys. Do you know they are from Russia?

Bar on the beach. I go for the second glass of quinoa. The Barman:
Do you just want to drink or is it really delicious?

When a stranger suddenly speaks to you on the street in a language that you do not know, there are three fundamentally different answers:
I’m not talking ski.
Do you speak ski?
I do not understand you.

In Odessa, in this situation, they respond as delightfully as possible:
Sorry, you don’t understand us.