In second grade I did not want to go to school. In the morning she got up before everyone, hiding things (the guy left) and herself under the bed. What I thought, I probably go out later, I'll be a little offended and don't have to go. In the morning, they were looking for me, telling me where I was.In the end, when I went out, it turned out that it was Sunday. This is a failure (

What is the most disgusting secret you are hiding right now?



DARTHVICKER: My wife went into a drunkard with her colleagues and ran into shit. I had difficulty bringing her home. She cut off, arranged drunk cries, blew - it was a nightmare and not for the first time. When I put her in bed, I went and joked on the runway next to her car, and then told her that she had done it when she was drunk and that our neighbor had seen her do it. She discovered it when she went to work the next day. Since then, she has not been drunk on people, and it happened 4 years ago. If she still allows herself, then only one drink with her colleagues after work and that’s all.

I have a friend in Germany. All things work. And then she got an offer to work in South Africa as the head of some department. She gladly told me, and I was like this:

Stop, South Africa is Africa!

Well yes.

You go there to be the boss. Black people will not listen to you. They are lazy, unlike you, the Germans, they are not disciplined.

All is understandable. You believe in stereotypes about Africa. It is the 21st century, it has not been so long ago. Yes, and you’re from the post-Soviet space, you’re a bit racist about black people there. In fact, everything is different.



If you want, let’s see. She went there in January and worked. No one listens to her, does not want to work, is openly despised. In March, she openly hated all her black employees (there were white employees who listened to her) and decided to fly back to Germany. Europe is closed to flights. Just recently arrived from South Africa, all nervous, evil. She tells everyone about life in South Africa, and the Germans who know her don’t believe, now think that she is racist and has invented everything. The propaganda cape works in Europe.

He witnessed a dialogue in the smoking room.

A man and a woman of fifty years talked.

In general, I am constantly asked on the street how to go somewhere.

You have such a look.

(D) A bit awful – which one?

A second, two, three...

As if you know everything.



I was very curious what thought went through the guy’s head in those three seconds.

She was small, 5 years old. Dad came back from a trip, guests came, party.

And here I mysteriously say:

But you don’t know what mom does at night when daddy isn’t there, and I know!

Everyone is frozen, everyone is curious about what Mom does at night while Daddy is not there.

After lasting the theatrical pause, having looked at many of them, I continue:

She thinks I’m sleeping and I see nothing, but I see everything. She turns the light on, gets the book and reads!

More presidents of Israel have been born in Belarus than presidents of Belarus.

For those who do not believe - On the territory of Belarus were born the first and third presidents of the State of Israel Haim Weizmann and Salman Chazar, the prime ministers Menahem Begin, Itshak Shamir, Shimon Peres, who held positions of prime minister and president

In general, as in the autumn, my daughter declares that we will need jellows for technology tomorrow. I look at the clock, it’s seven o’clock, it’s already dark. I picked up the light and said I went.

They came to the nearest forest, left the car on the road and went to the forest. My daughter sits under the oak, and I light her a candle. A man’s voice from behind. The conscious stranger, I am.

SNS – What are you doing here?

I am looking for a jellyfish.

In the meaning?

I need to go to school tomorrow.

What, what is in the dark?

I remembered my daughter, so she said.

My daughter said she got as much as she needed.

In general, a man walked with a dog on the outskirts of the forest, there came a car and some guy with a child went to the forest, and it was already dark. They talked about the fact that if school needs something, students remember it at the last moment.

When the street dictates the houses, sooner or later your home will become a fortress.

My aunt’s name in her virginity was Cocher. She was arranged, therefore, somehow to work in one organization, and the interview was conducted by the head of the department, and when he heard her surname, he immediately said: "I will take!" And he rubs his hands and says about himself, "It has been completed." And immediately led her to meet the girls in the office where she would work. He takes her to the office and says, “Well, the set. Meet: Koneva, Telegina and Kucher.

I thought I had a good imagination, but this is the third day I have been tormented trying to imagine how Sergey Pavlovich Korolev says, "Let's write our missiles under the shell."

My 8 year old son and I were in the car. He started to go to karate classes. I see, next to the track is a huge billboard with MMA type advertising for the weekend spectacular battles and so on. I think I’ll propose to my son, let’s go and see how the adult uncles make meat from mercantial interests to each other. Grush, say my son! Maybe go to battle? Internal is! The child makes round eyes of horror - Daddy! I will be beaten there!

A few years ago, her wife went to the United States, where her longtime friend, who had already emigrated fifteen years before that, lives. There she was able to fit into the local life, has two own cafes. He works day and night, but lives well and needs nothing. Before leaving, she was asked what to bring from home, what she missed. I still remember the answer. Bring two belts of dog wool and a kilogram of seeds.

I got a cold and my throat got sick. I come home from work and complain to my husband.

The throat hurts simply.

I know it will definitely help you! (Note on the mine)

I am joking:

It won’t help, I’ve tried it already.

What is?

What is?

I work in the Mac, today came the courier, said he brought a scrap, said the package for McDonalds, sign up. The manager did not know that something should come, but since it was not necessary to pay anything, and there was no time to deal with it, it was scheduled, the scrap was taken. Suddenly, in a couple of hours, an Englishman comes, speaks only English, and explains:

Some idiot brought my package to you, and showed a passport, named Desmond McDonalds. Everything came to its place, the courier saw the word McDonalds and then he thought about it himself...He helped to move the dishwasher, talked a little about the situation, laughed and said goodbye.

It was 2013, we and the Koreans graduated from the universities and started actively looking for work. They were quite friendly: by joint efforts to compile a resume and support for test tasks, we managed to arrange almost all of us. Almost almost. We had a friend of Kolyan, in joint discussions about what was needed in the resume, and what was not necessary, took an active part, but could not find a job. I have to say that the guy was not stupid, and the portfolio of any of the educational projects he had, but more than 4 months - silence, one refusal. As a result, I asked in the department of personnel for Kolyan, asked to drop the resume, scratched the whole department, and then friends - this idiot "business" email was: "govno.strausa@....."

I remembered when I was a child after the end of the school week, the whole day on the street, sands, hills, snow, fortress was built. Then the snow fell in the winter - not that the fortress, the castle could be built. They lived on the first floor, the snow fell so much that the swarm in the palace building in front of the windows half closed the window (although there were also snowmen throwing the snow, so it was not shameless).

Half Friday, all Saturday My shoes were wet, I ran home, changed my wet socks, put my bags on my feet, then my wet shoes and back on the street.

And on Sunday a strong storm, I had to sit at home. I took my favorite book (Cortis and the Bronze Bird, scattered, without a cover, still lying in the warehouse), read, overwhelmed by the upcoming study. I didn’t have time to read, my mom went to sleep.

In the morning they wake me up, in the apartment it is dark, behind the window, in the kitchen the watermelon boils. On the kitchen window glass - frozen ice, the curtain froze to it. The windows are old, Soviet, with wooden frames, scaly. I don’t want to go anywhere, especially to school. I eat breakfast, dress up and my dad takes me to school. Through the buran, the newly formed swarms, along the freshly submerged paths.

We approach the school, crawl into the bowl, which was opened and it was covered with snow so that it will not be possible to open wide. We climb the doorstep and here I notice that the school is suspiciously dark - no window is burning. Dad shuts the door – it’s closed. On the window next to the door is a sheet of paper. Influenza in quarantine for a week. At that moment, I forgot about the melt and the cold.

He ran the way back, dragging his dad after him and breaking through the swamps, like breaking the Antarctic ice. I came home, the parent went to work, I walked through the frost of sleep in neither eye, poured hot tea with a lemon, wrapped in a puddle, turned on the torcher and began to read yesterday's book, the cat lay in her legs.

And this is probably the best moment in my life. I still sometimes dream: I sit in the heat, drink a delicious tea (why hot tea is always unusually delicious when you come from the cold? I read a good book, the apartment is dark, only a circle of light from the torch. And the snow on the glass shells. No need to go anywhere, no worries, no sadness at all.

The girl told

Last year, her colleague was invited to work at Google with a relocation. She, not thinking long, grabbed things and went to a better life.

Soon there was a coward and the associated self-incarceration.

Then the Negro

Recently, she decided that it was enough, and once Google gave the right to the distance - you can drop into some quiet, quiet country...

The choice fell on Belarus.

XXX: They also look like me.

All these dances with the stars that dance with each other so that they can be looked at and admired.

- all these political shows where they meet and discuss someone or something with important fuckers some experts

- all these let's get married (let's chat, let's talk) where the elderly aunt-leaders talk to some aunt for some man

- all these medical transmissions where they teach to shave properly and cut off the sweater of some aunt from the hall, and conduct such transmissions old card allegedly "doctors" in white coats

- all these degenerative series "universes", "schools", "happy together", "swatts", "voronins", "other kinds of nines" where 35-year-old people calling themselves actors try to make themselves 14-15-year-old schoolchildren

- all these mental series about good menta who in spite of bad life remained good people, but sometimes use dirty methods in their work

- all these series as a parody for mentally retarded who are filmed on the basis of foreign well-successful projects (Clinic, Doctor House, Emergency), but with the help of curved and unskilled strawberries comes out only fecal masses (internal and other hunting)

About the house 2, behind the glass, I don’t want to talk at all.



95% of the time spent on each channel.



Discovery, Animal Channel and National Geographic



YYYYYYYYYYYYY! Ludk, see an intellectual!

xxx: reminded me how I came to practice, to the design department, there just put new comps with Corel, in the department the grandfathers were sitting behind the highlights - drawn on the "boxes". I was engaged in transferring their drawings to a figure for the archive, when the boss came in and asked to change the scale of one drawing, a couple of clicks and the mouse movement and scale changed, he then barely got off the chair... I thought he would run out of the office with screams - "magic, sorcery!"

YYY: And what next?

I was burned in the fire.)

One time, my husband and I left the car on an intercepting parking lot near the subway. In the winter, the snow is immeasurable, around the parking lot is almost in human height.

One morning, he forgot to turn off the light. In the evening, the battery is down to zero. As it happened, in the nearest cars no one, but the husband, running through the parking lot, agreed with the guy who just arrived on a small car. I don’t remember Mark, but something like Mattis.

A man asks him how much he owes. Our Savior just walked away:

Don’t worry, you’ll help me someday.

Sitting in the car, we warm up and see: Matiz tries to park and in the back enters the swarm deadly, and also sits "on the pool". The Books.

We get out of the car at the same time with the guy, and he goes to us:

It seems that “someday” has already arrived :)

We cling to the wire and pull Matiz out of the snow captivity.