bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114793
 14.06.2015
Mikhalkov hired a special man to track information about him in Lurk.
For example, this employee has to check the article "Copyright" several times a day.
And from the sub-section "Copywriters" throw out links to articles "Nikita-one percent".

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114792
 14.06.2015
I’m talking to a guy from the upper shelf. He went to Peter to bury his brother. He tells us:
We wanted to go to my sister’s house to celebrate my birthday.
Are you a lot in the family?
I alone remained.
and?
There are many sisters, but they are all grandmothers. Who will be born? Only I remained.

Not everyone immediately understood what he was talking about. The guy is convinced that genes are very important, and they are transmitted ONLY by the male line. For example, he has another brother, but he is from his mother, so it is not counted.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114791
 14.06.2015
The school!

I’m so old that I’ve seen laptops with flop drives.

He saw him. I worked on such! The students...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114790
 14.06.2015
To the topic of kittens, a familiar professor-historic, slightly turned on the legends of King Arthur, animals are named Murgan, Murdred and Murlin.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114789
 14.06.2015
Genetics is it, it decides.! to
X: No, heredity gives about one-third of the influence on the individual, another-third on the society, and the remaining-third on the conscious efforts of the individual.
All human decisions are influenced by genetics. Even if the person is not aware of it.
Here is an example from Lenin’s story – his older brother was murdered, and he genetically inherited his hatred of the Tsarist regime from him.
XH :...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114788
 13.06.2015
Teens are saddened that the men do not want to take care of, give flowers and other things.
Men sing about the mercantility of their aunts

A couple of years "he cared for" a colleague
Rather, he then told me that he was taking care of when he saw that I was regularly carried off from work.

He sat down at the table next door and quietly read the newspapers near me, all!
Nothing more!

Then I told everyone that he had serious intentions, and I didn’t appreciate the beautiful impulses.

No, nuacho, cheap and angry: sit next to you, read the newspaper about yourself, your aunt, somehow :)))))))))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114787
 13.06.2015
>>> Love is when a relationship is full of j@pa, and you look at the person and think: "I still don't want another".

It is no longer love, but a painful attachment. It is similar to alcoholism and drug addiction - from euphoria to breakdown. Such "love" is even treated with roughly the same means. Unlike the actual.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114786
 13.06.2015
I cannot be silent!
The clever people who invented all this stuff with time translation!(Number of 17496)
It was real.
We are not in Moscow, but in Siberia, but the problem is the same.
We had 4 hours difference with Moscow, many years as we did 3 hours, and then there was the feeling that we didn’t have that time, but somehow we got used to it.
After the spring break, we have:
1st The sun sets at 9 a.m. (it is in June). You could read until 11.
It was dark at 12.
2nd Birds sing all night (that is, what is considered night).
At 4 o’clock it is bright, the sun doesn’t let us sleep, and we don’t have cows in the millionth city to go and have fun with our breasts.
Three After work, we tricked in the past years to sunbath, the hours from 6 to 8 were perfectly warm, and without summer vacation was quite alive.
Now at 7 a.m. it is cold and darkness begins, mosquitoes and mosquitoes begin to eat.

The question is, who will benefit from this and what is the savings of electricity, if the light was not turned on in the evening?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114785
 13.06.2015
On cataclysms, the autopilot can quite say, "there is some hernia in front of asphalt, I will not go."
Ahahah, I’t even leave the house.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114784
 13.06.2015
Three more days of weekend. Please tick it now. Is it now naphira? Men's help with sofas, cranes and shelves - once a year. They roast every day! It is more rational to try to buy, chess-word, I will do so.
----------------
Prepare lunch/dinner only during your vacation.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114783
 13.06.2015
The Preliminary:

Recently I put a wallpaper in the kitchen. One, alone, plus the load of an 8-month-old baby that lies everywhere. In the evening, she cleaned the old plus washed it all, disassembled large pieces. The next day, at night, the child clogged a large wall. One with a taboo. Perfectly succeeded. Well, in the evening I laid the baby and glued small pieces.

So, girls, if it is very hard to do - you will do one, well, even if the hands are not from the ass.
-------
One question, and you also hit your child with one finger?

On what side does the process of conception of a child relate to wallpapers and other household tasks?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114782
 13.06.2015
Recently I put a wallpaper in the kitchen. One, alone, plus the load of an 8-month-old baby that lies everywhere. In the evening, she cleaned the old plus washed it all, disassembled large pieces. The next day, at night, the child clogged a large wall. One with a taboo. Perfectly succeeded. Well, in the evening I laid the baby and glued small pieces.

So, girls, if it is very hard to do - you will do one, well, even if the hands are not from the ass.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114781
 13.06.2015
The majority of people are just afraid to change something in life and sit on their ass straight, not realizing that the time of their only life is irreversibly running away. Don’t be afraid, it’s hard to take the first step.
__________________________________

Your advice only applies if you have nothing to lose. Personally, nothing kept me from changing not only the city, but also the country. Many have something to lose. In exchange for an unclear future?
Sorry, but the feeling of confidence and security for a person will always be stronger than anything else. somehow so.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114780
 13.06.2015
It is 17510.
This is not a relationship, it is a neurosis! Take your hands and go to the psychiatrist.
Dependence on the person who wipes your legs is treated. The faster the better. Don’t waste your time, so little!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114779
 13.06.2015
Sold for the fourth year because the price was inadequate. According to the principle, I will sell a twin in Mukhosransk, I will buy a twin in Berlin for this money. If there is a real desire to earn more / live better, then everything is perfectly sold and moved. Yes, it’s not easy, it requires a lot of money, but everything is real at any age and with any number of children. The majority of people are just afraid to change something in life and sit on their ass straight, not realizing that the time of their only life is irreversibly running away. Don’t be afraid, it’s hard to take the first step.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

If there is a desire, an apartment and can be abandoned, and with a cat walk to the City of Dreams. And then such brave people write stories on debt, say, I am 40 years old, I live in a rental apartment with a company of 4 people, I work on wear and tear, I cannot afford to go out to the hospital, I don’t have enough money, but some sort of shit my countrymen consider me a swallowed Moscow oligarch! Everything was bad, but the prospects remain, fucking. What perspectives? At 45 years old, a stroke? Sorry for such counselors.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114778
 13.06.2015
The question of democracy vs. authoritarianism. To those who like authoritarianism, I suggest not listening at all. Because authoritarianism (unlike democracy) is a form of government in which it is not customary to listen to different opinions.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114777
 13.06.2015
Well, if you agree that the state should help that Vasa to maintain the family, it would be fair if on behalf of the state they would regularly fuck his wife. Whoever eats dinner, you know. At least once a quarter specialized people.
and----
In fact, the state should rather help some Masha to maintain a family. So let the specially trained people fuck you...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114776
 13.06.2015
My wife is preparing for a history exam. He writes:
I was crazy! I look at the phone at 19:45 and the first thought: oh! War is over! % of

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114775
 13.06.2015
About selling the fourth year and the assumption of the overpriced price. One acquaintance sold a house in the usual district of the district center at such a price that it was enough to buy a similar house in the district center, in a prestigious district, to pay for the move and issue all the documents. He sold for a year and a half, then lowered the price to an adequate and sold in a week. I’m still sure he’s on [...]

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №114774
 13.06.2015
Our neighbor is very concerned about the safety of her home and asks to look after her apartment when she leaves for a few days. Yesterday I went out to work in the morning, and in our castle, apparently at night, a note from her was inserted for my mommy. such a noticeable note. Here is, literally, the names, of course I change:

From Ivanowa sq.516,
Evgeny Alekseevne
I went to Vala for a weekend.
With respect. N N N N by 11.06.15

I always thought that this only happens in stupid anecdotes.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna