bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121733
 13.12.2015
Maybe it’s just not worth reproducing when the phone is a luxury, and even the car isn’t? Or are condoms too expensive for you?
.............
Those who don’t have a car don’t like people like you not out of jealousy. You are just a fool. Moreover, another person with a car and a phone would gladly give you a moustache, simply, without all those lawyers and lawyers, behind whom such nonsense is successfully hidden and because of whose spins to hate such proposals on the internet, anonymously.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121732
 13.12.2015
A little bit about "Platon"-a:
The roads are ruined, you see. Routes are tossed. No matter where you look, the track is 70 meters. On the second or third line. The long distance, ah. Twenty-four tons on the rods, no.
Other traces from long-range fighters: assembled asphalt (most often along the edge of the track), ripped pieces of coating. Although with the last gazelle and jeeps do not get worse - in the parking lots where no length meters and fur rebirthed there were no holes suddenly appear.
But this is what it threatens: titanic fines will force long-range fighters to raise the risk rates (and the risks have increased more than a hundred times, the fines are simply mind-blowing), which will be paid by crazy activists-platoons. And it would be OK only for them - then they might be less - but no, except for a handful of short-sighted people enjoying clinical debility of the first degree will pay another one hundred and a half million. And most importantly, the money collected will not go to the MUP, where it would be directed to repair roads, but to the organization without public reporting.
That is, de facto, every voter in favour of "Platon" requires the introduction of a mandatory tax on every citizen of 3-5 thousand. The rub. in favour of a broken company. In many regions, pensions are comparable in size, and real wages do not exceed the spots.

At least think with your head. It is better for the brain, because the head is just a bone.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121731
 13.12.2015
I liked the phrase from Lurk about the adoption of laws: In this country, diarrhea is treated by clogging the ass :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121730
 13.12.2015
Until now, it is pleasant that downloading a movie from a torrent tracker is faster than viewing advertisements in online cinemas.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121729
 13.12.2015
The story of the fastest disappointment in the performance of a girlfriend:
and Wii! The blue...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121728
 13.12.2015
The case occurred in a group dedicated to the Swedish game.
The developers do not plan to add Russian to the game?
There is no Swedish in it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121727
 13.12.2015
(From a discussion of Norman mythology.)
Neradence: Three-Year-Old Thor, Again
A: A three-year old man?
N : Aha
A: I understand correctly that this was the epic appearance of the phrase "mama, bring me back"? XD is

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121726
 13.12.2015
The New People’s Proverb:
"Everyone sees from the height of their sofa"

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №121725
 13.12.2015
Who paints car numbers and people’s faces on Google’s streets?
I want this job, what is called the specialty!?! to

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121724
 13.12.2015
As in a famous joke:

Don’t worry, Vladimir Vladimirovich fills the feeds well. Ask the Rothenbergs.

What kind of Rotenberg?
Any of the Rotenbergs.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121723
 13.12.2015
I met a friend who is running a small car service.
He says he drove nearby at night in a client car, without numbers, documents, lighthouses, etc., a little bulky. Stopped the hookers.
"They’ve been out" said You are gone, Karl!
Yes to Chelyabinsk. and honestly.

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №121722
 13.12.2015
Stones in the pill:

xxx: After the series "Star Wars" I can't watch "Star Wars": already painful childhood and primitive movies.
yyy: After the series "Babylon5" I can’t watch "Star Gate": already painful childhood and primitive movies.
zzz: After the "Star Wars" I can't watch the "Babylon-5": already painfully childish and primitive series.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №121721
 13.12.2015
For the last couple of days, she stood in queues at the passport table, at the clinic, at the notary. I am at the post now.
I think where else to go?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121720
 13.12.2015
My wife and I have this rule: on Sunday morning we got fucked, then all day free.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121719
 13.12.2015
Announcement: "A photographer in costume, with his costumes to photograph children in costumes and children in costumes". Kids in costumes!! What is it?? to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121718
 13.12.2015
I: I drove the car. (I was in the garage)
Wife was shot?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121717
 13.12.2015
XXX: Actually
XXX: Betrayal is a great way to maintain a relationship
This explains even biology and psychology.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121716
 13.12.2015
I read here with my wife From popular recipes:

To give birth to a girl:
During conception, the woman should lie with her head to the south.
Conception should occur under the noise of rain.
A man should wear wool trousers so that everything is warm.
Doing love in the afternoon and on weekdays.

To give birth to a boy:
Hide a tail under the pillow and a soldier hat under the back of the woman.
The head of the woman is turned north.
The spouse must wear free family trousers.
During sexual intercourse, a man must sing.

He presented:

The man runs in, grabs his wife, pulls her to the bed, aligns her on the compass, and with the song "Eye smells" begins to fuck. At the same time, a hat and a soldier hat fall out of the pillow.
Well, if the wife is warned in advance.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121715
 13.12.2015
@lisa: In the distant 1995, immediately after school, I arranged to work in the accounting office of our city-forming enterprise. Computing had just begun, and two young programmers from Peter came to us by call, writing a program to process the first pieces of the mechanical workshop. As the most advanced in IT, I was sent to work with this program. I was familiar with English, like all accounting, as part of the school program... And only now I remembered it and appreciated the joke: the program was called "Iron Slut".

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121714
 13.12.2015
>I want to buy sneakers eggy I need 39 size and my husband beauty winter 41 how to order what there numbers help plys.

How do these people live?

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