Timak: Hockey is better, there for our sick longer

Today I saw: a drunk man of intelligent appearance stands near a tree and tries to urinate with a strong wind. It goes bad, mostly on the pants. In his hearts he cries, “Oh... I’m an aerodynamic!”“!”

I add :

And the moscovites constantly call late in the evening, solve important issues, and are upset to the depths of their hearts when people are not at work for some reason!

and----
When I lived in the Krasnoyarsk time zone (+4 to Moscow) and worked in a large federal company, the moscovites who sat at work liked me to ring the clock at eight o’clock in Moscow. I did not take the phone. He was honestly calling at 9 a.m. of his time. This has long been a problem for me and my colleagues.

We discuss the hole under the clove of the poppy with his sister, the dad naturally connects to the discussion.

Q: And yet why a hole?
Q: That is the nose!
I am under the cloth! We are not so stupid.
C is O! Maybe it’s an ear?! to
I: Dad, I take my words back.

Dear Russians! Please forgive us: we didn’t have time to bite our players before the championship in Brazil.”
Russian team of hockey.

Algeria is happier than Algeria. Another goal at the gates of Russia and they will accept Islam

I am 31 years old, on the dating site found 20+ visits to his page from "Anna 52 years old, a psycho-optimist"... replied.

XXX: How did you call?
X: And you didn’t come?
YYY: I wanted to ask if I should leave.
YYY: and then
Then a ants fell on my head.
YYY: But this is a completely different story.

Where can I smoke a cigarette here?
In Russia, smoking is prohibited, you will have to leave.

You think we’re working on X-Files, right? We tried to fix the blue insulator, we could not wrap it off, because in the galleries in which we work, it is impossible to fix the end of the insulator. Unable to use security techniques.
The MX.

Our products are of the highest quality and need no guarantees!and "
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I remember, agreed with the person to meet at 8 p.m., came, we call, and behind the door radio feeds signals of the exact time transmits. The man opened the door and said, “Accuracy is the courtesy of the kings.” And we replied: “Our punctuality knows no boundaries.”

A well-known surgeon said:
Rural hospital.Summer.2 o'clock at night.Beyond the window of the storm:strong wind, rain, in general "enemy winds".Surgical staff "Surgical"touch their nose.Suddenly a strong knock on the door.The patient came.At the question of the staff from the door "Where?"answered "From Ivanovsky" (a village 15 km from the district center).With the words "Well you are the hero, in such weather to go to the hospital!",they open the door and invite you to enter.The man crunches and crunches from the door, but can't go through.The help comes from the med brother.With his help, the patient enters the room and

here here :
"Kavik: Good morning Are you looking for a promoter?
We are looking for a specialist in advertising and PR.
Question: What is in these duties?
OCD: Judging by the question you do not fit us))"

:) A very logical question. We have the responsibilities of the programmer (literally): "repair of electrical equipment, solving problems with electricity". Who knows what the pioneer has to do ;)

I did not hold up :)

We correctly calculate fuel consumption - 600 km divided by 100 liters! We get that the hammer eats only 6l/100 km, and that’s not enough! I speak to you as an engineer.
— — —

What engineers are like.

Preface: Drilled the house for three days because it has 4 floors.I was tired of jumping with clothes and I bought a cute shabby on the sharrinary, which is dressed on alternating tasty scented clothes-chips. The beauty! I washed and forgot...and here the swabber was found by the husband.
I sit behind the compost, I don’t touch anyone, here the door opens from the pinch and my round spouse, whose maximum physical loads make up the movement from the compost to the refrigerator and back, rushes into the room with wild eyes and swaddling forward. Soon, he begins to shake the pool.
I: Oh what are you?? to
Evaluate what I found!! Is it cool??? Are you a toilet soap? What about the corridor? And the bedroom?? to
Without waiting for an answer, he picked up the floor a little more... then the door... his MONITOR, and ran away, waving the sword in an unknown direction....

And I thought about the development of a radio-controlled vacuum cleaner and a racing machine... well what? Let’s play 😉 😉 😉

here here :
My companion is very self-sufficient, even on the phone called the box office movie tickets to book, at that end, so they say- "but, what can I help?", and he so appeals to me -"oh, and what to answer, what do we want?" Me this is his character trait, at the end I got, I answer -bl#@de ask - what are the peppers in Ukraine!" He stumbled, looked at me, turned and replies on the phone uncertainly-"am...and what are the peppers in Ukraine?...O_o

So here’s where most of the posts on debt payments come from debt operators and sellers.

@serbunchik
I like to lie on the couch and write to customers "I am in the subway - I will call back later"

The support service "VKontakte"
xxx: Can I somehow view outdated services, such as "Anonymous opinions"?
Support Agent: Unfortunately, this service was disabled because it was actively used by all sorts of trolls and hooligans. You have a boring summer.
Oh, sorry, I got confessions in love there, and I can't even read them and fill myself with pleasant memories =(
Support Agent: Do not worry. They were trolls and hooligans.

Hammer and gasoline.

1st Buy a hammer.
2nd Measure a litre bowl (and if you need special accuracy - a bowl) the control amount of gasoline. And pour it into the tank mentioned in p.1 hammer.
Three Take a hammer.
4 is Get out of here naked.
by Zy.
Do not bring magnets.

...in which, along with other regalias, it was indicated that the applicant is an indigenous Moscow...

Yes to! Moscovite me, moscovite me entirely! by FacePalm