bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №67133
 17.07.2012
XXX is off. Heavily resurrected by spirits
This is what the Alcohol Maker does!! to

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №67132
 17.07.2012
I tell you, it’s all natural! Color is natural!
What about orthophosphoric acid?
Oh yeah, it is natural! There is no GMO. They are not put there - it will ruin the image of the Coca-Cola company!
Wow, they don’t put...
Zzzz: They would put, but they don’t survive there stupidly.

[ + 31 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67131
 17.07.2012
I am comfortable at all. Everything grows from one place: my legs and my arms.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №67130
 17.07.2012
My friend burned:
How to find out that your wife is gone. There would be impotence, and it would be okay.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67129
 17.07.2012
5 years of marriage:

You can make a gift based on the anniversary number. Give her a beautiful bouquet of five roses.

Just a pepper, what a gorgeous bouquet of five roses!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №67128
 17.07.2012
Answer to Mailer
111: Your favorite books? What book has caught you, brought you to tears, or after which you have had a post-taste?
222: Mark Lutz "Studying Python" 4th edition. 1200 pages rub what Python is. The tears are guaranteed 😉

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67127
 17.07.2012
For a year, 49-year-old Johnny Depp has met with the partner on the film "The Roma Diary", 26-year-old Amber Heard, who before meeting with Johnny claimed to be a supporter of same-sex love.

...the naive Amber...)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №67126
 17.07.2012
I got a car navigator yesterday. You won’t believe there’s a gloss and it even works :)
Why do you need the sea floor?

[ + 44 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67125
 17.07.2012
I work as an electrician.
He breaks to us in the workshop of the agent... followed by him, three large boxes are introduced, saying we need to collect, goes... we look into the boxes of wires, boxes and all the not very well-known hares for us and only by the names of the companies of manufacturers we understand that we were caught up with the odins! Not long thinking we open the closet with stocks of old PCs, from which we were going to collect a game car! And here inspiration as from a cage...wrapped three hards on the outer part of the system, suited under the system mother - Bulgarian, killed with a hammer saw the dog express in the agp sudot, added modern through a module of flood launching light bulbs stitched on the front panel of the lamp in 500 watts and painted a marker in green and red, the button of the door - the sovedepovsky packager and took to the cabinet... in the evening under the shops listened to the neck of the slugs, and those at one time acute eyes look at the little monster who occasionally blinds the lamps in front of the dream panel...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №67124
 17.07.2012
Talk about frisbee:
I bought a plate.
and flying.
And the disc 😉
It would be better 😉
1)No, if you can turn off the soup, it means a plate, you can not eat from the disk.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №67123
 17.07.2012
He told me that he and his wife hadn’t been well for a long time.

How do you imagine it differently? "I and my wife, by the way, are okay, but I don’t mind fucking you too"?? to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №67122
 17.07.2012
I have a fellow one for the purpose of studying English read the specification of 386th 2 volumes of 600 pages, says the first 300 pages was hard :)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №67121
 17.07.2012
My grandmother gave me today.
Going into the chest to the chickens, I at this time peel the raspberries. He said, “Oh chicken, are you dead?
The whole shit went to hell. :D

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67120
 17.07.2012
Photo by Pamela Anderson:
Anonymous
I would blow.
Anonymous
Oh, and I would beat it...
Anonymous
And I would knock...
Sergius
If everyone blows, there will be a storm. – Mao Zedong

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №67119
 17.07.2012
We play a table game, one of the teams came up with the task: by drawing to try to show the other members of the team the word "greening". You can’t talk/show and so on. Well, a friend is drawing trees there, grass, painting, but the time is over and the team has not had time to guess what was on the drawing. They ask, mol, what is it? The greenness! After that, the most epic phrase was heard - Why didn't you paint a hammer!? to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №67118
 17.07.2012
I ate a piece of tooth.
You have a real chance to bite your ass.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67117
 17.07.2012
[12:20:43] Stee1: I have already decided that I will go to parental meetings when the spinoffs appear
[12:20:58] Stee1: How can you miss an opportunity to troll teachers?
Mr. Garrett: I presented a collection of 25 ducks like you and me
[12:21:22] Stee1: (rofl)
[12:21:24] Mr Garrett: The meeting will be disrupted
[12:21:30] Stee1: with teacher facebook
Mr Garrett: Listen to me
[12:21:55] Mr. Garrett: but a child should be born at least for the sake of the school.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67116
 17.07.2012
XXX: That was nonsense, it was a more obscene case.
XXX with my wife.
XXX: I work somehow, nothing predicts trouble
xxx: there is a phone call, and on the other side is wild hysteria, crying... tears.
XXX: I call, I call and I call. So once 10
xxx: called, in response: we are getting divorced. I am (in confusion) from the fucking?
Wife: You brought a blonde home and betrayed me with her
X: Do you have such guesses? (I have never changed my wife)
Wife: I found a long white hair on your trousers on the loggia
XXX: I: in the wilderness: and what? The wind could take from the neighbors, and not much more. I go.
XXX: Coming, reassuring... I look at the thing-doc
xxx: and this is a crazy pack, which a whole bunch on the occasion of the repair lay on the loggia. From the wind, the fiber picked up and clung to the cowboys who dried up.
That’s what it’s like, baby!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №67115
 17.07.2012
There was a little rain all day. The club near New Glockenshire on that day was not entirely crowded. And from where? I don’t play cricket today, the grass is completely broken. The lobby is missing. A sleepy bartender lazyly poured the Scotch into the glasses of two elderly gentlemen.

Sir John, can we fuck the little one?
Not the time, Duke Humbert. Not the time. Let’s keep writing Wikipedia. Small for the evening. I just had to find a heroin recipe for suicides.

Humbert drank Scotch and left the club. It dimmed. It was July 9, 2012. Nothing has predicted trouble.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №67114
 17.07.2012
Prepare for Ride. There is a discussion in the typography. The only girl on the whole guild of men loudly:

I am naked today. I go to bed quickly.

There is no scene.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna