bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139733
 18.03.2017
Reksi: Warner Bros. Studios decided to re-launch the cult film “The Matrix”. This is by The Hollywood Reporter with reference to anonymous sources.

Zrk47: A cross between the Matrix and the Terminator
Zrk47: There is a fight on the surface. The remains of the people under the command of D. Connor fights the machines to give Neo time to turn off the machines through the matrix.
Zrk47: To help Neo, Connor sends the T-800 program into the D-DOS matrix

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №139732
 18.03.2017
All your problems with women come from uncertainty. You don't get a girl out of your head, so tell her about it in a direct text, on the other hand, too, many hints do not understand, it's general human. In the presence of information that she will be knocked out in all the cracks at the first opportunity, she will either agree to be friends on such conditions, or will fall away and will not illuminate and irritate various organs.
And if you are not able to clearly say what you need from a person, well, sit, friends, platonically, risking to spend your entire life.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №139731
 18.03.2017
» hugs and kisses, and when trying somehow to define the relationship and move on makes a round face: "And I'm what, I'm nothing, you don't understand everything". This is friendship, not what you’re writing about.

Everyone would be as understandable as you :( Or for the desire to eat (for their own expense) in the company and discuss the news of music and movies in the friendship recorded...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №139730
 18.03.2017
The Division!
Here I am gay (homic, pidaras – call me as you like, I’m poch). And about this most of my girls know, and for a long time: boys-boys-men as they grow up changed in their eyes.
Question: why every second made claims, say, you don’t look at me "as a woman"?! And no, it wasn’t meant to "notice a new hairstyle"—this was just fine. She did not eat, she was meant as a woman who carried a whistleblower.
I have to look like her, at least. Not that painful sadness.
WTF to you?

You, dear, are just communicating with foolish girls who are very concerned about the question of “marriage and pen”. Change the circle of communication, and everyone will get stuck.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №139729
 18.03.2017
vvv: Great news "The analysts of the company "Yandex" can not yet answer the question whether androids dream of electric sheep.
But they know the inhabitants of which regions will dream of horses, dragons and giant strawberries. More in this article..."

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №139728
 18.03.2017
Science has proven that pigs cannot see the sky. That’s all you need to know about those who have stumbled into power.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №139727
 18.03.2017
My mother in 1936. survived the occupation. History of her words. The little girl remembered what happened. As I remembered her stories, now, unfortunately, no one has to ask for details anymore.

The mother remembered that when the war had just begun, the grandmothers-neighbors whispered, saying that the German would come - even if order would be set. The German came. First, all the dogs were shot. If the German saw something in his yard or house that he needed, he simply took it. Not hiding or hiding. Right of the strong. If the hostess tried to object, he could just knock his fist, and could shoot at the spot.
There were more Romanians. They never took anything openly. But they stole godlessly, anything.
These are national characteristics.

They lived in the glory. It was very hungry. Her mother remembered her grandmother picking up the burnt leaves from under the first snow and cooking bread. As at night, the grandmother and other women were rushing through the bombs and shells robbed collegiate field for the remains of potatoes, which they had not yet had time to collect. There was a German patrol along the field. When they approached, they had to die and merge with the earth. The Germans used the light. You could also turn the machine. In any case.

When it became very bad, the younger sister of the grandmother came for them from Kramatorsk to pick them up. It seemed easier there. On their way back, two young girls were still in fact (the grandmother was 1914). And two children (the mother and her younger brother) took the German patrol. taken to command. Fortunately, the German translator was Polish. My grandmother spoke Polish. Pretending to be Poles. How could they explain where they are going and why? The translator whispered about something with a German officer.
Together with others, they were pushed into the body of a truck and taken somewhere under the convoy. I thought it was shooting. They went far. The truck stopped. They were planted. told to go. Her mother remembered her grandmother holding her hand and whispering, “Just don’t run. Just don’t run.” I thought they would shoot in the back. But the truck left. Those left in it were shot as partisans and their accomplices.

And the collaboration really did. From somewhere came our leaflets with information. The grandmother turned them, tied them, wore a coat on top, and the five-year-old child walked around the houses, carrying these leaflets. It is well understood that if they get caught, they will shoot the whole family.

Another mother recalled with gratitude the fat cook Otto from the officer dining room at the German airfield. The fat cook Otto took the children to work and clean the potatoes. For this, from the remains of the officer’s lunch, each of them poured a bowl of soup. It should have been on the spot, with the cook. Otto made sure that the elderly did not take food from the younger ones. If after the first round there was something left in the boiler, Otto poured the supplement to the smallest. There were “tricks” who quickly ate their portion and tried to get in line again, as if they had not yet been poured. Otto immediately pulled them out of the line.
Otto also allowed the children to take potatoes home. The whole family survived these crashes.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №139726
 18.03.2017
In front of the lightforest stops two cars - Renault Logan and Lamborghini. Logan’s driver, turning the pen, drops the glass and asks Lamborghini’s driver:
How about the car at all? Does not break?
It’s like a normal car, why do you ask?
I see that people are not buying them.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139725
 18.03.2017
Childhood – curiosity

Doctors if there are. Tell me, why is there such a phenomenon as a prothesis of the hand? Especially with motorcycles. Is the brush a purely mechanical system, or do I know something? All her muscles are found around the radial bone, below the wrist only a willless puppet, for which the tendons are pulled.
Why do wildly expensive systems, when endoprostheses already exist even in series, and from soft tissues you can form at least a sickle, at least a sickle? What prevents titanium endoprostheses and a piece of skin with fatty fiber from making a new brush and sewing tendons to it?
Okay, it is easier. What prevents the tendons in general from sewing to some skin-throughing stitches or piercings that can move a purely mechanical prothesis gloves? Yes, at the point of contact, the mole will be filled, but it is better to use your hand sometimes than to sit without a clove at all and wait for the sea weather and all kinds of wonders with bio-flow control.
Tell me, I know for sure, there is at least one here who tells a story that is very obscene, humorous and with a fire. Enlighten the dark and distant man.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139724
 18.03.2017
XXX: And the day she threatened (!) With my intimate photos. I jumped up)
yyy: I would also like to spray on the intimate photos of Lenki)))

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №139723
 18.03.2017
Tolerance is yes.
In our base floor is stored a line of unlimited length.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139722
 18.03.2017
Yesterday there was a fun conversation at the box office of our supermarket:
I didn’t recognize you without a hat.
Usually without a child.
And that too, yes.

Collective image of Katenka - a hat and a boy

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №139721
 18.03.2017
Two different companies have fun. One of the companies celebrated the wedding (the second day of the celebration, there were only young people)There a lady from a neighboring company begins to shoot the eyes in the direction of the company celebrating the wedding. A guy cries on her, they both go out in a cigarette, the lady started hanging on the guy. They agreed to go to the toilet. The man was at a party with his wife. But Madame came up with a super plan, first she went, and the guy in a couple of minutes followed her. They are collected mean they are in the toilet, at this time for the purposes of cleaning a cleaner is submerged in the toilet. The toilet was for one person. The door was closed, the cleaner was waiting. But the door was not opened, thinking that maybe the man got bad, she went down and took the key. When she opened the door, she was so shy of what was going on, that the whole restaurant was screaming "HELP HERE" The guards and these two companies ran to these screams. The unfaithful husband was taken with a rack, the wife was in shock. After seeing it, she immediately headed to the exit to the closet. Near the wardrobe, the husband slipped on his knees and asked for forgiveness, she did not forgive and said that she would file for divorce, she left in tears. The lady who was weak on the forehead was married. Her husband was not in the restaurant at the time. The cleaner then said: I don't understand why I was so upset, and even such a phrase.

P.S. the story was told by the wardrobe worker with whom he worked.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139720
 18.03.2017
and rb_kg
By the way... When I was studying at Istfak, we had three separate courses on the history of the main Abrahamic religions. The course on the history of Judaism was led by a secular teacher, though a Jew. The course on the history of Islam was led by a secular teacher, though Kyrgyz. The course on the history of Christianity was led by an Orthodox priest. I don’t know exactly, but judging by the size of the golden clock – not the last rank in the capital temple. In a traditionally Muslim country. By the idea, these three courses are the same, but if in Judaism and Islam we have studied the origin of religions, their main postulates and interaction with other confessions throughout history, then in Christianity we have broken the dates of Ecumenical Councils and the names of Orthodox figures. And yes, although the subject was called “History of Christianity,” we studied exclusively Orthodoxy. The Catholics were concerned only in one lesson, where the Father-Teacher explained to us in detail that the Catholics are secret slaves of the Jews, subordinate to their will, and the Jews prepare the coming of the Antichrist and enemies of all living.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139719
 18.03.2017
» and nahuya you "spermotoxicists" offer activities / entertainment / events? What special kind of religion is it to chew yourself with a stick and scream that it hurts?

By default, I consider any person to be a human being, not a concerned male/mercantil female, no matter how many I encounter. And until a person manifests himself in this sense, I continue to consider him to be normal, who is interested in simply socializing, like any other normal person. I don’t put stereotypes on people based solely on their gender, and I treat them like people—just as I want them to treat me. That is, I am friendly and invite you to spend time together. If a person is called to eat together, he is called to eat, the rest is in his head. If there is anything but food and relaxed communication, then it is worth to go to a psychotherapist and not look for hints and see friends everywhere. It’s in your head, like everything else. It’s you who put yourself up with a stick and suffer from wet fantasies regardless of your age and social status, not us. It’s bad for you, not for us and our "just friends".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №139718
 17.03.2017
Taxes for those who do not pay taxes? The problem is that real tuna eaters just have a formal job with all the deductions, only they don’t work, but rather even harm. I think everyone understands who I am talking about.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139717
 17.03.2017
American Mormon preacher beats Brazilian robbers

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139716
 17.03.2017
Sorry, I always confuse Snow White and Beauty. And with Alexandra Grey.
Yyy: Stop fluffing, we’re going to the movie here.
Zzz: Are you against the creativity of Alexandra?
yyy: Well you, no, I watch her videos as training courses
Zzz: Is Sashuna Tea currently programming?
Yyy: Well, Python in her video is...
XXX: Which version?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №139715
 17.03.2017
XXX: Yyy is itching your scratch. Right now here.
Zzzz: I am ashamed to ask. What is she chewing there?
XXX: The Hair
zzz: As a mathematician, of course, I understand that this is still not an accurate answer, but I will probably not clarify further. Maybe I don’t want to know that.
XXX: Whether you like it or not, but she scratched the beetle. Now he tries to fall asleep, but I am afraid I'm ridding too loudly

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №139714
 17.03.2017
In Kharkiv, a carpenter found a grenade in a garbage tank

Where did all this come from?
The Echo of War.

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