bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99393
 19.06.2014
Records of Debt:
by Andrei 1000
The Smoke 2000
Anton the Fucks

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99392
 19.06.2014
Walked at a wedding. The celebration took place in the sanatorium, in the hall, which ended with a decent terrace, part of the guests outdoors. The day was clear, no clouds, and the guests were still sober. In the evening (almost dark) the weather began to ruin, the degree of guests began to overtake the critical mark. The storm was expected to start. It is more like the storm of a century than the rain: the wind, the grass, the lightning. Everyone came from the terrace into the hall, and here the electricity is turned off. One of the guests (a solid man, forty years old, in a suit, already quite tired) suddenly jumps out onto the terrace, and with the words, "You, fuck, the light is turned off, I will break you like an oxygen heater, be in the finger", pulls the index finger to the sky, "Be here, creature," he cries. All the guests are frozen, silence, suddenly a stunning lightning explosion, a bright flash and a tree falls in the park in front of the sanatorium on a dark background. All in shock, the women whispered, and the man didn’t even shake, shouting: “Mimo, shit, you’re what cash, make, I said where to beat you.”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99391
 19.06.2014
here here :

I go to the mail to get a translation.
and empty. and quiet. A very polite operator. The shock.

This is not the first such quote. What is it? The marketers of the Russian Post held a seminar on viral advertising.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99390
 19.06.2014
Here is what I saw:

"Riding to the explosion"

Great, I think :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99389
 19.06.2014
Yes, I live alone - I would also, if I had my apartment, arrange drunk orgies at home. Not because of lack of communication, but because of love for drunk orgies.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99388
 19.06.2014
xxx: I told my colleagues that I started learning Spanish. And one girl recently turned into a blonde (we were still cuddling her, say, well, now it will affect the intellectual level).
So, she asks me "and why do you speak Spanish? You are going to Barcelona!"
Tagged: lol
XXX: Everyone was laughing. and she herself, when she realized that the stupidity was frozen. She explained that it was she, it turns out, just confused Barcelona with Madrid!!!))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99387
 19.06.2014
For almost a month we have been looking for a traffic manager (this is the one who makes the playlists for TV channels). Finally the first candidate arrived. Listen to duty. On the phrase: "In general, you will have to work with the program Exel" — I thought. And then she said:
You know, my husband doesn’t allow me to work with Exel.

and left.

Such are the husbands.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99386
 19.06.2014
I am Figo.
– – – – –
My whole life was "Rosomaha". A kind of offensive, a kind of smiling...
– – – – –
No matter how old you are, even 10!!! This is what a fool you need to be, so that with such a name never ask, what kind of beast is this - Rosomach!
What are we wearing?! This is a cool predator, with big dogs and teeth aghrr!!! There is even a wolf crawling on the clothes!
For his species, the most (or one of) the greatest representative.
And the proverb is "evil as a rosemary"
It’s not a shame to be a Rosomaha, even without Marvel.
=) is


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №99385
 19.06.2014
Take to the country 12 water pipes "papa-mama, in the middle of the crane". In order not to grimpe a surprise, he rolled out of them a whole pipe, like a steam car. I got caught up about the fact that if you shut down even one of them, it paralyses the work of the entire device as a whole...
Fuck, I’ve gathered the perfect model of our bureaucratic permission system.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99384
 19.06.2014
I: sweet... you are so young, innocent somehow... sometimes it seems to me that if I tell you that Santa Claus does not exist, it will shock you.
He is: What? Am I innocent? Tell me you joke.
I am serious, you are small.
You are cruel today.
It was too much for Santa. :P

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99383
 18.06.2014
In the south-east of London, a Russian student crashed to death, falling from the balcony during sex

Fucked...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99382
 18.06.2014
In Muslim countries, Darth Vader is believed to be a woman. O_O

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99381
 18.06.2014
We need to rebuild the base.
What to rebuild it from?
From the ashes...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99380
 18.06.2014
Employee: I now have everything out of the outlet (
I: outlook is a program to work with mail, mail is mail (as an option - mayl.ru)
Again, what is happening?
Employee: Well, in the mail where you increased my size, the letters never come and go. and in a simplified mail opened, it all rolled out of normal mail)
I: Simplified mail - do you mean web mail interface?
Well yes, Miley
What type of normal mail?! to
Working with Outlook, Normal
I: look at
Your mailbox on the server is an elephant in the zoo.
Employee and))
I: You can look at an elephant while you are next to him, you can be in the binoculars, you can be on the TV.
Employee : Yes
I: next to it is if you are on a server with a box (you don’t have such a possibility, it’s an admin of the mail server), the binoculars are the web interface of the mail, on the TV it’s outlook.
Employee: an elephant one, yes
I : Yes. These are different tools for working with the same entity. So the words you wrote above cause a cognitive dissonance in me :)
Employee: understandably, the TV does not work at all while I look at the binoculars))
I: Voyeur

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99379
 18.06.2014
Reading in the shopping list: Calgon, Baralgin, Voltaren, Faringol
I caught myself on the fact that I pulled the engagement ring on my finger.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99378
 18.06.2014
Coaches, players change - and the Russian national team does not lose its game!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №99377
 18.06.2014
I walk in the courtyard. A girl is ahead. And so whispered the pope... Just all overwhelmed, the good is something. And imagine, she turns (seems to look at the driver's reaction), and behind the wheel - a aunt (i.e. I am. What a disappointment in her eyes! and 😉

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99376
 18.06.2014
From the Hearing:
Do you want to eat?
Well, I’m already crawling.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №99375
 18.06.2014
Mikefender: Did you notice that the Uzbek people look at parked bikes exactly like the Gypsies on horses?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99374
 18.06.2014
From the dark spaces:
Closing the door to my world. Behind that door live butterflies.
Are they delicious?
zzz: The question from the spectators, who of them lives in the community?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna