My friend has a professional in every botanic there. In the middle of the summer, we go with him to the market, around a bunch of merchants, everyone is trying to sell something. A grandmother invites us:
- Take my potatoes, grown on your site, with your own hands, with love, for yourself.
A friend, looking at the buds, says:
I have to take. Let’s help this grandmother a little. It has a place very far away.
I am interested:
Do you know that grandmother?
Reply to:
and no. I know this potato, it’s from Egypt.

- Dmitry Anatolyevich, the children are growing up. The family buzz cannot withstand.
Yes yes yes. If you don’t have an iPhone, buy a Lamborghini. And I am like a poor man for the second year in the same bandley.
Education in London, instructors, governors...
How much is the content of the property. Not me to explain to you.
My dogs refuse to fly on such a plane.
- Old wives ask for alimony, and young men are also not encouraged by the ministerial mandate, you need to buy an apartment.
There is not enough money, we have to come up with something.
All arguments are for, against anyone. The government is unanimously in favour of raising the retirement age.

The middle daughter, the third, fell from the bicycle on the country, scratched the skin on the nose. Her story :

It was very painful, but I decided not to cry, because the tears were salty, and my nose would hurt even more. So I did not cry. I just spoke.

My friend has a professional in every botanic there. In the middle of the summer, we go with him to the market, around a bunch of merchants, everyone is trying to sell something. A grandmother invites us:

- Take my potatoes, grown on your site, with your own hands, with love, for yourself.

A friend, looking at the buds, says:

I have to take. Let’s help this grandmother a little. It has a place very far away.

I am interested:

Do you know that grandmother?

Reply to:

and no. I know this potato, it’s from Egypt.

The incident occurred in the city-megapolis Chongqing. The student invited the girl to a seafood restaurant, one of the many restaurants where aquariums are installed, and fish and seafood can be selected for yourself, they will be caught with you, weighed and immediately taken to the kitchen.

The student and the girl picked a half-kilogram fish, which they soon brought on a plate, cut into pieces and cooked.

After half an hour of slow lunch, the fish ended. The student was surprised: how did they eat such a large fish in such a short time? Suspecting that the fish drowned during the cooking process, the student refused to pay the bill, the conversation with the waitress went into a mess, and in the end the student called the police.

In front of the police arrived a non-trivial task of collecting evidence: after all, the fish has already been eaten! And then the student offered a solution: collect a fish skeleton, catch fish of the same weight and compare them in length. Said is done. While the student and the dissatisfied waitress were picked out of the garbage and reconstructed the fish rib, the "control" fish was caught and weighed. Then they began to compare them. But no matter how applied, the "control" fish each time turned out to be a third longer.

As a result, the restaurants admitted that they were wrong, offering the student a discount from the original 144 yuan to 110 yuan (approx. from 1050 rubles. The student agreed and considered the incident exhausted.

It was summer 2016, I worked in the United States. I was given 4 months to stay in the United States (Work and Travel), and I wanted to: buy a new phone, laptop, pay a debt to my parents (a little more than 3 thousand Americans) and at least a little travel. Therefore, there was a lot of work to do, namely, to rise at 7. 40 in the morning, breakfast and on the big for the first job at 9 (cleaning rooms in the hotel - housing). From 9 to 16 on the first job, then a small snack and at 17. I am now in my second job. from 17. 40 to half the first night (and sometimes up to an hour) - on the second job. In the end, home in half the second. Shower, smoke, drink a bottle of beer with friends (beer in the refrigerator was every day) - already the beginning of the third - time to go to bed. On the first job 2 weekends a week (done for laundry and cooking meals), on the second - no weekends. Therefore, I slept every day on average for 5 and a half hours, if on the first day of work - then 6-7 hours. For me, this is very little, I need a minimum of 7-8 every day. There was no choice.



And here, one night, I sleep at night and dream that I am at work (in a hotel). There is not much work (there were such days) and I am not in a hurry to work. I meet my supervisor (they often visited our rooms to check, help, bring something, etc.) and he says, “There is not much work today, you can lie down to rest in the room if you get tired” (but it never happened). I remember, I dream of all this. And here, lying on the bed, comfortably, gently... my legs swing... I open my eyes (not in a dream, already in sight)... and I see – night. Like the night? Not like night? I jump on my feet, stand in the middle of the room (my room in the apartment where I lived). Did I fall asleep at work? But how did it go? ! to What to do now? How did no one find me? ! to The supervisor had to go through this room before he gave up the shift... Aha, what to think, I have to see how many rooms I have not finished, in order to understand how hard I get in... yes, to run... and where to run? For 3 minutes I wandered around my room with crazy eyes. I was upset like never before. My head was broken from questions. I was not embarrassed either by being in my room or by getting up from my bed, not from the hotel. I was sure – I fell asleep on a hotel bed in the afternoon, in my shift and woke up now, at night. I must note that the apartment I lived in is two-storey, my room is on the second floor. In general, after 3 minutes of panic, I decided - we must first get to my cart and think about what to do next (housekeepers in that hotel, as in many others, carried everything necessary to work in the carts). The car on the first floor, I knew it. That is to say, I realized that I was on the second floor, and the truck - below, on the first... and that I could not be at home and the truck at home - I did not realize. In general, I realized what it was only when I first climbed on my body on the stairs – I was cowardly (I sleep like that). Here I stopped and thought: I fell asleep at work – it’s possible... no one found me – unlikely... but why am I a coward? Where is my uniform? After these thoughts, I looked up again at the walls and the stairs I was about to go down... and I saw my apartment, not the hotel. I returned to the room – my room, I wasn’t at work... I started to remember the past day – it was hard to do, but when I finished the change in the hotel I remembered. Moreover, I remembered that I then worked on a second job... But from the horror and stress I experienced in those five minutes, I tried to rest for at least another hour...



In general, take care of yourself and rest from work more than you work. You won’t earn all the money!



P.S. And yes, I then borrowed to my parents, bought a phone, a laptop, lived in New York for 3 days and even deposited a few hundred dollars.

One day I wrote to a girl.

She once wrote, “You know, I wanted to tell you something for a long time. There is one thing in our correspondence that annoys me wildly. Here I am writing you a message. This is, judging by the background color, you read it. And then you only answer after three dumb hours. You either don’t read messages if you’re busy, or respond immediately. Write me what you say, I will answer later. It feels like I’m talking with the brake.”

I read this and thought. Her words struck me a little. I wanted to answer something clever and modest.

“You are the brake,” I wrote in 5 days.

xxx: Here, by the way, I have always been stunned by this: why raise on intimate photos (if not for the purpose of blackmail), if the internet is full of them) even in Google, even in Yandex, though, forgive God, in Bing and Yahu kill the required request and all you will)

Yyy: Breasts do not have a soul on the Internet. It’s just breasts and no more, one of the millions of breasts that can be found on the internet, the girl acts here just as a bearer of breasts. But if these are exclusive breasts from a girl you know at least superficially personally, then this is another matter. These are completely different emotions, because the breasts have ceased to be just the breasts, they have become the breasts of the same girl. In other words, Sissy has a soul.

The Russian social elevator is only going down.

I proposed to a friend to correspond with real paper letters, said, romantically and all that... He remained silent for a long time, and then replied, “Nataha... are you in jail?”

Thanks to the pension reform, Russians will have a pension that they can only dream of.

Recently my family suffered pain, my grandmother died from a second stroke. They all gathered their relatives, grandmother in the grave in the middle of the house. All in my family are wild believers, only I am a skeptic.

My mother began to ask her relatives if anyone had any prayers with her from the church to read before the tomb. Nobody had any prayers and I suggested, so don’t mind, saying, “Why not just “smell”? ” What I got categorically NO, because on the Internet prayers are not holy. ended

I complained to a married colleague about a man, he said that the relationship is generally always continuous suffering, but it is worth the children to appear - and you will immediately understand that before there was nothing like that.

We overwhelm the balls with the things of a friend to give something out of her unnecessary to me.

P – Oh, this is my favorite dress! Only I did not wear it.

Why didn’t I wear my favorite?

First I watched, then I didn’t get in.

The classic. and :)

How to select employees for an IT company: you need to take a difficult puzzle, gather it in half and offer candidates to gather it to the end. Depending on the result:

- the candidate has collected the puzzle correctly and to the end - the specialist goes to the development department;

- the candidate broke the puzzle during the assembly process - the specialist goes to the testing department;

- the candidate dismantled the puzzle to zero - the specialist goes to the analysis department;

- the candidate said that half the gathered puzzle and so looks good - the specialist goes to the implementation department;

The candidate did not notice the request to collect a puzzle - targets the project managers.

A serious relationship cannot be built without a sense of humor.

The last World Championship was marked not only by sports sensations but also by a strong burst on the behavior of Russian women and their accessibility. The Internet filled with numerous photos of allegedly Russian girl engaging in all kinds of silly things with an alleged foreign fan.
Patriots of numerous masters shake their hands and shed tears about national pride and reputation. How is it! Now the whole world knows about available Russian women! Different kinds of federal and local newspapers are drunk with the description of scenes as Russian women desperately offer themselves to foreigners. Shame on the world!

Interested in the topic, I decided to kiss and kiss about the opinion of foreigners about Russian women during the championship. And, surprisingly, I only discovered tons of amateur video from Latin countries about how you can skillfully breed a naive Russian young beauty for quick entertainment.

Here is the scene as a group of Brazilian fans with a kind smile approaches the girls sitting on the bench and as a demonstration of international friendship asks to repeat for them the phrase in Portuguese - "I want to suck your fox." Naive, confident girls, polished by the attention of foreign guests, cheerfully repeat for them.

Or in the crowd of Argentinians together with everyone joyfully jumps a very cute blonde and tries to pronounce in Spanish "I am a gentle, pink vagina." How we taught...

How else then? Thro the civilized world, Latinos are perceived as a social bottom. In Portugal and Spain, Brazilians and Argentinians are the foundations of prostitution, drug trafficking and low-skilled labor. And only in Russia they felt foreigners for a couple of weeks. But, as the saying goes, you can take a Brazilian from Latin America, but Latin America from a Brazilian.

And surprisingly, no one in the world commented on available Russian women, and in horror look at these animals, who in all use the naivety and kindness of our women and write what a shame for Latinos. We Europeans are ashamed of all those who come to Russia and wear a cap in the shape of a condom.

And only the Russian press writes about Russian shallows and prostitutes, instead of showing photos of concerned Argentinians carefully studying the technique released by the Argentinian Football Association to seduce Russian women. The Argentines have apologized. This is shame.
A disgrace is not for our women, who have the right to sleep with whom they want and when they want, but for all sorts of moralists and pseudo-patriots, who in the focus do not see foreign drinking craving, but with intoxication throw stones at our women.

Many famous robbers had shareholders without whose help they would not be able to commit their daring robberies, such as Bonnie and Clyde, Buch Cassidy and Sandens Kid, the Pension Fund and the Ministry of Health...

I have two friends. We call them Sasha and Vadim. Both work in the kitchen as chefs in the delivery of sushi and work on a shift. He comes to me in his weekend sacha to talk and smoke. In the conversation he asks me:

Have you not seen Wadiya?

Last time, what is it?

“Well, go, I call him, and he takes the phone and immediately says to me, ‘Go! “I was rushing here. I guess I know, but no! I re-call, a long clutches go, again takes the phone and immediately "Go, a! " I do not know what happened. I go to work to talk to him.

Didn’t you mess with him? At work what?

Apparently everything was okay.

Go out and find out. Strange what happened to him.

Eventually, having agreed on other topics, he left. It was more than half a working day and Sasha decided to look at me again. Remembering the conversation, I ask the first:

What did Vadik send you there?

It is OK. I just called him because he was drunk at 5 in the morning.

In the summer, I often go out to stand on the balcony with a naked torso. A neighbor through several balconies with a young son also go out to boil the bubbles. They look at me and talk about something. Then Dad shouted to me:

Fey, where did you get that carpet? ! to

At first I looked around, looking for a carpet behind me, and then I guessed they were joking about my hairy torso. Both are bald like drums.

Dad gave it! I began to answer.

So it continued for many years, and the joke began to grow thick hair, like the neighbor's son who marries every year. Kolya, his son, by the age of twenty and a little got completely hairy and became like an orangutan.

Where did this carpet come from? ! to Is it time for me to ask a question, pointing to the neighbor’s son?

The neighbor said nothing, only looked away and went into the apartment.