bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83485
 28.06.2013
The year 2050. Every buyer of yeast is obliged to pay the duty to the producers of baking products and alcohol, as well as to pay for each copy of the product used.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №83484
 28.06.2013
Put on SMS the sound of detection of enemy tanks from WOT. SMS in the subway. Three guys suddenly turned their heads toward me, one hid behind my grandmother, and another girl in front of me surprised and said, "Oh!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83483
 28.06.2013
to this:
-------------------
XXX: There are two girls.
The PD is zero.
What is?
Coefficient of productivity is zero.
I: A girl, not productive, but useful.
productive
I: is useful
Who are you studying with?
I am an engineer.
I am a philologist, I should know.
XXX: O_O
-------------------
Because of the phrase "zero" the girl is waiting for Rosenthal with villas in the philological hell.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83482
 28.06.2013
Workers are awake
What mobile phone number is indicated in the contract?
by Iphone
... the number
The Fourth
- = = ="

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №83481
 28.06.2013
My employees are burning.
2: Yes – is it?
1: They reduced the scale of the file in Excel to 60% and put 24 fonts later to be better visible
2nd day 😉 😉

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83480
 28.06.2013
In general, there is something like video surveillance at home. I went in and saw that the motion detector worked. I decided to watch, I started the video and I saw the door opened and I entered it.
It turned out that yesterday's recording was accidentally opened

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83479
 28.06.2013
News on the HUB:
"In/in Ukraine now seriously took over payment systems..."

Commentary :
by oshibka40
"It is correct to write “B/In Ukraine” rather than “On/On”."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83478
 28.06.2013
xxx> need really a girl from the village ) from a full traditional family

yyy> for wife - the best option
yyy> here I am now in the village
YYY> I’m doing everything environmentally clean
yyy> even cakes
yyy> just broken up!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №83477
 28.06.2013
New Maya Calendar Found in Mexico
Saika: Finally found money to extend the license

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №83476
 28.06.2013
Remove your socks scattered around the house, the child will pull them in the mouth!
My socks are harmless to my child.
It is not only your child, but also mine.
Tell your child’s half not to put their socks in their mouths, and my half is harmless.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №83475
 28.06.2013
The winged phrase is most often beaten.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №83474
 28.06.2013
To us in the city came the gubernians, his essays met all the local cones, the entrance to the administration was forbidden to everyone (do not let God the people clash).
One woman sits so thoughtful:
I wonder why nobody tried to blow them up when they were all put together in one place.
The answer, immediately and also thoughtful:
Half the city is fucking...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №83473
 28.06.2013
The Russian language is very short and concise. For example, the inscription "Here were tourists from Russia" consists of only three letters.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83472
 28.06.2013
The situation. I work in a university where I received a higher education a few years ago. Today, a teacher looked at me, who taught me in his time to pick up papers and at the same time brought me a box of candy. It was hard to keep up not to tick back with the words "I will not pay".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83471
 28.06.2013
xxxh: I joked today in search of an office for one website, more precisely, an online store, and accidentally stumbled on something that hanged me for 10-15 minutes.
Meet - "Professional toilet paper" (!) However...)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №83470
 28.06.2013
>>>>

And power again got its way: people hate each other, although neither of them did anything. And justified hatred is one of the strongest drugs for people.

Bro, I will agree. I am of the same opinion, but the people are deaf and blind, especially if there is a prospect of mega shame and hatred.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83469
 28.06.2013
I ordered a waterproof photocopy. Call from the shop.
Operator: Order such a la la-la... want an additional insurance?
I : Why?
Q: Will the camera fall?
I: It can withstand falling on asphalt from 2 meters
Anyone will come!
I: You can go up to 100 kg.
Do you go to the sea when it falls into the water?
I: It is waterproof, diving more than 10 meters.
Will it drown in the corals?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83468
 28.06.2013
Here is this:
That uncomfortable feeling when your favorite group is older than your parents.

I don’t care about those predictions.
Something strange happens suddenly.
When children sing to me
My former school friends.
Andrei Makarevich

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83467
 28.06.2013
One user asked a question on Google:
How to make a smoke cup at home?
How long does the criminal proceedings usually last?
Appeal to court as a defendant, how to behave?


[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №83466
 28.06.2013
I had to order the stamps. I had Olga’s girlfriend, always corresponding with her. This time I wrote to her again, she sent me the layouts, I confirm (and in every letter I address her by name), she gave me the account... then immediately the next letter, the account is not yours, here is yours - but I forgot to put the account itself. Then I wrote to her that I didn’t say the amount and I need to change the account. She - no, you can't change, I'll send another one and again in the letter there is no account... in short, laughed with her about this, dropped everything to the heat.
The bills received in the end, we talk about the delivery, we decide everything and the last letter from her: "yes and more)) I don't know who Olga is)) apparently she worked here before me and she is a good person)) but my name is Maria and I also nothing)))"

It was a check in the head. :D

Ni is

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